a face that makes me look back...
i haven't written much lately. and it's not that i haven't wanted to. it just seems like there has been so much going on. my kickboxing match is now 13 days away. i'm nervous, but also very excited. i find myself just slipping my mouthguard in while i'm around the house to get used to breathing with it in.
my workouts this past week have been a little crazy, but incredibly helpful and insightful. limits have been tested. bruises cover a good portion of my arms and ribs at the moment. i have a feeling i came out of thursday's workout with more bruises and aches than i'll have after the fight. i've been continuing to work out even when i'm in pain. i figure if i can make it through the pain from the endometriosis, what happens in the ring'll be cake.
three rounds. each a minute. no winner and no loser. just a good clean fight. my brother's training the other girl though, so he'll be in her corner during the fight. i'm still not sure if my trainer is going to be in my corner, or if he's going to have other things he has to tend to that night.
i have a doctor's appointment this coming friday. i'm not a very supersitious person, but it seems a little f'ed up to have an appointment that you're worried about on friday the thirteenth. *BIG sigh* we'll see what she has to say this time.
i've noticed i don't write as much when my health gets worse. i guess it's one of those things where i've mentioned it enough on here that i don't want people to just have to constantly read about it. i'm sure it bores everyone else just as much as it bores me.
a good friend of mine lost her baby. she was three months pregnant. they went in for the first ultrasound and the baby had no heartbeat. we spent an hour just hugging and crying. she told me she finally realized how scared i must be at the thought of not being able to have my own child. and now she's scared that she might not be able to carry one either. i tried to be strong and tell her that right now is just not the time for either of us. that she and i must be on the same timeline and when it's right, it'll happen. i also told her that in those three months that baby was probably more loved than some people are in their entire life. we're going to make great mothers someday...in my heart i know this.
this might seem like scattered thoughts to some of you, but i know most see the connections. it's past midnight on a sunday and all i want right now is to hug someone. maybe i'll get my hug tomorrow.
my workouts this past week have been a little crazy, but incredibly helpful and insightful. limits have been tested. bruises cover a good portion of my arms and ribs at the moment. i have a feeling i came out of thursday's workout with more bruises and aches than i'll have after the fight. i've been continuing to work out even when i'm in pain. i figure if i can make it through the pain from the endometriosis, what happens in the ring'll be cake.
three rounds. each a minute. no winner and no loser. just a good clean fight. my brother's training the other girl though, so he'll be in her corner during the fight. i'm still not sure if my trainer is going to be in my corner, or if he's going to have other things he has to tend to that night.
i have a doctor's appointment this coming friday. i'm not a very supersitious person, but it seems a little f'ed up to have an appointment that you're worried about on friday the thirteenth. *BIG sigh* we'll see what she has to say this time.
i've noticed i don't write as much when my health gets worse. i guess it's one of those things where i've mentioned it enough on here that i don't want people to just have to constantly read about it. i'm sure it bores everyone else just as much as it bores me.
a good friend of mine lost her baby. she was three months pregnant. they went in for the first ultrasound and the baby had no heartbeat. we spent an hour just hugging and crying. she told me she finally realized how scared i must be at the thought of not being able to have my own child. and now she's scared that she might not be able to carry one either. i tried to be strong and tell her that right now is just not the time for either of us. that she and i must be on the same timeline and when it's right, it'll happen. i also told her that in those three months that baby was probably more loved than some people are in their entire life. we're going to make great mothers someday...in my heart i know this.
this might seem like scattered thoughts to some of you, but i know most see the connections. it's past midnight on a sunday and all i want right now is to hug someone. maybe i'll get my hug tomorrow.