An Empty Heart (Replaced with Paranoia) [22/??] pt. 1
Title: An Empty Heart (Replaced with Paranoia)
Author: Hilly scenery_poetry Jack's part and Mari xandra827 Alex's part
Pair: Jalex Barakarth
Rating: R for language and adult situations
POV: Third person limited
Summary: Jack Barakat and Alex Gaskarth meet one nightat a party thanks to the scheming of their best friends, Rian and Zack. It seems like it's almost love at first sight. The both have their own problems to work out: Alex is ignored by his parents while Jack is struggling to regain self-confidence. As their relationship becomes stronger, the problems of the world seem to melt away.
Disclaimer: This is as real as my epic magical powers, and sadly I have none. :'(
The title belongs to Blink 182 Stockholm Syndrome and the cut belongs to Simple Plan Welcome to My Life.
Warnings: cutting, eating disorders, and eventual boy smex.
Author's Note: Awesome co-write! Posts will be every Tuesday and Thursday.
Previous Chapters:
In this little dubbly-do link thing....
First day of senior year and Jack is wishing to be anywhere else. His schedual is all messed up. He doesn't have a single class with Alex, though his first period is with Rian. There's a
little hope with that. But right now he can only wish Zack was by his side.
Some of Martin's friends have recognized him and Jack had to deal with their not so hushed up whispers. Apparently Martin hasn't told them all what happened. They used to also
ingage in the degration Martin put Jack through when they were dating. So by the time it's lunch, he is feeling quite low and ends up going to the bathroom. He grips the sink and
takes in several deep breaths as he tries to remember everything Alex has ever told him. But nothing seems to sink in far enough. Tears prickle in the corners of his eyes as he tries so hard to gain control. He really wants to believe he's getting better, and forcing himself to throw up would be contradicting that. He ends up biting the inside in his lip, the pain numbing the urge to cry. It helps with the want to empty himself. He finds himself really needing Alex right now, but he's too scared to face people to go and search for him. He pulls out his phone and sends Alex a text.
cant do this. need u.
Jack slips his phone back into his pocket and just waits for a reply. He doesn't have to wait too long before he hears the tone that indicates a new text message. Jack takes his phone back out and looks at the screen. And surely enough it's from Alex.
where r u?
bathroom, math department.
b there soon. <3
Jack closes his eyes and once again takes in several deep breaths. And that's what Alex walks in on. Jack doesn't look up when he feels a pair of arms wrap around him. All of the tension that he has been feeling seems to just melt away at the touch. Jack turns around in Alex's arms and nuzzles into his neck. He takes in Alex's scent, feeling calm and assured at last.
"I love you," Jack whispers.
"I love you too," Alex replies.
"I can't do this, Lex. I tried. I just can't. Everywhere I go, there is someone there to tell me just how pathetic I am. Some guy even had the nerve to tell me to get my fat ass out of the way when I was getting my locker. He must have been five times my size. They don't know nor care just how it effects me."
"Oh baby... I'm so sorry."
"I hate being called that. I get to the point where I start believing that you, Zack, and Rian are right, that I need to get better, and then someone goes and says that vile word and erases everything."
"I know. And I'm sorry I can't be there with you. You don't deserve that, Jack."
Jack's resolve finally cracks. He grips onto Alex as he cries helplessly. Alex's grip tightens his hold, and he starts to rub circles on Jack's back.
"Don't be afraid, I've got your back when times get rough and bring you down..." Alex softly sings in Jack's ear.
Jack recognizes it from a song the four of then have been semi-working on. Jack loves hearing Alex sing. He knows the older boy has an amazing gift that needs to be shared. But when Alex sings to him and only him, it feels as though nothing else matters. Jack pulls away and looks at his boyfriend. He leans forward and kisses him softly.
"I love you, so fucking much," Jack says.
"I love you more," Alex replies with a slight smile.
Jack shakes his head at his boyfriend. "Not possible."
"Is too."
"Nope."
"I think it is."
Jack grins and shakes his head even more. "No, because I love you like a circle. You can't love more than something that is endless."
Alex just smiles and shakes his head. "Well, then I guess we love each other the same."
"I can agree to that."
"Good. Then how about we go bug the hell out of our best friends. I'm sure they are starting to miss us."
Jack nods and grabs a hold of Alex's hand. They walk out of the bathroom like that. Alex leads Jack to where Rian and Zack are eating lunch. They both look up at the same time as
the other two sit down facing them.
"Are you okay, Jack?" Zack asks.
Jack nods. "Now I am. It's just a bit tough being back."
Zack nods in an understanding way. Jack keeps a hold of Alex's hand throughout the remainder of their lunch period, needing the feeling of security the touch gives him. What he would give for it to be just the four of them again. He can already tell this year is either going to push him over the edge for good or he will come back, fully recovered from all the bullshit he's going through.
"So, this weekend I vote we do something fun," Rian says.
"What exactly do you have in mind?" Alex asks.
"Well, Zack and I were thinking possibly something along the lines of a double date," Rian answers. "We're all usually just
hanging out together as four best freinds."
"Are you serious?" Jack asks. "That would be really weird. What would we do?"
"I'm sure we could think of something. But it'll be good for all of us. It wouldn't have to be cliche or anything. Just somewhere away from parents," Zack says.
Jack looks at Alex. He has to agree with Zack. A date night would be nice, especially after how this first week back at school is going."
Alex shrugs. "Sure. It would be something cool to do. Zack and I could think of something since we both have Spanish next period."
Jack looks up at Rian. He hasn't really taken the time to get to know him yet, and if their boyfriends are going to plot together, then he guesses that he might as well take the time to talk with him.
"Alright, but only if Rian and I get to plan something as well," Jack says.
"Sounds fair enough," Zack says with a smile.
The bell rings, signalling the end of lunch. Jack sighs, not wanting this time to end. Three more hours until he is able to relax and cuddle with Alex at home. And not to mention it's
monday and he's already wanting the weekend to hurry up.