thanks mr. feenee
Why do boys type so slow?
God i hate today already. every part of it. and a girl just screamed really loud behind my house. i always wonder if i would have just looked out the window, maybei could have stopped a kidnapping or something.
Yesterday. well on monday i was doing my homework and i fell asleep at 7. then my mom woke me up at 10 and i wasnt done with any of it and i hadnt taken a shower. so i read for an hour and fell asleep at 11. i woke up at 5 with horrrrible cramps. thasts 8 hours of sleep. the most ive gotten since school started. and i took a shower and did my homework. except it wouldnt print right. so i went to school and i dont really rememebr anything, and then my dad picked me up at the small gym. after a 5 minutes of me giving him directions. sheesh. then we went to target and i got a new CD and a ruler. and a pretzel. then we went to my cousins.
So im trying to type the spreadsheet again and it is taling seriosuly like ten minutes to find the information for one thing. so i give up. then we go to my nana and papa house and i type the whole thing and im all ready to print and they tell me they dont even have a printer! so then we go back ot my cusins and its working better and i just gotta print it. so its not printing. god damn it.
But in between we went out to dinner because alaina, got an A on something. wow. that is so pathetic. if i got to go out to dinner everytime i did, id be one obese girl. and i miss chris' call. o well. then i watched one tree hill. i missed it. while doing my homework till eleven. i didnt even finish. but an hour earlier id started taking my sleeping pills and i crashed.
So at 6:15 my dad wakes me up. and i just cant get up. like my body wouldnt even let me. so i finally wake up at 7:21. whoops. then i get ready by 7:50 and we leave. but while im eating my breakfast im really thirsty in the car. so i decided we need to stop at mcdonalds on the way. but you see, i didnt have my spreadsheet done so i really just wanted to skip that class. so me, having my dad wrapped around my finger, coaxed him into letting me. So we go into mcdonalds and i eat 1 1/2 hash browns and some water. there were a lot of old people in there. old men, with hats. then we left and we still had 20 minutes till class ended so,
my dad: where should we go now?
me: travel around america!
my dad: okay
And then he pulls into a rite aid parking lot and parks. hm, now thats what i call america. and we just sat there. for 20 minutes. but there was this man that had a really horrible limp and i watched him throughout the store, while he was barely alive (kinda) and he baught something and i thought i saw him wipe a tear and man, he looked like he was in some pain. it worried me a lot. then i went ot school and man, those secretaries are real bitches. i smile at both of them when i come in, then i say thank you and they are all, "give it to her! not me!" sheesh. but you see, im still extremly tired and corona wouldnt let me sleep. damn him. but then i was pondering wether to walk with jayson the long way, or go by myself the short way. so i go by myself. and i learn later i missed the fight with jake and fernando! uuuugh i was so pissed! and in careers i was a pretty big loner. but i finished my spreadsheet in bus. tech. in lunch, it wasnt too bad.
katie: I remember last year you were really pissy in choir.
me: oh, well....yea, i was.
lol that was pretty funny cuz i was trying to think why, but i relized i usually was all the time. and i dont know why. in science, jesus christ im gonna be glad to not have that class. i really do hate adrian and ryan sometimes. i dont even care they make fun of me and my small boobs, or take my shit and hide it till the end of the period. but i actually did need the crap in my binder today. and adrian was really pushing me cuz i already felt like shit. and so claire told me where my stuff was and adrian, i dont even know what he said, but i turned around and said fuck you. i think he knew i was mad. but then when leaving class he continued to keep talking to me. i pushed him into a door. and jahari was just being a jerk today. cuz we have a fucking final tomorrow and i didnt know how to solve this one thing and he wouldnt help me at all. im glad i had to go right after school.
I really feel like hanging out with jake today. or at least getting a hug. i think im going to be one of those women who gets beat by their husband, but doesnt do anything because i think that he still loves me. and then eventually ill end up in the hospital, or probly die, just because i think someone love me when they dont.
Im sick of people ditching me. seriously, if one more of my friends does, im gonna have an anxiety attack or something. i dont even think that was right, but o well.
So the other day ryan and billy are having a discussion about emo's and how they cut themselves. they were saying they do it because they think they cant do anything and are just trying to kill themselves, but they cant even do that. they are completly wrong and dont know shit about what they are talking about. they do it because they cant deal with themselves or the things they do wrong. they do it because they arent happy and dont know how to help themselves, or they cant control their lifes. 90% or more of the time, it isnt an attempt of suicide, but an attempt for happiness. And if you know nothing about the background and see it funny that someone mutilates themselves, that is just wrong. put yourself in their position: not being happy and not knowing how to be, trying ot find a way out and then being thought bad of becuase you do it, possibly losing friends because of it, and then being made fun of because people that dont understand them, dont understand anything at all. I was about to say something to them, but i thought better of it then to get myself into a class discussion about cutting.
My dad will be here soon. i need to pack. i really would rather not go. damn
Au Revoir