9 months of writing: intro
“Hey man, it’s me.” I heard him, I shifted a bit - he doesn’t notice, he’d never notices that I’m awake when he’s around. He sighed loudly, I cringed. My face doesn’t move, I think it still has the same expression on it. I’m not sure. I forgot what he looks like, but I know his voice better than I know my own. “I miss you.” Of course he does, without me around he has nobody to step on.
Nobody to make fun of, nobody to hug or kiss when people aren’t looking -
Like now.
I forgot what he tasted like, peaches, as his lips tentatively brushed against mine. I wished I could just break down and slam myself against him, grab him, see him, fuck him. I wished I had some control over my body. But I don’t. So I sat like a vegetable, slowly dying in this bed. I’ve lost track of the weeks, and the seasons -
But I knew it was Sunday. He only ever visited on Sundays, like a spiritual visit or something. He had his quirks like that, I remember that but not the colour of his beautiful eyes, I wondered if he’s found someone better. I wondered if he just visited because he wants to, or if he feels bad about the accident. I heard the doctors talk about it all the time; he was driving and was in the hospital for awhile, but I was there ever since. I don’t wake up, but my parents refused to take me off life support.
I’m not alive anymore, I can’t see things. I can’t communicate. I can’t do much of anything, I’m gone so gone and then only person I could talk to is myself. And I’m fucking annoying. But he was here, so everything was okay.
Tick, tock sang the clock and it was almost time for him to go. I wanted to yell, and I wanted to cry - but instead he just grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Goodbye,” he whispered, so silently nobody else could hear him. I heard the pain in his voice, and I wanted to scream take me off the life support -
I’d much rather be dead.
Fun fact: Brittnaws can't write unless their hair is up in a sloppy bun. They don't like wearing their hair up, because they think they look like a faggot.
And that was really hard to type.