Natural Psychology (1/2)
Title: Natural Psychology
Author: AllVowels
Rating: R/M
Spoilers: Through Season 3
Summary: Ficcy Friday prompt by claymay83: Annie and Jeff are together and have had a VERY extended honeymoon phase. Annie starts to fear that as a couple all they have between them is sex and proposes going an entire day where they’re naked together, but act normally and don’t touch each other until midnight.
AN: Sorry it took so long. This is my first attempt at writing something smutty, so be warned.
________________________________________________________________________________
Annie was pressed tightly into Jeff’s side, her leg draped across his midsection on the large king mattress in his tiny apartment. His left arm was pillowing her head and his right hand lazily drew patterns on her thigh. Her hands stroked lovingly over his well toned chest as a sheet lay draped haphazardly over their naked bodies.
‘This is so perfect... Almost too perfect.’ Her mind whispered accusingly.
“Jeff? Are you awake?” She questioned breaking the silence.
“I know I am close to god-like Annie, but I need a few more minutes before we go another round.”
“That’s not why I was asking if you were awake.”
“Oh really?”
“Alright maybe that was part of the reason but I have a question to ask you.”
“Ask away, Emily Bronte.”
“Does this seem wrong to you?”
“I am only human Annie. Maybe if I invested in some Viagra I’d be able to recover faster but…”
“No! Not that. This!” She said gesturing between Jeff and herself. “Us! We have been doing this for months.”
“Annie, are you trying to break up with me? Because if you are, you are going about it completely wrong. No one breaks up face to face anymore; it’s more of a text message sort of thing.”
Annie swatted his chest, “Stop being difficult. What I’m saying is…” She paused struggling for words, “Most couples, you know, get bored with each other after awhile. They are no longer as active in the bedroom.”
“I’d say we are active in other places besides the bedroom.”
Annie glared slightly at him, he was being deliberately obtuse. “My point is we are still humping like rabbits!”
“And this is a problem because?”
“Because!” Annie sat up abruptly causing the sheet to drop. “Because what if we don’t really like each other! We could just be using each other for sex, and one day down the road you think, ‘Hey I would rather sleep with my hot new secretary, see ya later Annie.’ And I am left by the way side while you bang some bimbo on your desk. Jeff, are you even listening to me?”
Jeff’s eyes were affixed on her exposed breasts, “Of course I was. You want to role play as boss and secretary. Sounds sexy. You could come into work one night and we can make good use of my desk. Or better yet, we will sneak into Greendale and use the Dean’s desk.”
His large hands reached forward to cup her ample chest but she batted his hands away.
“Jeff,” She whined slightly while pulling up the sheet, “I wouldn’t feel comfortable in the Dean’s office, he probably has a hidden camera in his office. And you aren’t listening to me, this is a problem.”
Jeff sighed realizing he would not get to indulge in Annie’s body until he reassured her. “I am sorry Annie. I guess I don’t see what the problem is.”
“The problem is… what if we only like each other because the sex is good.”
Jeff pulled Annie towards him making the sheet drop, “The sex isn’t good, it’s amazing. That is the Jeff Winger guarantee. Plus we were friends before we ever started having sex.”
“We weren’t friends because we liked each other. We were friends because you were trying to get in Britta’s pants and use me for notes.” Jeff kissed her forehead before trailing kisses down to her neck. “Stop trying to distract me.”
Jeff muttered into her neck, “That was true at first but then we became actual friends and then we became this.”
Annie frowned; Jeff still had trouble admitting they were in a relationship. He never denied it, but the words girlfriend or dating never came out of his mouth. Jeff felt her tense up at his words and knew he had said something wrong.
“Is there something I can do to prove to you that I just don’t care about sex?”
Annie thought for a moment, before threading her hands into his hair, “Yes I think there is.”
“Good, but can we start it tomorrow?”
Annie closed the gap between their lips and her hand dipped beneath the sheet.
“Alright.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Jeff stretched lazily the next morning, his toes creeping out from the edge of the blanket and dangling over the edge of the bed. He reached over and found the spot next to him empty. He spent several minutes debating if he should get and up search for Annie or go back to sleep. The decision was made for him when Annie entered the room… nude.
Annie wasn’t one to frolic around with nothing on. She had no problem being nude around Jeff in the bedroom, or if they were in the mist of their amorous activities. Once they were done she would usually shrug into his t-shirt or a robe though, so Jeff labeled this behavior as odd.
Puzzled Jeff asked, “What’s going on?”
“Remember you said last night you’d do something to prove that we aren’t just together because the sex is good?”
“I believe the word I used was awesome, but please continue.”
“We are going to spend the whole day together nude.” Jeff’s inner self did a little dance. This was all he had to do? Stare at a beautiful woman naked all day. Piece of cake.
Annie continued, “But we are NOT going to have sex. And no touching.”
Jeff’s inner self paused mid-dougie, no sex and no touching? This may be harder than he initially thought. How does one look at the glorious bounty that is Annie Edison and not touch it?
“I understand why we would refrain from having sex for a day, but why do we have to be naked?”
“By being naked, we will strip away the artificial layers of our relationship and allow our true spirits to mingle together.”
“What a load of bull… tiful ideas.” He tried to correct himself at Annie’s dire look, “You’ve been talking to Britta haven’t you?”
Annie blushed and gave a little shrug, “She was trying to be a good friend and help me with my problem.”
Jeff could only imagine how awkward that conversation was. Britta probably went off for an hour about how closed off and narcissistic he was and then psycho-babbled for another hour about his daddy issues.
“So naked all day but no touching?”
“Yep.”
“None at all?”
“Nada.”
Jeff frowned, he was willing to do the craziest things for this girl.
“Fine. However if you break first I won’t hold it against you. My body is a wonderland.”
Annie beamed at Jeff while bouncing slightly on her toes, glad she had gotten her way, “Okay, we are officially starting now. We will be done at midnight. You don’t like BNL, but will quote John Mayer?”
Jeff eyes darkened as Annie’s chest bounced in her excitement causing him to miss the BNL reference entirely. He threw the blanket off of himself and stalked out of the room. He was going to need a long cold shower to get through this day.
“Where are you going?”
“Shower.”
“Oh. Okay, I’ll be in the living room.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Jeff walked into the living room running a towel through his hair. Annie was perched awkwardly on the leather couch holding a throw pillow to her chest. When Annie spotted him, her eyes dipped down as she ogled his wet chest. He watched as her eyes intently followed the path of a water droplet on his skin. It ran down from his pectorals, trailed down his abs and crept its way down into his pubic hair.
Jeff cleared his throat and pointed at his face, “Excuse me but my eyes are up here.”
Annie’s wide eyes jerked upward. “Sorry.”
Jeff grinned and ran a hand down his chest, “It’s okay, I’m sexy and I know it. What is with the pillow? If I have to be bare to the world, then so do you.”
Annie reluctantly set the throw pillow next to her before crossing her arms over her chest which pushed them up slightly.
Jeff felt himself stirring slightly at the sight of Annie’s chest again. Somehow not being able to touch Annie made her bare flesh all the more appealing. It was causing him to react like a thirteen year old boy who had found a playboy for the first time and he wasn’t sure he liked it.
“Why don’t I make up something to eat?” He asked while bustling into the kitchen away from his naked girl… Annie. His naked Annie. Cooking would surely take his mind of Annie’s chest, tiny waist, slim thighs…
“Damn it.” He jerked the fridge door open trying to get a hold of thoughts. The cool air from the fridge nipped at his naked skin and goosepimples broke out across his arms. Taking inventory of the fridge he noticed a few things. The most important was that they really needed to go to the grocery store because their fridge was almost bare. Couple eggs, a green pepper, bacon, milk… Wait the milk was bad. That would explain the foul odor he had picked up on.
“Omelets it is.” He pulled out a pan and set it on the stove. He placed a few strips of bacon in it to get them cooking while he got out a spatula.
Annie peeked in the kitchen, “Do you need any help?”
“You could chop up the pepper.”
Annie got down a cutting board and washed off the pepper. The two tried to maneuver around each other trying not look at or touch the other. Due to the fact they were averting their eyes they bumped into each every several seconds.
“This isn’t working!” Jeff cried.
“I know, it’s like we haven’t seen each other naked before!”
“Right, we should just look at each other. We can look at each other without thinking sexually, right?”
Annie nodded in agreement although her eyes looked unsure, “Right. Jeff?”
“Yes Annie?”
“The bacon is starting to burn.”
Jeff scrambled over to the stove. As he tried to pull the bacon out of the pan, his chest was on the receiving end of several grease drops.
“Ouch! That burns.”
Annie dampened a paper towel and patted Jeff’s chest, trying to ease the burn. The patting quickly turned into a slow caress. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and her eyes darted up to make contact with Jeff’s. Slowly he leaned down to kiss her awaiting lips… but she darted away.
“NO!” Annie screamed as she pressed her bare back against the fridge.
“What the hell Annie?”
“No touching!”
“You touched me first.”
“I was just trying to help heal you because you were hurt.”
“I have something else that hurts.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and gestured towards his pelvis, “Will you kiss it and make it better?”
Annie giggled, “Jeff that was so corny. This means a lot to me, so let’s just try not to touch for the rest of the day okay?”
“Will you finish chopping the pepper then? If I can’t have sex, I’m going to eat my feelings of lust.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The two ate their omelets in silence, eyes occasionally lingering a little too long on certain bits of the other’s anatomy. They soon decided it was in their best interest to have some sort of a distraction.
“Want to play a game?” Jeff offered trying to ease the tension that was surrounding them.
“Like Yahtzee?”
“Do people even still play that anymore?”
Annie shrugged, “I’m sure people do.”
“Well I don’t have dice anymore. Remember Troy swallowed them to make himself better at math?”
“Right, he thought it would help him count by sixes better.”
“Do we have any cards?”
“Pierce was convinced that the Kings were trying to overthrow him as the King of Candyland. He almost set the apartment on fire. I think he got Kings and witches confused.”
“This just proves to me that we should never have our friends come over. Our kids would do less damage to our stuff.”
“Our kids?”
Jeff chuckled nervously, “You know… I mean if we ever had kids. Theoretically.”
“You think about us having kids?”
“What? No… Kids ugh! Let’s watch a movie. I’d vote for Breakfast Club or Super Troopers.”
Annie let out a small sigh of disappointment; he was still not willing to talk about his feelings or their relationship.
“Whichever.”
“Breakfast Club it is.”
The two sat as far as possible from each other on the small couch to decrease the odds of their skin accidently touching. At the scene where Ally Sheedy’s character created her classic sandwich Annie spoke up.
“Troy and Abed tried to make that once. We didn’t have any pixie stix, so they found some dye and colored flour. We also didn’t have any Captain Crunch so they used some round pasta that was in the cupboard.”
“Did you try it?”
“I made myself a normal sandwich with the remaining pieces of bread. Although I was told that it tasted like classic cinema.”
“Who knew classic cinema tasted like uncooked flour and pasta? If I were to give it a taste I would have gone with something like chocolate cake, or pizza.”
“I know right? But those two ate the entire thing.”
“Do you ever think that those two aren’t normal?”
“Like they are aliens from outer space who are trying to take over the world?”
“Exactly. Abed doesn’t have a disorder, he is really just using movies and television shows to better understand our race.”
“If they are… and I’m not saying they are, this is purely conjecture; do you think they are odd on their planet too? Or is that how all of them act?”
“I’d say they are still considered strange. Maybe there planet pawned them off on us because they couldn’t handle the crazy anymore.”
“I like the crazy sometimes.”
“I do too. Keeps things interesting.” The couple turned back to the movie and enjoyed the rest of the Breakfast Club in silence.
__________________________________________________________________________________
In the first few scenes of Super Troopers, Annie’s stomach let out a loud growl.
Her face reddened as she crossed her arms over her stomach. “Guess I’m getting hungry. What are we going to eat?”
“Our cupboards are barer than Mother Hubbard’s.”
“We could order pizza.”
“Yeah, and when you answer the door naked I bet we won’t have to pay.”
“Jeff…” Annie growled warningly.
“I’m not answering the door naked.”
“Well I’m not either.”
“I guess we will just have to starve.”
45 minutes later…
The pizza guy walked down the corridor towards apartment 409. He was hoping he’d get to see the hot brunette that lived there and not the freakishly tall man with the large forehead. He shifted the pizza bag into his left arm and rang the doorbell. As he waited he heard scuffling behind the door, but it never opened.
“Hello, pizza man?” It was the hot brunette’s voice.
“Um… It’s Larry actually.”
“Oh Larry nice to meet you. I have an odd request. I’m going to push you the money out from under the door, and I want you to set the pizza down and walk away.”
“Jimmy Christmas Annie, you are making it sound like a hostage situation.”
“Shut up Jeff, I’m handling it.”
“Um…” Larry shifted uncomfortably as the two voices bickered behind the door. He leaned forward and whispered, “Lady, is everything alright? Do you need help?”
“The only help she needs is for you to leave the pizza and walk away with the cash.”
“Sorry about him, he gets cranky when he is hungry. Thank you everything is fine.”
Larry continued to eye the door as he crouched down to pick up the money that slid from underneath. He removed the pizza and left it in front of the door.
“Thank you, have a nice day.” He travelled down the hall and continued to eye the apartment as he waited for the elevator.
On the other side of the door…
Annie stood on her tip toes looking out the peep hole, “He is waiting for the elevator.”
Jeff made a noncommittal noise as he stared at her lean form that was stretched so she could look out.
“You have a beautiful ass.”
Annie let out a small gasp, “Nothing sexual remember!”
“No you said no touching and no sex. You didn’t specify all sexuality.”
Annie pondered for a moment, “I guess you are right. You have permission to stare at my butt while I see if the pizza guy is gone.”
“How gracious of you.”
Annie wiggled her hips as she turned around causing Jeff to groan.
“That is cruel.”
“Well maybe you should be nicer.”
“I was being nice! That was a compliment! And I didn’t even expect a compliment in return.”
“He is gone!” Annie swung the door open and grabbed the pizza box before kicking the door closed with her foot. “We have food!”
Annie settled on the couch and unfolded a napkin and draped it across her chest.
“No covering up!”
“I’m not covering up. I am protecting myself from burning myself.” At Jeff’s inquiring look she continued, “What if the cheese slides off the pizza and hits my chest? It will burn and hurt.”
“You’d have boob burn.”
Annie frowned, “Yes. I’d have boob burn. And if my boob is burned it won’t want to be touched by large hands.”
“I see.” Jeff unfolded a napkin and draped it over his lap, “I wouldn’t want to burn my penis and deprive small hands from touching it.”
Annie’s face flamed at his use of the p-word.
“I highly doubt you’d burn your… thing.”
“You can never be too careful. If I did get burnt would you blow on it?” Jeff asked as innocently as he could.
Annie ignored him, face still red, and resolutely took bite of pizza.
“Ouch hot!” She cried around a mouthful of pizza, causing Jeff to laugh.
“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Jeff asked while leaning in to her personal space.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes…” She said uncertainly.
“You don’t sound so sure.”
“You can stop trying to seduce me into forgetting the plan. It won’t work.” She said while wetting her dry lips and darting her eyes away from his.
“Won’t it?”
Go to part 2
AN: Sorry I had to break it into two parts to post it here.
Author: AllVowels
Rating: R/M
Spoilers: Through Season 3
Summary: Ficcy Friday prompt by claymay83: Annie and Jeff are together and have had a VERY extended honeymoon phase. Annie starts to fear that as a couple all they have between them is sex and proposes going an entire day where they’re naked together, but act normally and don’t touch each other until midnight.
AN: Sorry it took so long. This is my first attempt at writing something smutty, so be warned.
________________________________________________________________________________
Annie was pressed tightly into Jeff’s side, her leg draped across his midsection on the large king mattress in his tiny apartment. His left arm was pillowing her head and his right hand lazily drew patterns on her thigh. Her hands stroked lovingly over his well toned chest as a sheet lay draped haphazardly over their naked bodies.
‘This is so perfect... Almost too perfect.’ Her mind whispered accusingly.
“Jeff? Are you awake?” She questioned breaking the silence.
“I know I am close to god-like Annie, but I need a few more minutes before we go another round.”
“That’s not why I was asking if you were awake.”
“Oh really?”
“Alright maybe that was part of the reason but I have a question to ask you.”
“Ask away, Emily Bronte.”
“Does this seem wrong to you?”
“I am only human Annie. Maybe if I invested in some Viagra I’d be able to recover faster but…”
“No! Not that. This!” She said gesturing between Jeff and herself. “Us! We have been doing this for months.”
“Annie, are you trying to break up with me? Because if you are, you are going about it completely wrong. No one breaks up face to face anymore; it’s more of a text message sort of thing.”
Annie swatted his chest, “Stop being difficult. What I’m saying is…” She paused struggling for words, “Most couples, you know, get bored with each other after awhile. They are no longer as active in the bedroom.”
“I’d say we are active in other places besides the bedroom.”
Annie glared slightly at him, he was being deliberately obtuse. “My point is we are still humping like rabbits!”
“And this is a problem because?”
“Because!” Annie sat up abruptly causing the sheet to drop. “Because what if we don’t really like each other! We could just be using each other for sex, and one day down the road you think, ‘Hey I would rather sleep with my hot new secretary, see ya later Annie.’ And I am left by the way side while you bang some bimbo on your desk. Jeff, are you even listening to me?”
Jeff’s eyes were affixed on her exposed breasts, “Of course I was. You want to role play as boss and secretary. Sounds sexy. You could come into work one night and we can make good use of my desk. Or better yet, we will sneak into Greendale and use the Dean’s desk.”
His large hands reached forward to cup her ample chest but she batted his hands away.
“Jeff,” She whined slightly while pulling up the sheet, “I wouldn’t feel comfortable in the Dean’s office, he probably has a hidden camera in his office. And you aren’t listening to me, this is a problem.”
Jeff sighed realizing he would not get to indulge in Annie’s body until he reassured her. “I am sorry Annie. I guess I don’t see what the problem is.”
“The problem is… what if we only like each other because the sex is good.”
Jeff pulled Annie towards him making the sheet drop, “The sex isn’t good, it’s amazing. That is the Jeff Winger guarantee. Plus we were friends before we ever started having sex.”
“We weren’t friends because we liked each other. We were friends because you were trying to get in Britta’s pants and use me for notes.” Jeff kissed her forehead before trailing kisses down to her neck. “Stop trying to distract me.”
Jeff muttered into her neck, “That was true at first but then we became actual friends and then we became this.”
Annie frowned; Jeff still had trouble admitting they were in a relationship. He never denied it, but the words girlfriend or dating never came out of his mouth. Jeff felt her tense up at his words and knew he had said something wrong.
“Is there something I can do to prove to you that I just don’t care about sex?”
Annie thought for a moment, before threading her hands into his hair, “Yes I think there is.”
“Good, but can we start it tomorrow?”
Annie closed the gap between their lips and her hand dipped beneath the sheet.
“Alright.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Jeff stretched lazily the next morning, his toes creeping out from the edge of the blanket and dangling over the edge of the bed. He reached over and found the spot next to him empty. He spent several minutes debating if he should get and up search for Annie or go back to sleep. The decision was made for him when Annie entered the room… nude.
Annie wasn’t one to frolic around with nothing on. She had no problem being nude around Jeff in the bedroom, or if they were in the mist of their amorous activities. Once they were done she would usually shrug into his t-shirt or a robe though, so Jeff labeled this behavior as odd.
Puzzled Jeff asked, “What’s going on?”
“Remember you said last night you’d do something to prove that we aren’t just together because the sex is good?”
“I believe the word I used was awesome, but please continue.”
“We are going to spend the whole day together nude.” Jeff’s inner self did a little dance. This was all he had to do? Stare at a beautiful woman naked all day. Piece of cake.
Annie continued, “But we are NOT going to have sex. And no touching.”
Jeff’s inner self paused mid-dougie, no sex and no touching? This may be harder than he initially thought. How does one look at the glorious bounty that is Annie Edison and not touch it?
“I understand why we would refrain from having sex for a day, but why do we have to be naked?”
“By being naked, we will strip away the artificial layers of our relationship and allow our true spirits to mingle together.”
“What a load of bull… tiful ideas.” He tried to correct himself at Annie’s dire look, “You’ve been talking to Britta haven’t you?”
Annie blushed and gave a little shrug, “She was trying to be a good friend and help me with my problem.”
Jeff could only imagine how awkward that conversation was. Britta probably went off for an hour about how closed off and narcissistic he was and then psycho-babbled for another hour about his daddy issues.
“So naked all day but no touching?”
“Yep.”
“None at all?”
“Nada.”
Jeff frowned, he was willing to do the craziest things for this girl.
“Fine. However if you break first I won’t hold it against you. My body is a wonderland.”
Annie beamed at Jeff while bouncing slightly on her toes, glad she had gotten her way, “Okay, we are officially starting now. We will be done at midnight. You don’t like BNL, but will quote John Mayer?”
Jeff eyes darkened as Annie’s chest bounced in her excitement causing him to miss the BNL reference entirely. He threw the blanket off of himself and stalked out of the room. He was going to need a long cold shower to get through this day.
“Where are you going?”
“Shower.”
“Oh. Okay, I’ll be in the living room.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
Jeff walked into the living room running a towel through his hair. Annie was perched awkwardly on the leather couch holding a throw pillow to her chest. When Annie spotted him, her eyes dipped down as she ogled his wet chest. He watched as her eyes intently followed the path of a water droplet on his skin. It ran down from his pectorals, trailed down his abs and crept its way down into his pubic hair.
Jeff cleared his throat and pointed at his face, “Excuse me but my eyes are up here.”
Annie’s wide eyes jerked upward. “Sorry.”
Jeff grinned and ran a hand down his chest, “It’s okay, I’m sexy and I know it. What is with the pillow? If I have to be bare to the world, then so do you.”
Annie reluctantly set the throw pillow next to her before crossing her arms over her chest which pushed them up slightly.
Jeff felt himself stirring slightly at the sight of Annie’s chest again. Somehow not being able to touch Annie made her bare flesh all the more appealing. It was causing him to react like a thirteen year old boy who had found a playboy for the first time and he wasn’t sure he liked it.
“Why don’t I make up something to eat?” He asked while bustling into the kitchen away from his naked girl… Annie. His naked Annie. Cooking would surely take his mind of Annie’s chest, tiny waist, slim thighs…
“Damn it.” He jerked the fridge door open trying to get a hold of thoughts. The cool air from the fridge nipped at his naked skin and goosepimples broke out across his arms. Taking inventory of the fridge he noticed a few things. The most important was that they really needed to go to the grocery store because their fridge was almost bare. Couple eggs, a green pepper, bacon, milk… Wait the milk was bad. That would explain the foul odor he had picked up on.
“Omelets it is.” He pulled out a pan and set it on the stove. He placed a few strips of bacon in it to get them cooking while he got out a spatula.
Annie peeked in the kitchen, “Do you need any help?”
“You could chop up the pepper.”
Annie got down a cutting board and washed off the pepper. The two tried to maneuver around each other trying not look at or touch the other. Due to the fact they were averting their eyes they bumped into each every several seconds.
“This isn’t working!” Jeff cried.
“I know, it’s like we haven’t seen each other naked before!”
“Right, we should just look at each other. We can look at each other without thinking sexually, right?”
Annie nodded in agreement although her eyes looked unsure, “Right. Jeff?”
“Yes Annie?”
“The bacon is starting to burn.”
Jeff scrambled over to the stove. As he tried to pull the bacon out of the pan, his chest was on the receiving end of several grease drops.
“Ouch! That burns.”
Annie dampened a paper towel and patted Jeff’s chest, trying to ease the burn. The patting quickly turned into a slow caress. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and her eyes darted up to make contact with Jeff’s. Slowly he leaned down to kiss her awaiting lips… but she darted away.
“NO!” Annie screamed as she pressed her bare back against the fridge.
“What the hell Annie?”
“No touching!”
“You touched me first.”
“I was just trying to help heal you because you were hurt.”
“I have something else that hurts.” He waggled his eyebrows at her and gestured towards his pelvis, “Will you kiss it and make it better?”
Annie giggled, “Jeff that was so corny. This means a lot to me, so let’s just try not to touch for the rest of the day okay?”
“Will you finish chopping the pepper then? If I can’t have sex, I’m going to eat my feelings of lust.”
__________________________________________________________________________________
The two ate their omelets in silence, eyes occasionally lingering a little too long on certain bits of the other’s anatomy. They soon decided it was in their best interest to have some sort of a distraction.
“Want to play a game?” Jeff offered trying to ease the tension that was surrounding them.
“Like Yahtzee?”
“Do people even still play that anymore?”
Annie shrugged, “I’m sure people do.”
“Well I don’t have dice anymore. Remember Troy swallowed them to make himself better at math?”
“Right, he thought it would help him count by sixes better.”
“Do we have any cards?”
“Pierce was convinced that the Kings were trying to overthrow him as the King of Candyland. He almost set the apartment on fire. I think he got Kings and witches confused.”
“This just proves to me that we should never have our friends come over. Our kids would do less damage to our stuff.”
“Our kids?”
Jeff chuckled nervously, “You know… I mean if we ever had kids. Theoretically.”
“You think about us having kids?”
“What? No… Kids ugh! Let’s watch a movie. I’d vote for Breakfast Club or Super Troopers.”
Annie let out a small sigh of disappointment; he was still not willing to talk about his feelings or their relationship.
“Whichever.”
“Breakfast Club it is.”
The two sat as far as possible from each other on the small couch to decrease the odds of their skin accidently touching. At the scene where Ally Sheedy’s character created her classic sandwich Annie spoke up.
“Troy and Abed tried to make that once. We didn’t have any pixie stix, so they found some dye and colored flour. We also didn’t have any Captain Crunch so they used some round pasta that was in the cupboard.”
“Did you try it?”
“I made myself a normal sandwich with the remaining pieces of bread. Although I was told that it tasted like classic cinema.”
“Who knew classic cinema tasted like uncooked flour and pasta? If I were to give it a taste I would have gone with something like chocolate cake, or pizza.”
“I know right? But those two ate the entire thing.”
“Do you ever think that those two aren’t normal?”
“Like they are aliens from outer space who are trying to take over the world?”
“Exactly. Abed doesn’t have a disorder, he is really just using movies and television shows to better understand our race.”
“If they are… and I’m not saying they are, this is purely conjecture; do you think they are odd on their planet too? Or is that how all of them act?”
“I’d say they are still considered strange. Maybe there planet pawned them off on us because they couldn’t handle the crazy anymore.”
“I like the crazy sometimes.”
“I do too. Keeps things interesting.” The couple turned back to the movie and enjoyed the rest of the Breakfast Club in silence.
__________________________________________________________________________________
In the first few scenes of Super Troopers, Annie’s stomach let out a loud growl.
Her face reddened as she crossed her arms over her stomach. “Guess I’m getting hungry. What are we going to eat?”
“Our cupboards are barer than Mother Hubbard’s.”
“We could order pizza.”
“Yeah, and when you answer the door naked I bet we won’t have to pay.”
“Jeff…” Annie growled warningly.
“I’m not answering the door naked.”
“Well I’m not either.”
“I guess we will just have to starve.”
45 minutes later…
The pizza guy walked down the corridor towards apartment 409. He was hoping he’d get to see the hot brunette that lived there and not the freakishly tall man with the large forehead. He shifted the pizza bag into his left arm and rang the doorbell. As he waited he heard scuffling behind the door, but it never opened.
“Hello, pizza man?” It was the hot brunette’s voice.
“Um… It’s Larry actually.”
“Oh Larry nice to meet you. I have an odd request. I’m going to push you the money out from under the door, and I want you to set the pizza down and walk away.”
“Jimmy Christmas Annie, you are making it sound like a hostage situation.”
“Shut up Jeff, I’m handling it.”
“Um…” Larry shifted uncomfortably as the two voices bickered behind the door. He leaned forward and whispered, “Lady, is everything alright? Do you need help?”
“The only help she needs is for you to leave the pizza and walk away with the cash.”
“Sorry about him, he gets cranky when he is hungry. Thank you everything is fine.”
Larry continued to eye the door as he crouched down to pick up the money that slid from underneath. He removed the pizza and left it in front of the door.
“Thank you, have a nice day.” He travelled down the hall and continued to eye the apartment as he waited for the elevator.
On the other side of the door…
Annie stood on her tip toes looking out the peep hole, “He is waiting for the elevator.”
Jeff made a noncommittal noise as he stared at her lean form that was stretched so she could look out.
“You have a beautiful ass.”
Annie let out a small gasp, “Nothing sexual remember!”
“No you said no touching and no sex. You didn’t specify all sexuality.”
Annie pondered for a moment, “I guess you are right. You have permission to stare at my butt while I see if the pizza guy is gone.”
“How gracious of you.”
Annie wiggled her hips as she turned around causing Jeff to groan.
“That is cruel.”
“Well maybe you should be nicer.”
“I was being nice! That was a compliment! And I didn’t even expect a compliment in return.”
“He is gone!” Annie swung the door open and grabbed the pizza box before kicking the door closed with her foot. “We have food!”
Annie settled on the couch and unfolded a napkin and draped it across her chest.
“No covering up!”
“I’m not covering up. I am protecting myself from burning myself.” At Jeff’s inquiring look she continued, “What if the cheese slides off the pizza and hits my chest? It will burn and hurt.”
“You’d have boob burn.”
Annie frowned, “Yes. I’d have boob burn. And if my boob is burned it won’t want to be touched by large hands.”
“I see.” Jeff unfolded a napkin and draped it over his lap, “I wouldn’t want to burn my penis and deprive small hands from touching it.”
Annie’s face flamed at his use of the p-word.
“I highly doubt you’d burn your… thing.”
“You can never be too careful. If I did get burnt would you blow on it?” Jeff asked as innocently as he could.
Annie ignored him, face still red, and resolutely took bite of pizza.
“Ouch hot!” She cried around a mouthful of pizza, causing Jeff to laugh.
“Do you want me to kiss it better?” Jeff asked while leaning in to her personal space.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes…” She said uncertainly.
“You don’t sound so sure.”
“You can stop trying to seduce me into forgetting the plan. It won’t work.” She said while wetting her dry lips and darting her eyes away from his.
“Won’t it?”
Go to part 2
AN: Sorry I had to break it into two parts to post it here.