I'll Live For You Because You Died For Me - 1/4
Title: I'll Live For You Because You Died For Me - 1/4
Author: Myself, earthtocleo, and the fantastic willowbarakitty.
Rating: NC-17 overall, but this chapter is PG-13
Pairing: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth
Summary: Jack is left shattered after his first true love contracts a fatal disease and passes away. But is he really gone forever?
Warnings: Talk of death. Cursing.
Disclaimer: If we owned them, do you really think we'd be writing stories?! Title credit to... well, some girl who had it tattooed across her clavicle.
Dedications: pwnedjalex because she wrote a very similar story and I just thought it'd be nice. :-)
A/N: Eeeeep, this is mine & Willow's new story! Caitlin, or earthtocleo, here. It was initially my idea for this type of story, but Willow has added to it all fantastically and I want you all to take a small moment out of your lives to thank her for that. Oh, and, on an apologetic note; if you want to read the masterpost, it'll be on my journal, but it's f-lcoked. Just comment on my Friends Only post, and I'll add you. Hope you like it! <3
Masterpost
Jack's heart was in pieces.
He was broken, frail, so fucking fragile. You couldn't approach him and say hi anymore, or hug him or laugh with him. His face would be blank; expressionless.
He didn't talk, either. He refused. Well for about a month anyway. Flyzik forced him too. He didn't want to. Stupid band management.
Jack was now in a relationship with a woman, a fucking woman. A woman he didn't love. That was Flyzik's fault again. He had said that Jack needed someone in his life, someone special. Someone who could regain that missing twinkle in his eyes.
Stacey couldn't do that. How could she? The only person, the only man Jack had ever loved was no longer on this fucking planet. The only man who could make him truly happy.
He had to put on a happy face every damn day because he was never that same quirky, insane, fun-loving person. He could never be that person again.
Sure, he'd thought about killing hisself. But he could imagine his lovers ghostly face right now; scolding him.
Jack was now living a lie.
He was engaged to a woman he didn't love.
He was in a band which had lost it's spark.
Worst of all, he was missing the man who died of cancer six months ago; Alexander William Gaskarth.
~*~
Jack wakes up to the sound of the TV from the living room and he groans, because he really wishes he could wake up and he would be there instead of that blond Barbie that Flzyik had thrown upon him as he apparently looked ‘lonely’. He had admittedly been annoyed at that because he was meant to be lonely as his best friend had just fucking died of cancer.
He rolls from the over-heated bed and groans, one hand combing his fingers through his bed hair… he remembered always waking up to Alex snuggled into his side, how Alex would say he loved Jack’s hair looking God awful, Jack missed it so much.
“I miss you…” he mumbled to himself before getting up from the bed and sloppily walking out of the room, boxers hung low on his prominent hips whilst a hand absent scratches his stubble.
“Jacky!” comes the too-high-pitched squeal from the kitchen, he rolls his eyes slightly but plasters a fake smile onto his lips.
“Stacey…” he says trying to sound excited as he sits on the counter, hands clicking on the kettle so he could make a coffee to wake him-self up… or put him to sleep for a very long time.
The big breasted blond is bounding towards him a big grin on her face as she smashes their lips together in a ‘good’ morning kiss. He presses his lips back a little before scrunching his face up and pulling back- now turning all his attention to the kettle that was now steaming. His long fingers pour the hot water into the mug that is already filled with instant coffee.
“Wedding planners coming over today!” the blond giggles as she goes over to flip an attempt at a pancake on the stove.
He rolls his eyes a little before pushing his bangs from his eyes with a frown, “Mhpmh…” he grumbles as he sips on the black coffee that was steaming into his face, clouding his vision the slightest as he looks to his fiancé with that blank look.
“Why are you never excited about anything we do together!?” she exclaims turning to him holding a large wooden spoon in her hands, scowl on her make-up slathered face.
“Because I’m just not, okay?! Alex fucking died! You expect me to be dancing around the apartment in a mankini whilst slathering you in shit you just chuck away?!” he snaps, voice cracking as he yells, tears stinging his brown eyes.
The blond scowls at him and just shakes her head softly before continuing with the cooking she had been working on.
He runs back to their room with tears cascading down his cheeks; his hands slam the door shut as he just lets the tears cascade his sunken cheeks. His hands grab towards the leather covered notebook Alex had given to him for a Christmas present the year earlier.
His hands scribble down crazily the angry and sad words that came to his brain; it was going to be Alex’s song… he would sing it and play the guitar for it and it would mean as much as Lullabies does.
~*~
"So, um, what did you think?" asks the Lebanese boy, he swore he felt arms wrapping around his waist as he spoke; but he brushed it off as an illusion.
Jack was sitting on a stool in front of an arc of people that consisted of Zack, Rian, Flyzik, Danny, Vinny, Evan, Jeff and Ian. His guitar was placed delicately on his lap, arms wrapped around it protectively, as, it actually wasn't his guitar; it was Alex's. He'd just poured his heart out via song to all the people he cared about, apart from that one beautiful man.
Little did he know that he was there too.
"Dude, it's fantastic!" Rian exclaimed, pupils blown wide. He'd never seen Jack let out so many emotions in a performance. This was sure to be a hit.
"What's it called?" Zack asked, smile evident on his face.
"Down Goes Another One. It's, uh, about Alex," the Lebanese man replied, lip caught between his teeth as he looked down at his shoes.
Matt stood quickly, and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him into his side.
"It's okay, Jacko. We all miss him."
Jack agreed, nodding his head slightly, but it didn't stop that harsh feeling of immense pain flooding through him. His heart constricted, and a dry heave crossed with a sob ripped through his throat.
He just wanted Alex.
~*~
When Jack went back to his house, he didn’t want to see his busty fiancée; he didn’t want to hear her whiny voice; he didn’t want to see anyone if they weren’t called Alexander William Gaskarth.
So basically, he planned on ignoring anyone who spoke to him.
He walked into the messy house with a frown on his face, he kicks off his Chucks so they land somewhere in the hall. He pushes a hand lazily through his jelled hair before letting out a sigh and walking up the steep stairs to his own little room; the attic.
As he gets to the attic he can hear the loud squeal of Stacey; she bounds from their room and clasps her boney arms around his neck and forces him into an awkward hug that Jack fucking hated.
“Oh, Jacky! I’m so sorry,” she whines as she pulls back and looks through her long blond bangs towards Jack- pout jutting on her bottom lip.
The pout does nothing for Jack- the only pout and puppy dog eyes that had every worked on him was Alex’s because it was so gorgeous and adorable.
“Please forgive me?” she begs a little more- hoping to get laid in a matter of minutes.
‘Fuck off’ he wants to scream. But he just nods his head slightly and walks up the stairs to the attic where he sits down on the bed he set up in there.
-★-★-★-★-★-★-★-★-★-★-★-
A/N: so, hi again. if you want to check out the song that was mentioned, it's Down Goes Another One by McFly. fantastic song, though it is rather depressing. hope you like our story so far!
Songs not bongs, brah. Peace.