Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous (Twenty-Six)
Title: Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous
Author: Amber
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
P.O.V.: Jack
Summary: Best friends Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat tell each other everything. At least, Alex thought they told each other everything. Jack has a secret, well three actually; 1. Jack is gay. 2. He is in love with his best friend. 3. He cuts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
turnthepageover.livejournal.com/15881.html - Masterpost. I fail at links. So that's the best I can do.
I listened as my mother cried on the other end of the phone, and my own tears were spilling from my eyes. As soon as I was released from the hospital Matt took me back to the venue and made me call her. I locked myself in the bathroom of the venue, and I tried to explain to her why I tried to kill myself, leaving out the part about me almost raping Alex. Listening to her cry was hard. I love my mom, and having her so upset with me was killing me even worse then when I tried to do it myself.
"Why would you do that, Jack!? There is no reason for that! Nothing could have been that bad!" she sobbed.
"I'm sorry, mom, I'm so sorry," I cried, sitting in the corner of the bathroom. I pulled my legs as close as I could to me, as I cried.
"Don't you ever do that again!" she yelled. I heard my sister, May, in the background asking why my mom was crying, and that made things worse. My mom started telling May everything as I sat there and cried.
"Jack, what did you do!?" May said, obviously taking the phone from our mom.
"I'm sorry, May," I said.
"Why?!"
"Don't tell mom," I whispered.
"I won't. Tell me why?" she said, softening her voice a bit.
"I almost raped Alex," I said quietly, wiping my eyes with my hoodie.
"Why would you...?" she started, before trailing off.
"I'm in love with him," I choked out, "I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him."
"Woah, Jack if that's true then that means," she started before I interrupted her.
"I'm gay."
"Woah."
"May, please don't tell mom."
"I won't, but you'll have to tell her sometime."
"I know, I just don't want her to hate me."
"She isn't going to hate you."
"How do you know?" I asked, "How do you know that she won't disown me and throw me out on to the street."
"She would never do that. You know mom, you know she will still love you when you tell her."
"I guess," I sighed.
"She will. Jack, you need to tell her."
"Okay," I sighed again, "I'll tell her when we get back from tour."
"Alright, well I'm going to go take care of mom. Be good and don't pull this shit again," May said.
"Okay. Bye May, I love you."
"Love you too, Jacky," she said before hanging up. I slowly got up from my spot off the floor, and walked out of the bathroom. I wiped my eyes and walked toward the front of the bus where Matt and Alex were sitting. They both looked up at me concerned but I shook my head.
"I fucking hate you, Flyzik," I said, before leaving and going out to the van to be alone.
When I got to the van, I curled up on the seat that I usually share with Alex, and closed my eyes before putting in my headphones and turning them on full blast. I wanted to drown out the world just for a little bit, at least long enough for me to calm down. The music worked, and it was also successful in making me fall asleep.
---
I woke up with my headphones being pulled out of my ears. Looking up I found the culprit, Alex. He smiled down at me, which I found odd. Why was he smiling at me. Wasn't he still mad about me almost raping him. He should hate me.
"Hey," he said softly.
"Hi," I replied.
"I wanted to talk to you," he said.
"About what?" I asked sitting up.
"Jack, I think I love you."
"Don't fuck with me Alex," I glared. What was this some sort of sick joke? Why would he want to mess with my emotions like that? Maybe he is still mad at me but he doesn't have to bring this into it.
"I'm not fucking with you," he said looking me in the eyes.
"Don't fucking tell me you love me out of sympathy, Alex," I said pushing past him and walking off the van, "I don't want your fucking sympathy."
"Jack, wait!" Alex yelled stumbling off the van.
"No!" I yelled. "Don't do this to me! Don't fuck with me just because now you know how I feel about you. Don't tease me, and you know what just don't talk to me."
"Jack, please."
"Just leave me alone," I choked out before running off, with tears falling from my eyes.
Author: Amber
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
P.O.V.: Jack
Summary: Best friends Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat tell each other everything. At least, Alex thought they told each other everything. Jack has a secret, well three actually; 1. Jack is gay. 2. He is in love with his best friend. 3. He cuts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
turnthepageover.livejournal.com/15881.html - Masterpost. I fail at links. So that's the best I can do.
I listened as my mother cried on the other end of the phone, and my own tears were spilling from my eyes. As soon as I was released from the hospital Matt took me back to the venue and made me call her. I locked myself in the bathroom of the venue, and I tried to explain to her why I tried to kill myself, leaving out the part about me almost raping Alex. Listening to her cry was hard. I love my mom, and having her so upset with me was killing me even worse then when I tried to do it myself.
"Why would you do that, Jack!? There is no reason for that! Nothing could have been that bad!" she sobbed.
"I'm sorry, mom, I'm so sorry," I cried, sitting in the corner of the bathroom. I pulled my legs as close as I could to me, as I cried.
"Don't you ever do that again!" she yelled. I heard my sister, May, in the background asking why my mom was crying, and that made things worse. My mom started telling May everything as I sat there and cried.
"Jack, what did you do!?" May said, obviously taking the phone from our mom.
"I'm sorry, May," I said.
"Why?!"
"Don't tell mom," I whispered.
"I won't. Tell me why?" she said, softening her voice a bit.
"I almost raped Alex," I said quietly, wiping my eyes with my hoodie.
"Why would you...?" she started, before trailing off.
"I'm in love with him," I choked out, "I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him."
"Woah, Jack if that's true then that means," she started before I interrupted her.
"I'm gay."
"Woah."
"May, please don't tell mom."
"I won't, but you'll have to tell her sometime."
"I know, I just don't want her to hate me."
"She isn't going to hate you."
"How do you know?" I asked, "How do you know that she won't disown me and throw me out on to the street."
"She would never do that. You know mom, you know she will still love you when you tell her."
"I guess," I sighed.
"She will. Jack, you need to tell her."
"Okay," I sighed again, "I'll tell her when we get back from tour."
"Alright, well I'm going to go take care of mom. Be good and don't pull this shit again," May said.
"Okay. Bye May, I love you."
"Love you too, Jacky," she said before hanging up. I slowly got up from my spot off the floor, and walked out of the bathroom. I wiped my eyes and walked toward the front of the bus where Matt and Alex were sitting. They both looked up at me concerned but I shook my head.
"I fucking hate you, Flyzik," I said, before leaving and going out to the van to be alone.
When I got to the van, I curled up on the seat that I usually share with Alex, and closed my eyes before putting in my headphones and turning them on full blast. I wanted to drown out the world just for a little bit, at least long enough for me to calm down. The music worked, and it was also successful in making me fall asleep.
---
I woke up with my headphones being pulled out of my ears. Looking up I found the culprit, Alex. He smiled down at me, which I found odd. Why was he smiling at me. Wasn't he still mad about me almost raping him. He should hate me.
"Hey," he said softly.
"Hi," I replied.
"I wanted to talk to you," he said.
"About what?" I asked sitting up.
"Jack, I think I love you."
"Don't fuck with me Alex," I glared. What was this some sort of sick joke? Why would he want to mess with my emotions like that? Maybe he is still mad at me but he doesn't have to bring this into it.
"I'm not fucking with you," he said looking me in the eyes.
"Don't fucking tell me you love me out of sympathy, Alex," I said pushing past him and walking off the van, "I don't want your fucking sympathy."
"Jack, wait!" Alex yelled stumbling off the van.
"No!" I yelled. "Don't do this to me! Don't fuck with me just because now you know how I feel about you. Don't tease me, and you know what just don't talk to me."
"Jack, please."
"Just leave me alone," I choked out before running off, with tears falling from my eyes.