Anonymous S/A
Title: Anonymous
Author: desperate2break
Rating: G
Pairing: Jack Barakat/OMC
Summary: A little heartfelt note from Jack to you...
Warnings: Angst, real pain, sadness...Risk of becoming depressed
Disclaimer: None of this actually happened, and I don't wish it on anyone either
POV: Jack Barakat
Author Notes: This is actually based on a severely personal experience and it's been on my mind for the past 24 hours and it's hurting a lot right now so I guess I should get it all out.
Hey guys, it's Jack here.
I'm in the tourbus right now but I thought maybe I'd check in and say hi cuz well, I have nothing better to do. Alex and Rian say "sup" and Zack doesn't say anything cuz he's working out and all I can hear is grunting. It would be sexual but he sounds like a pig in frustration so I guess not.
Anyway, I just wanted to update you guys on what's been going down since I know it's been a while. For those of you who ordered the new JAGK shirts, I'm sorry they haven't been dispatched but the mail is being a bitch.
I should probably get to the point. This post isn't really about orders and grunting. See, last night...Well, about two weeks ago I went to this club and it was great - the best club I've been to by far, and that's saying something cuz we party hard and all that BS.
So yeah, as I was saying, I had a lot of fun and the alcohol was flowing like the river Nile. Then things got a little rowdy - a fight broke out and of course, Alex was in the middle, trying to fix it cuz he thinks he's Gandhi. So then I got the urge to help out the little peacemaker and I got in but there was this dude - tall and blonde, and I didn't even see his face properly - and he wouldn't let me get involved. I don't know why; but he sorted it out himself and he smiled at me and....I liked it. I really liked it.
Long story short, he kinda disappeared until the end and I hugged him goodbye cuz well, he was awesome to me and then I fucked off back to the bus with the others. And that should've been it. Only it wasn't.
I find myself thinking about him more and more and I wonder if it's right cuz I don't even know him from Adam, but then I get this feeling that maybe he's thinking about me too. It was okay to be obsessed by him the day after and all that shit, expecially as Alex and Rian were giving me grief over not getting his name - and I admit, I deserved it, and I did feel like kicking myself. Hard.
But now it's been just about two weeks and a day and I'm still wondering about him, wondering if he thinks about me at night the way I think about him. I wonder if he listens to our music; I wonder, if so, what his favourite song is. I wonder what his name is, and his favourite colour. I wonder why he didn't stop me from leaving cuz yeah, I didn't look back but he had the opportunity...
Maybe he has a girlfriend or something? Maybe he's straight or maybe he's gay and already in a relationship - or maybe he's kicking himself the way I am now?
I know it sounds completely crazy but I got this feeling that we'll meet again - and it's even crazier cuz I actually believe it. I seriously think that, in my heart, we'll get together someday cuz of the way he smiled at me, the way he held me. You can't just give away a piece of yourself like that. I know I gave him the biggest piece of me; the guys just thought I was "being Jack" cuz that's what "Jack" does - going up to random people and being weird. I wasn't being weird; I was being who I am deep inside and he knew that. He saw me for me, and not the me that everyone knows.
There are songs that I can't listen to anymore cuz they get to me and I have to take a time out and I can't afford to. I can't afford to get attached - everyone in this business knows that: get drunk, get laid, get the fuck out. That's the way it is, but maybe I don't want to do that? I barely even saw him and yet I know for sure, he's It. And fuck, if he is, I hope to hell I get another chance to see him so I can tell him so.
Anyway, I've bored you enough. I'm gonna go see if Alex has chugged the last Mountain Dew and wrestle him if he has.
For those of you have school in the morning, get to bed, and those of you don't, party like there's no such thing as hangovers. You deserve to.
And sorry if I mellowed your high or whatever. I didn't mean to.
JACK.