Flaws
Title: Flaws
Rating: G
Pairing: Zack/Alex
Summary: Everybody has flaws. It's who accepts and loves them about you that matters
Warnings: arguing, fluff
Disclaimer: I don't own them BUT I'D LOVE IT IF I DID
Author's Notes: So I've been on hiatus for AGES and I got inspired by a song, not to mention my shitty "love"life.
Dedications: passiontothesky, cuz she wouldn't quit bugging me lol
Will hopefully return with a proper fic in a bit.
Alex struggled to sit up, staring blearily at his familiar surroundings. He could hear soft, whuffly breathing coming from his right, where Zack lay still slumbering. Even while asleep he had that presence; he owned everything he touched, every room he entered. Right now, as he slept in Alex's apartment, in Alex's bed (whose mattress springs were poking their owner in the ass as of this very moment), on Alex's sheets, it was as they all belonged to Zack.
Alex heaved a sigh. If they didn't belong to Zack, they certainly didn't belong to him - or at least they wouldn't very soon. Eviction notices printed on that heart-stopping, pale yellow, legal-looking paper littered the bottom of every trashcan in the apartment. Alex had come home yesterday afternoon and found a pink one attached to the door: this was getting serious.
According to the notices given by his landlord, Alex had over $3000 overdue in rent - and every cent was due this Friday. Four days away.
He stood up, letting the covers slowly fall from his slim frame, and watched Zack for a while.
Only two months ago the pair had been bandmates and now...Now they were everything Alex could have ever dreamed of - not that he had been dreaming of becoming anything with Zack.
To make a long story short, Zack had merely replaced Alex's guitar string while practising one day and with one fleeting smile, Alex knew he had to have him.
There was nothing in the fridge, Alex was well aware, as he took up a pair of scissors to cut up the toothpaste tube to force out the last precious blobs. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and almost wanted to throw his toothbrush at his reflection; how could he have let it get so bad he couldn't even afford toothpaste?
That wasn't a rhetorical question; Alex knew exactly how. It was the Nike shoes, his new iPhone, the new BMW in the car park, getting his hair done every two days, the fifth Rolex watch in his collection. And it wasn't as if the band was famous yet; they were still pedalling their asses and driving themselves to their gigs. He simply couldn't afford to pay for the luxuries he'd allowed himself to grow accustomed to, yet he couldn't stop.
Well, he thought cheerily, grinning at himself in the mirror, at least I'm not a Kleptomaniac! Though...at least if I was a Klepto I'd have enough money in my account to pay for my electricity bill.
Because oh yes, Zack didn't know it but the fuse box wasn't broken - the electricity had just been cut off.
Rustling around and heavy footsteps told Alex his lover was emerging from the bedroom and by the sounds of it, joining Alex where he stood.
Like always, Alex's heart began to pound anxiously at the thought of Zack seeing him in his less than perfect state. He quickly rubbed his face, pinched his cheeks, checked his hair and...Oh for the love of Jesus, was that a pimple?
'Hey,' Alex greeted quietly, ducking his head so Zack wouldn't be exposed to such hideousness.
Zack leaned forward, splashing water on his face and Alex's naked torso, making him squeal then turn it into a manly cough. The more muscular man leaned in and kissed his boyfriend gently, before grabbing his toothbrush and eyeing what remained of the paste. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
'Alex?'
The owner of the name looked up sheepishly from fixing his shoes and replied with a meek:
'Yes?"
'There's no food in the fridge. There's no food in the cupboard. Come to think of it, there's no electricity, no hot water and -' SLAM! '-nowhere for us to live as of this Friday.'
Alex fixed his gaze on the pink eviction notice Zack had just banged onto the small dining table because anything, even reading about how homeless he was about to become, was better than facing the disappointed look on Zack's handsome face.
'I was meaning to tell you about that -' he began.
'When? When we were out on the street? When the repo man came and took all our stuff?' Zack had risen out of his chair now. His jaw, Alex could see, was clenched tightly and his hands were fists. 'Why do you never tell me about this kind of shit, Alex?'
'It's none of your business,' Alex bit out.
Zack laughed mirthlessly. 'Yeah, it's none of my business. Except it is if my boyfriend can't even afford toothpaste and won't pay the bills even though he's being threatened with eviction! What the hell happened? We made a load of money off tickets; what did you spend it on?'
'Nothing! I didn't - I didn't spend it on -'
'On the rent? On food? On water? You bet your ass, you didn't!' Zack's eyes widened. 'You spent every single cent on clothes, didn't you?'
'So what if I did?' Alex snapped, 'if you don't like it, you know where the door is! Go ahead. Go find someone who has a bank account with twenty zeroes, gold digger -'
'How can you call me a gold digger if I'm shacked up with you, a complete loser?'
As soon as the last two words left Zack's mouth Alex knew he regretted it, but it was too late. Alex's breath was coming out in shallow pants and his eyes were stinging of their own accord. He felt hot, boiling all over, yet shivers plagued his body. It was like being in high school all over again; picked last for football, failing all his assignments no matter how hard he tried, getting told he'd pump gas for the rest of his life, the cheerleaders chanting that word at him over and over.... Loser. And he'd never change. Being a loser was in his DNA.
'Alex,' Zack began, coming towards the other man. 'Alex, I'm sorry.'
'No,' Alex mumbled carefully. 'You're right; I'm a loser. And you should be with someone else. You deserve better, I've always known that. And now you know it too.'
A tear spilled from his eye, dropping heavily on the kitchen floor right near Zack's foot. Alex closed his eyes and let more cascade down his cheeks, waiting for footsteps to tell him that Zack, the love of his life, was leaving; waiting, waiting...
And they came. Each step was like a knife being pressed into Alex's already punctured, bleeding heart and he wanted to scream out against it but he couldn't find his voice or the words; both were drowning in this damn sea of pain.
Then his heart stopped beating. Just for a fraction of a second, because there were arms around him; strong, firm arms like an anchor to a ship, and lips were pressing kisses to the top of his head while he sobbed.
'You're not a loser, Alex,' Zack whispered as he cradled his boyfriend there in the middle of the kitchen, in the middle of their argument.
'I am,' Alex replied thickly, sniffing and attempting to struggle away.
'You're not.' This time more forcefully. 'So you like to spend money on looking good. And rent is not the most important thing on your mind. And so you'll never be a doctor or a lawyer. And so your jeans may be a little too tight. I don't care; they're your flaws but...they're yours. Which means I love them. I love everything about you.'
'I love you too.'
'I don't doubt it and you shouldn't either, so quit telling me to leave every time we argue. I'm not going to and you know it. I'm in this for the long run.'
Alex didn't reply, just stood there, feeling safe.
'Come on.' Zack nudged his boyfriend. 'Let's go get some breakfast - I'll pay.'
Alex nodded forlornly, reaching for his jacket. Then he stopped: something was distinctly amiss.
'Zack?'
'Yeah, sweetheart?'
'My jeans are not too tight.'