Sherlock Fic: Triptych
Fandom: Sherlock
Wordcount: 684
Beta: the glorious gloria_scott
Originally written for thegameison_sh
Summary: Memories and regrets at the final moment of The Great Game.
Triptych
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
'I imagine that probably my answer has crossed yours .'
“No one wants you, boy.”
”She loves me! I keep her safe!”
“No one wants a child who fights all the time.”
”I fought to keep her safe!”
“You destroy things. You hurt other people.”
”I take care of my sister! I love her!”
“Your sister's new family will love her and take good care of her, child. You won't have to worry about her any more.”
”Don't take her from me! Don't take her away!”
… to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
His aim moved to the vest.
“You're just a kid like me! How do you know all that?”
“I look at things and then I think about them and I figure it out. It's easy.”
“You can't learn everything just by looking and thinking! You have to be taught.”
“I teach myself.”
“Well, if you already know everything, what are you going to do when you grow up?”
“Same as what I'm doing now.”
“What - looking and thinking? That's it?”
“What else is there?”
… Shrieking voices
Scolding, mocking, …
The vest off, but still trapped--
“I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up.”
“I'm going to be a soldier and shoot all the ballerinas. Bang! Bang! Bang-bang-bang!”
“I'll compose new ballets, too. People all over the world will come just to see me.”
“When I'm a soldier I'll go all over the world and shoot all those people. Bang! Bang! Bang!”
“You're so mean! Why do you want to kill everybody?”
“I don't! I'm going to be a doctor and make everyone better again.”
“Silly! You can't be a soldier shooting people and a doctor healing them - that's stupid!”
“No it's not! Yes I can! When I grow up I'll do anything I want!”
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
…
Point to one end, which is always present.
A brief glance to confirm--
He'd never wanted to procreate. He was sufficient unto himself. Like the other instincts of the body, desire for children was a distraction.
Now the thought flashes upon him: When he is gone, who will observe? Who will understand?
Who will know that looking and thinking are enough?
… the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden.
He returned the look with a short nod.
He'd had goals and he'd focussed on them.
He was busy and active. Life proceeded to plan. Well, as much as anyone's does.
He'd always thought there would be time. More time. Enough time.
Time for football and swinging in the garden.
Time for holidays at the shore, building sandcastles, teaching how to swim.
Time for reading at bedtime and tucking-in.
Time for a wife and children and a family.
Looks like he is out of time.
… that which is only living
Can only die.
'Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind. '
He'd worked so hard to be safe. His body still intact, his mind as sharp as ever. His heart burnt out long ago.
Safety was an illusion.
No one was safe, ever. He didn't endanger people; he only ripped away their illusions because he could see the truth beneath. Everyone else is so blind.
He had listened to her gushing, her absurd plans for children “~someday~”. He'd easily caught the image from her - their obvious brown hair, their brown puppy-dog eyes in their pale kittenish faces.
The perfect circle mother father daughter son. Another illusion. Even he could not make that happen, keep it safe. Best not to be fooled. Reveal the lie, now.
With no heart he cannot feel the loss of something that could never be.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Note: Lines in italics only are from T. S. Eliot's Four Quartets
Wordcount: 684
Beta: the glorious gloria_scott
Originally written for thegameison_sh
Summary: Memories and regrets at the final moment of The Great Game.
Triptych
Go, said the bird, for the leaves were full of children,
Hidden excitedly, containing laughter.
'I imagine that probably my answer has crossed yours .'
“No one wants you, boy.”
”She loves me! I keep her safe!”
“No one wants a child who fights all the time.”
”I fought to keep her safe!”
“You destroy things. You hurt other people.”
”I take care of my sister! I love her!”
“Your sister's new family will love her and take good care of her, child. You won't have to worry about her any more.”
”Don't take her from me! Don't take her away!”
… to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
His aim moved to the vest.
“You're just a kid like me! How do you know all that?”
“I look at things and then I think about them and I figure it out. It's easy.”
“You can't learn everything just by looking and thinking! You have to be taught.”
“I teach myself.”
“Well, if you already know everything, what are you going to do when you grow up?”
“Same as what I'm doing now.”
“What - looking and thinking? That's it?”
“What else is there?”
… Shrieking voices
Scolding, mocking, …
The vest off, but still trapped--
“I'm going to be a ballerina when I grow up.”
“I'm going to be a soldier and shoot all the ballerinas. Bang! Bang! Bang-bang-bang!”
“I'll compose new ballets, too. People all over the world will come just to see me.”
“When I'm a soldier I'll go all over the world and shoot all those people. Bang! Bang! Bang!”
“You're so mean! Why do you want to kill everybody?”
“I don't! I'm going to be a doctor and make everyone better again.”
“Silly! You can't be a soldier shooting people and a doctor healing them - that's stupid!”
“No it's not! Yes I can! When I grow up I'll do anything I want!”
Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.
…
Point to one end, which is always present.
A brief glance to confirm--
He'd never wanted to procreate. He was sufficient unto himself. Like the other instincts of the body, desire for children was a distraction.
Now the thought flashes upon him: When he is gone, who will observe? Who will understand?
Who will know that looking and thinking are enough?
… the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden.
He returned the look with a short nod.
He'd had goals and he'd focussed on them.
He was busy and active. Life proceeded to plan. Well, as much as anyone's does.
He'd always thought there would be time. More time. Enough time.
Time for football and swinging in the garden.
Time for holidays at the shore, building sandcastles, teaching how to swim.
Time for reading at bedtime and tucking-in.
Time for a wife and children and a family.
Looks like he is out of time.
… that which is only living
Can only die.
'Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind. '
He'd worked so hard to be safe. His body still intact, his mind as sharp as ever. His heart burnt out long ago.
Safety was an illusion.
No one was safe, ever. He didn't endanger people; he only ripped away their illusions because he could see the truth beneath. Everyone else is so blind.
He had listened to her gushing, her absurd plans for children “~someday~”. He'd easily caught the image from her - their obvious brown hair, their brown puppy-dog eyes in their pale kittenish faces.
The perfect circle mother father daughter son. Another illusion. Even he could not make that happen, keep it safe. Best not to be fooled. Reveal the lie, now.
With no heart he cannot feel the loss of something that could never be.
Go, go, go, said the bird: human kind
Cannot bear very much reality.
Note: Lines in italics only are from T. S. Eliot's Four Quartets