Life Starts Now - (4 / ?)
Author: alltimeinne
Title: Life Starts Now
Pairing: Lisex, mostly Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of this is real. Pinky promise.
Title credit: Three Days Grace
Summary: Jack had to tell him. He couldn’t keep it a secret anymore, even after all those years. But what are the consequences for the band?
Masterpost
Alex turned up on Jack’s doorstep the next day looking worse for wear; he didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about his appearance nor did it look like he even attempted to change into new clothes after leaving Zack’s place yesterday; bed hair and beer stains didn’t look that good on the guy, Jack idly observed. Alex’s eyes were barely half-open, hazy with sleep and Jack noticed with a slight frown the beer stains visibly dotted along Alex’s shirt collar and along the front of his jumper. Alex apparently did not remember a single thing from the night before, evident in the way he kept blinking too often against the sunlight plus the faint stench of morning breath barely covered up by the mints he was chewing in a vain attempt to hide the smell.
Jack had gestured for him to come inside and they’d both sat on the couch in an uncomfortable two-minute silence before Alex abruptly broke it, asking Jack to tell him, God’s honest truth, if he’d done anything stupid or remotely ridiculous the night before. Jack had told him everything about the karaoke night with Zack, how he’d found out Alex could sing quite well - all the while ignore the burning in his cheeks while making this little confession - how Zack kept dodging to the bathroom every five minutes, and how they’d got wasted and goofed around on the couch for hours afterwards talking about pointless this, pointless that.
However Jack had made sure to leave out the part where they’d made out and cuddled up like horses in a haystack; telling Alex about it would only make things awkward between them, and he knew Alex wouldn’t be too happy about what had happened either - the guy was straight. He had a girlfriend. He was happy. Jack guessed telling Alex about their situation last night would only sabotage their friendship, and there was no way he wanted to risk that. Not what he and Alex had.
When Alex left a few hours later, Jack started thinking about what the next step was. He was already sure of the fact that he’d never tell Alex about his feelings for him, let alone the fact that he was gay, so he figured that he’d just have to go out with girls. If he didn’t, Alex would probably figure something was up. He could almost picture it in his mind.
“Hey Jack, that girl over there keeps starin’ at you. Why don’t you go talk to her? See what she wants?’”
“Huh? Oh, nah. I’m not really into her.”
“-Dude, she’s totally your type. Besides, you always told me you liked blonde girls. Plus she seems like she’d be a laugh, I bet you’d like her.”
“…Yeah.”
“All I’m saying is maybe you should get out more, like, with her. I’ve been trying to tell you that for the past five minutes anyway. Come on. What d’you think?”
-&-
Two days after the incident, Jack had made possibly the worst decision he could ever make in his life. Okay, maybe that being was a tad dramatic, but he became reckless when he was confused and frustrated and couldn’t even rely on his best friend for help, seeing as said friend had become the object of his affections. Jack had decided to put his feelings for his best friend, his only friend, aside. He couldn’t risk losing the other boy and maybe, if there was a god who really gave a fuck about him, these emotions would eventually fade away after a certain period of time. But looking back on it now, clearly they hadn’t.
For six full years, he’d been putting on a show. He’d been pretending to be someone who he clearly wasn’t, all because he was afraid, afraid that he’d scare the other boy away, and no way in hell would he let that happen. If Alex left him, that would be the end of it. He wouldn’t have anyone left. It would be his suicide note of sorts. Stupid, but honestly, he had no one to turn to. In other words, someone who wasn’t Alex, and not even Alex could help him now.
The once insecure, evasive Jack who listened to his Blink-182 CDs on loop every night before bed had disappeared for sure. Now, he’d carved himself into a new personality, becoming the class-clown, goofing off and fooling around all the time, no time for settling down and having DMCs or existential crises. Ironically, Jack had become a joke. Alex never even seemed to notice the change in Jack’s behaviour, funnily enough. Maybe there was a slight chance that he did though, but Jack knew that even if he did, he’d have brushed it off without a second thought. It was all for the sake of the band, their band. Speaking of which, their band had taken a turn for the best and fortune favoured them; it wasn’t just playing in local pubs and clubs anymore, no - hell, they’d played fucking Warped last year.
And it wasn’t just Warped, it was the world. They were famous, and it had taken a lot from Jack to come to terms with this new-found fame. A few months after he’d found out that Alex could sing, Alex’s aquaintance Zack, who they’d spent the horrible karaoke night with, offered to join their little band to play bass. He’d then explained to both of them that a friend of his, Rian, could join, play the drums, and if all turned out well, they could start playing in clubs or something.
That was where it all had started; they were soon discovered by the record company Hopeless Records, signed a deal and after many gruelling hours of beer pong and working their asses off, a few albums followed suit.
Jack honestly couldn’t ask for more at this point in life, really. He played in a band with three guys that he could actually call his friends, and they were close to releasing their fifth album ‘Dirty Work’ now. But of course, no matter the number of good things he could count on one hand, life always had an unpleasant edge, and sadly enough that ‘unpleasant edge’ had become his ‘best’ friend Alex.
After Zack and Rian joined the band, both of the boys became more distant. Zack and Rian obviously weren’t the cause of this, not at all, their so-called ‘band’ was. After Jack and Alex both graduated, they decided to go further with their music, leaving the idea of nine-to-five jobs and picket-fenced houses far behind them.
The band being the cause of their ever-growing distance didn’t make Jack the happiest person on earth though. Alex was so consumed by the idea of creating music that hardly anything he said nowadays didn’t have anything to do with the damn subject. Their friendship was dwindling, despite the fact that they saw each other all the time and spoke at rehearsals, which took up about 80 per cent of their time.
Sure, Jack wasn’t okay with this at all, but there wasn’t anything more he could do about the situation. They’d both made a choice in keeping silent about whatever it was between them, and both boys prioritised music above their close friendship and it just seemed stupid to step down from that ledge now. Jack simply wanted Alex to himself at times, but the idea wasn’t something he could just bring up with the guy, nor could he muster up the courage to acknowledge everything that had happened over the past few years.
But he knew it couldn’t ever happen. After they’d started the band and got signed by Hopeless, Jack had changed. He never told Alex about how he felt towards him, let alone the fact that he was gay, started acting the way he guessed most would expect a teenage boy to act. He became obsessed with girls, food, sex jokes. Made obscure pop culture references non-stop. It was insane.
Jack probably already had an impressing number of one-night stands to count, so it was quite understandable that he couldn’t settle down and grab himself a girlfriend right now. Everything that could even insinuate his preference for the same gender had to disappear; he had to convince everyone, and especially Alex, that he loved girls, got himself off to them, thought about them constantly, even if that meant he had to fuck over almost every single female in the nearest vicinity of their tour bus. Alex on kept his relationship with Lisa going all through the years though. The thought made Jack flinch a little, knowing that was the official proof of Alex being fucking straight and the proof of there being no chance he could even let Alex question his own sexuality, stubborn as he was.
So no, coming out to his best friend, or even to anyone, wasn’t a good idea.
Until now.
____________________________________________________________________________________
A/N:So hey guess what new update! I know its been four months, dont yell at me, Ive been suffering from a pain in the ass writer's block plus schools taking its toll so yeah blah blah. Heres a new chapter. Im giving all credit to Chantelle for this one because she made it so damn fantastic. Seriously. Oh, and I also dont know whats wrong with my chapters, half of them are like 1500 words and the other half a mere 500. In case you hadnt noticed. Thats weird.
Title: Life Starts Now
Pairing: Lisex, mostly Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: None of this is real. Pinky promise.
Title credit: Three Days Grace
Summary: Jack had to tell him. He couldn’t keep it a secret anymore, even after all those years. But what are the consequences for the band?
Masterpost
Alex turned up on Jack’s doorstep the next day looking worse for wear; he didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about his appearance nor did it look like he even attempted to change into new clothes after leaving Zack’s place yesterday; bed hair and beer stains didn’t look that good on the guy, Jack idly observed. Alex’s eyes were barely half-open, hazy with sleep and Jack noticed with a slight frown the beer stains visibly dotted along Alex’s shirt collar and along the front of his jumper. Alex apparently did not remember a single thing from the night before, evident in the way he kept blinking too often against the sunlight plus the faint stench of morning breath barely covered up by the mints he was chewing in a vain attempt to hide the smell.
Jack had gestured for him to come inside and they’d both sat on the couch in an uncomfortable two-minute silence before Alex abruptly broke it, asking Jack to tell him, God’s honest truth, if he’d done anything stupid or remotely ridiculous the night before. Jack had told him everything about the karaoke night with Zack, how he’d found out Alex could sing quite well - all the while ignore the burning in his cheeks while making this little confession - how Zack kept dodging to the bathroom every five minutes, and how they’d got wasted and goofed around on the couch for hours afterwards talking about pointless this, pointless that.
However Jack had made sure to leave out the part where they’d made out and cuddled up like horses in a haystack; telling Alex about it would only make things awkward between them, and he knew Alex wouldn’t be too happy about what had happened either - the guy was straight. He had a girlfriend. He was happy. Jack guessed telling Alex about their situation last night would only sabotage their friendship, and there was no way he wanted to risk that. Not what he and Alex had.
When Alex left a few hours later, Jack started thinking about what the next step was. He was already sure of the fact that he’d never tell Alex about his feelings for him, let alone the fact that he was gay, so he figured that he’d just have to go out with girls. If he didn’t, Alex would probably figure something was up. He could almost picture it in his mind.
“Hey Jack, that girl over there keeps starin’ at you. Why don’t you go talk to her? See what she wants?’”
“Huh? Oh, nah. I’m not really into her.”
“-Dude, she’s totally your type. Besides, you always told me you liked blonde girls. Plus she seems like she’d be a laugh, I bet you’d like her.”
“…Yeah.”
“All I’m saying is maybe you should get out more, like, with her. I’ve been trying to tell you that for the past five minutes anyway. Come on. What d’you think?”
-&-
Two days after the incident, Jack had made possibly the worst decision he could ever make in his life. Okay, maybe that being was a tad dramatic, but he became reckless when he was confused and frustrated and couldn’t even rely on his best friend for help, seeing as said friend had become the object of his affections. Jack had decided to put his feelings for his best friend, his only friend, aside. He couldn’t risk losing the other boy and maybe, if there was a god who really gave a fuck about him, these emotions would eventually fade away after a certain period of time. But looking back on it now, clearly they hadn’t.
For six full years, he’d been putting on a show. He’d been pretending to be someone who he clearly wasn’t, all because he was afraid, afraid that he’d scare the other boy away, and no way in hell would he let that happen. If Alex left him, that would be the end of it. He wouldn’t have anyone left. It would be his suicide note of sorts. Stupid, but honestly, he had no one to turn to. In other words, someone who wasn’t Alex, and not even Alex could help him now.
The once insecure, evasive Jack who listened to his Blink-182 CDs on loop every night before bed had disappeared for sure. Now, he’d carved himself into a new personality, becoming the class-clown, goofing off and fooling around all the time, no time for settling down and having DMCs or existential crises. Ironically, Jack had become a joke. Alex never even seemed to notice the change in Jack’s behaviour, funnily enough. Maybe there was a slight chance that he did though, but Jack knew that even if he did, he’d have brushed it off without a second thought. It was all for the sake of the band, their band. Speaking of which, their band had taken a turn for the best and fortune favoured them; it wasn’t just playing in local pubs and clubs anymore, no - hell, they’d played fucking Warped last year.
And it wasn’t just Warped, it was the world. They were famous, and it had taken a lot from Jack to come to terms with this new-found fame. A few months after he’d found out that Alex could sing, Alex’s aquaintance Zack, who they’d spent the horrible karaoke night with, offered to join their little band to play bass. He’d then explained to both of them that a friend of his, Rian, could join, play the drums, and if all turned out well, they could start playing in clubs or something.
That was where it all had started; they were soon discovered by the record company Hopeless Records, signed a deal and after many gruelling hours of beer pong and working their asses off, a few albums followed suit.
Jack honestly couldn’t ask for more at this point in life, really. He played in a band with three guys that he could actually call his friends, and they were close to releasing their fifth album ‘Dirty Work’ now. But of course, no matter the number of good things he could count on one hand, life always had an unpleasant edge, and sadly enough that ‘unpleasant edge’ had become his ‘best’ friend Alex.
After Zack and Rian joined the band, both of the boys became more distant. Zack and Rian obviously weren’t the cause of this, not at all, their so-called ‘band’ was. After Jack and Alex both graduated, they decided to go further with their music, leaving the idea of nine-to-five jobs and picket-fenced houses far behind them.
The band being the cause of their ever-growing distance didn’t make Jack the happiest person on earth though. Alex was so consumed by the idea of creating music that hardly anything he said nowadays didn’t have anything to do with the damn subject. Their friendship was dwindling, despite the fact that they saw each other all the time and spoke at rehearsals, which took up about 80 per cent of their time.
Sure, Jack wasn’t okay with this at all, but there wasn’t anything more he could do about the situation. They’d both made a choice in keeping silent about whatever it was between them, and both boys prioritised music above their close friendship and it just seemed stupid to step down from that ledge now. Jack simply wanted Alex to himself at times, but the idea wasn’t something he could just bring up with the guy, nor could he muster up the courage to acknowledge everything that had happened over the past few years.
But he knew it couldn’t ever happen. After they’d started the band and got signed by Hopeless, Jack had changed. He never told Alex about how he felt towards him, let alone the fact that he was gay, started acting the way he guessed most would expect a teenage boy to act. He became obsessed with girls, food, sex jokes. Made obscure pop culture references non-stop. It was insane.
Jack probably already had an impressing number of one-night stands to count, so it was quite understandable that he couldn’t settle down and grab himself a girlfriend right now. Everything that could even insinuate his preference for the same gender had to disappear; he had to convince everyone, and especially Alex, that he loved girls, got himself off to them, thought about them constantly, even if that meant he had to fuck over almost every single female in the nearest vicinity of their tour bus. Alex on kept his relationship with Lisa going all through the years though. The thought made Jack flinch a little, knowing that was the official proof of Alex being fucking straight and the proof of there being no chance he could even let Alex question his own sexuality, stubborn as he was.
So no, coming out to his best friend, or even to anyone, wasn’t a good idea.
Until now.
____________________________________________________________________________________
A/N:So hey guess what new update! I know its been four months, dont yell at me, Ive been suffering from a pain in the ass writer's block plus schools taking its toll so yeah blah blah. Heres a new chapter. Im giving all credit to Chantelle for this one because she made it so damn fantastic. Seriously. Oh, and I also dont know whats wrong with my chapters, half of them are like 1500 words and the other half a mere 500. In case you hadnt noticed. Thats weird.