Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (5/?)
Title: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Chapter Five)
Author: hihunter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex (Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth)
Summary: There isn’t a reason for it, I can’t point my finger on why it consumes my brain every second.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone...
Warning: Deals with OCD, obviously.
Author's Notes: I finally finished this. Sorry for the huge delay, I wasn’t writing for like a week. Things just aren’t okay right now.
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The doorbell rang at about two o’ clock and that was different. No one usually comes over on Saturday and if they do, my mom will have forewarned me. She knows I hate surprises, she knows it.
I didn’t move at all from the spot where I was sitting in my desk chair and instead I just perked my head up and listened hard for whoever was there.
I heard my mom greet the guest as if they were a stranger so I was getting more and more curious as to who to who it was.
“I’m actually here to see Alex, Mrs. Gaskarth. We’re partners in a school project and we were going to work on it today,” a kind of familiar voice said. It’s not like I had his voice memorized, but I had heard him enough to know it.
What was Jack doing here? We don’t have to work on a project, that’s a lie from him. I didn’t invite him, this was not planned at all.
This was a surprise.
I froze where I was and heard my mother tell him to go on up the stairs to my room.
I heard his footsteps coming up and I braced myself for when he opened the door. What did he want? What was I even supposed to say to him? I’d been avoiding him nicely, again, for the past couple of days and he was going to ruin that for me. I was not a freak, but to him I most likely was.
The door creaked open and he walked in slowly. “Alex?”
I stuttered and turned in my chair. “Uh, h-hey, Jack. What ar-are you doing here?” I asked, trying to not freak out. Deep breath, deep breath. He wasn’t going to do anything to me, he wouldn’t screw this up for me, would he? “Do you nee-need something?”
He sighed and moved more into my room, closing the door. He sat down nervously on the carpet and looked at me. “Not really, I just wanted to talk, see if you were doing anything. Maybe we can just hang out?”
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him skeptically. To tell you the truth, he looked like he was about to piss himself. He looked really freaked out and his eyes were some what hysteric. Why would he want to hang out? I shrugged it off though and replied, “Sure.” Last week, that word wouldn’t have come out of my mouth. For anything- anyone.
Almost a whole hour later I finally had to speak up. I was having fun, and I’m almost positive that he was too, and this was a nice different for a change. We were laying around and talking about music and our lives in a petty fashion; specifically leaving out the demons, save those for later, right? But one thing was bothering me and it needed to be addressed, because he looked like he was biting his tongue from saying something.
“Why did you come, Jack?” I asked, interrupting what he was saying about having an older sister and brother. It was bothering me, getting under my skin like a spider was under there begging for a way out.
He looked taken aback, mouth going slack. “I-I just wanted to get to know you, nothing else really,” he said, resting his head against the wall since he was still on the floor. I’m almost positive he was too scared to go anywhere else because I had freaked out at him for everything else.
Bluntly, I replied, “Bullshit.” I crossed my arms and shifted in where I was sitting in the computer chair still.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I want to know. I have a right to know, Alex.”
I nodded, decided that I could do this. Tell him some things, definitely not all of it. Remember to breath though, I need to stay alive. “I have, uh-I have obsessive compulsive disorder,” I said, not looking at him when I said it, but peeking up at him after I spit it out.
He gave me a soft smile. “Is it bad to say that I guessed that?”
I shook my head ‘no’. “I actually figured you knew something was wrong. I mean how could you not?”
He didn’t say anything, instead just keeping the smile present on his face.
“But, I need you to never take anything I do to you personally,” I said a bit more serious then the past tone. I started clicking my fingers together. “I will never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I’ve only told so many people about what I have, but sometimes they just don’t understand and they take everything to heart. I can’t touch you, I can’t let you touch me, especially not my things. Please don’t leave now, I just started to get to know you. I feel like I have a friend.”
He didn’t say anything for awhile and for a second I thought he was just never going to reply before he said, “I understand that. Believe me, I know what issues are.”
I cocked my head to the side and expected him to say more.
“I have some, how do I put this nicely, family issues,” he said, laughing sarcastically and shaking his head. “Last year I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when I had a major panic attack during the SAT. My dad thinks I’m a freak, something he’s ashamed of. I’m a joke in my family, I know what it feels like to not have anyone there.”
“So we’re both screwed up?” I asked him, only slightly joking.
“No doubt.”
Author: hihunter
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jalex (Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth)
Summary: There isn’t a reason for it, I can’t point my finger on why it consumes my brain every second.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone...
Warning: Deals with OCD, obviously.
Author's Notes: I finally finished this. Sorry for the huge delay, I wasn’t writing for like a week. Things just aren’t okay right now.
Masterpost
Tumblr
The doorbell rang at about two o’ clock and that was different. No one usually comes over on Saturday and if they do, my mom will have forewarned me. She knows I hate surprises, she knows it.
I didn’t move at all from the spot where I was sitting in my desk chair and instead I just perked my head up and listened hard for whoever was there.
I heard my mom greet the guest as if they were a stranger so I was getting more and more curious as to who to who it was.
“I’m actually here to see Alex, Mrs. Gaskarth. We’re partners in a school project and we were going to work on it today,” a kind of familiar voice said. It’s not like I had his voice memorized, but I had heard him enough to know it.
What was Jack doing here? We don’t have to work on a project, that’s a lie from him. I didn’t invite him, this was not planned at all.
This was a surprise.
I froze where I was and heard my mother tell him to go on up the stairs to my room.
I heard his footsteps coming up and I braced myself for when he opened the door. What did he want? What was I even supposed to say to him? I’d been avoiding him nicely, again, for the past couple of days and he was going to ruin that for me. I was not a freak, but to him I most likely was.
The door creaked open and he walked in slowly. “Alex?”
I stuttered and turned in my chair. “Uh, h-hey, Jack. What ar-are you doing here?” I asked, trying to not freak out. Deep breath, deep breath. He wasn’t going to do anything to me, he wouldn’t screw this up for me, would he? “Do you nee-need something?”
He sighed and moved more into my room, closing the door. He sat down nervously on the carpet and looked at me. “Not really, I just wanted to talk, see if you were doing anything. Maybe we can just hang out?”
I furrowed my eyebrows and looked at him skeptically. To tell you the truth, he looked like he was about to piss himself. He looked really freaked out and his eyes were some what hysteric. Why would he want to hang out? I shrugged it off though and replied, “Sure.” Last week, that word wouldn’t have come out of my mouth. For anything- anyone.
Almost a whole hour later I finally had to speak up. I was having fun, and I’m almost positive that he was too, and this was a nice different for a change. We were laying around and talking about music and our lives in a petty fashion; specifically leaving out the demons, save those for later, right? But one thing was bothering me and it needed to be addressed, because he looked like he was biting his tongue from saying something.
“Why did you come, Jack?” I asked, interrupting what he was saying about having an older sister and brother. It was bothering me, getting under my skin like a spider was under there begging for a way out.
He looked taken aback, mouth going slack. “I-I just wanted to get to know you, nothing else really,” he said, resting his head against the wall since he was still on the floor. I’m almost positive he was too scared to go anywhere else because I had freaked out at him for everything else.
Bluntly, I replied, “Bullshit.” I crossed my arms and shifted in where I was sitting in the computer chair still.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “I want to know. I have a right to know, Alex.”
I nodded, decided that I could do this. Tell him some things, definitely not all of it. Remember to breath though, I need to stay alive. “I have, uh-I have obsessive compulsive disorder,” I said, not looking at him when I said it, but peeking up at him after I spit it out.
He gave me a soft smile. “Is it bad to say that I guessed that?”
I shook my head ‘no’. “I actually figured you knew something was wrong. I mean how could you not?”
He didn’t say anything, instead just keeping the smile present on his face.
“But, I need you to never take anything I do to you personally,” I said a bit more serious then the past tone. I started clicking my fingers together. “I will never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I’ve only told so many people about what I have, but sometimes they just don’t understand and they take everything to heart. I can’t touch you, I can’t let you touch me, especially not my things. Please don’t leave now, I just started to get to know you. I feel like I have a friend.”
He didn’t say anything for awhile and for a second I thought he was just never going to reply before he said, “I understand that. Believe me, I know what issues are.”
I cocked my head to the side and expected him to say more.
“I have some, how do I put this nicely, family issues,” he said, laughing sarcastically and shaking his head. “Last year I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder when I had a major panic attack during the SAT. My dad thinks I’m a freak, something he’s ashamed of. I’m a joke in my family, I know what it feels like to not have anyone there.”
“So we’re both screwed up?” I asked him, only slightly joking.
“No doubt.”