To Die is to Awake (4/?)
Title: To Die is to Awake
Author: music_addict14
Rating: pg-13
Pairing: Zack Merrick/Jack Barakat (past: rian/ zack)
POV: Zack
Summary: Zack needed to live his life. Jack was going to help.
Disclaimer: I do not own the guys! I really hope this never ever happens. Title cred: Million Dollar Houses (The Painter) -pierce the veil
Author Notes: MASTERPOST!
I never realized how awkward and uncomfortable I was until I was sat on a couch at a house I didn’t know. People had long since left me alone. Everyone except Jack. I wasn’t really sure why but he just sat there, mysterious drink in hand. He didn’t really talk to me he just sat a little closer than I would have expected. I could feel the tension but didn’t do anything about it. I could feel his eyes on me and when I looked over at him I must have looked pathetically shy because he rolled his eyes and looked away. “You don’t talk much do you?” I jumped because he talked loud and I just shook my head. Then he just looked at me and rolled his eyes again. “You’re fucking boring! I’m gonna go find someone fun to sit by!” I could tell he was drunk by the way his words slurred but I did take what he said to heart. Maybe I was boring. What had become of me. I used to be the fun person everyone wanted to be by. I guess everything changed after that night. “Hey what are you thinking about?”
“Wh-what?”
“Well you were in a zone.” Alex just looked at me expecting an answer. “Well… Um… Am I boring?” He laughed at how desperate I sounded and I knew the answer. “Well you are just sitting here by yourself.” I knew what he was getting at. I knew he was going to say I should go talk to someone. Little did he know that was a very intimidating concept. He knew everyone here. These were his friends. I was just some stupid new kid. “I was the new kid once too,” he answered me as if he knew what I was thinking, “I came over from England in the eighth grade. You thought you had it hard. Try being the weird kid with an accent.” He smiled and put his arm around me. He had seated himself close to me. He was probably trying to make me feel better. I couldn’t really concentrate on what Alex was saying though. I was focusing on the death glare I was receiving from Jack. He was staring at Alex and I like we were about to pounce on each other. He did not look happy and I got scared. “Why is Jack staring like that?”
“Oh shit. He’s probably really drunk and he gets really jealous when he is drunk.”
“Wait. What?!” I had to laugh a little at the thought of “big tough” Jack being jealous. He always seemed to have this “fuck the world” attitude. “One time he knocked a kid out because I was talking to him. He later told me he didn’t want the kid to be my best friend,” Alex glanced over at Jack. “You might want to act like you aren’t talking to me before he comes over here and hits you.” I looked in the general direction of the drunken boy and saw him stumbling over to where I was seated. “What are you doing talking to my best friend?! You can’t talk to him he’s mine!” Jack was yelling but it was hard to take him seriously because of his current state. “Jack shut up. Stop being a douche- fuck. I can talk to whoever I want.” Alex just seemed to know how to handle the boy. That was good because I had become a shivering mess, as I was worried about getting beat up. “Alex go away. I have to talk to this douche- fuck!” He couldn’t seem to see straight as he tried to point right at me. He didn’t look angry or like he was going to knock me out like Alex said. He looked desperate to get the other boy to leave. Alex complied after stubbornly pouting for a moment. He got up and walked away to talk to someone else. I didn’t miss the ‘don’t hurt him’ as he got up though and I got worried again. “Look you can’t just come here and take all my friends.” Jack’s words were harsh but quite slurred as well, “You’re just a loser and no one ever said you could have friends. Alex doesn’t even like you he just doesn’t know how to be mean like me.” I wanted to believe that it was just the alcohol talking but the way Jack smirked made me question that logic. Once again I found myself wanting to be invisible. How could Jack be so mean. I never did anything to him ever. They were all dicks. Even Alex, if they didn’t like me why didn’t they say anything. I wouldn’t have even bothered if they hadn’t have acted nice. I stood up from my spot on the couch. I flipped Jack the finger as I made my way out of the house. I successfully ignored Alex when he asked where I was going. I just scoffed and pushed my way through. People gave me dirty looks as I walked out the door. Most likely from how rude I was being. “Hey fuck you man.”
“Fuck off!” I was not in the mood for anyone.
When I reached the sidewalk I realized I could probably make my way home without getting lost. I wasn’t actually positive if I really wanted to make it home. I could just walk away. I didn’t need to be here. I could find someplace better to be. In the end I did go home though. I realized I didn’t have anywhere else to go. I despised that fact though.
I ignored any and all calls and texts from Alex. Why the fuck I had given the guy my number was beyond me but I guess that had been before I realized he just pitied me. I stayed in my room for a long time after that. I didn’t want to see anyone. Fuck it I didn’t need to go to school or have friends. It was a waste.
A/N: douche- fuck is my new favorite word combination!