Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous (Twenty-Two)
Title: Keeping This Up Could Be Dangerous
Author: Amber
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
P.O.V.: Jack
Summary: Best friends Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat tell each other everything. At least, Alex thought they told each other everything. Jack has a secret, well three actually; 1. Jack is gay. 2. He is in love with his best friend. 3. He cuts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
turnthepageover.livejournal.com/15881.html - Masterpost. I fail at links. So that's the best I can do.
I didn't. I couldn't have. I would never do anything to hurt him. I would never try and rape him. But I did. I couldn't believe it. I felt so damn bad. I have never felt this bad. I've never meant to hurt Alex. I couldn't believe that I had tried to rape him. How could he even look at me? I went down to the hotel lobby and ducked inside the lobby bathroom. I caught a glimpse of my reflection before breaking down into tears. I couldn't even look at myself.
I went into the biggest stall and locked myself inside. I sat down on the floor against the wall and cried. No one came into the bathroom, and if they did I really didn't care. After a few minutes I just couldn't handle myself anymore. I pulled out my wallet, and prepared myself to leave. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had hurt Alex. I took my razor out of its place, and removed my pants. The goal was that I would cut too deep, and hopefully that would work, since I didn't have anything else that I could do this with.
I slid the razor across my skin once as I normally do, before applying more pressure. It stung. The pain was terrible, but I continued to apply as much pressure as I could. Blood oozed out and spilled all over the floor and my hand. My pants that were laying next to me started to get blood soaked as well. Then I started to panic. There was so much blood, and it hurt so bad. I couldn't stop though. I brought the razor over my flesh again and repeated the process.
I was losing blood fast, but not fast enough. I glanced down at my pants as they slowly became more and more soaked with my blood. Finally I started feeling the effects, and I dropped my razor. I was starting to feel tired, and It was slowly getting harder to breath. I slumped over so that I was laying down and watch my blood run through the crack between the tiles, as if they were little rivers carrying the blood to some invisible ocean. My vision started to blur, and my eyes kept threatening to close.
This was it. I was dying. I would never hurt again, but more importantly I would never hurt Alex again. I heard something that sounded like a door opening but it was hard to tell, and everything was starting to darken.
"Holy shit!" someone said, but it sounded so far away. The door seemed to open again, and the voice came back. "Shit! Someone help!"
Then the voice left. I could no longer keep my eyes open, and I let them shut. This was it. Now all I had to do was wait a little bit longer, and then I'd be gone forever.
Author: Amber
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: NC-17
P.O.V.: Jack
Summary: Best friends Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat tell each other everything. At least, Alex thought they told each other everything. Jack has a secret, well three actually; 1. Jack is gay. 2. He is in love with his best friend. 3. He cuts.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Alex, or anyone in the lovely band and crew that make up All Time Low. They all own each other. Amen.
turnthepageover.livejournal.com/15881.html - Masterpost. I fail at links. So that's the best I can do.
I didn't. I couldn't have. I would never do anything to hurt him. I would never try and rape him. But I did. I couldn't believe it. I felt so damn bad. I have never felt this bad. I've never meant to hurt Alex. I couldn't believe that I had tried to rape him. How could he even look at me? I went down to the hotel lobby and ducked inside the lobby bathroom. I caught a glimpse of my reflection before breaking down into tears. I couldn't even look at myself.
I went into the biggest stall and locked myself inside. I sat down on the floor against the wall and cried. No one came into the bathroom, and if they did I really didn't care. After a few minutes I just couldn't handle myself anymore. I pulled out my wallet, and prepared myself to leave. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had hurt Alex. I took my razor out of its place, and removed my pants. The goal was that I would cut too deep, and hopefully that would work, since I didn't have anything else that I could do this with.
I slid the razor across my skin once as I normally do, before applying more pressure. It stung. The pain was terrible, but I continued to apply as much pressure as I could. Blood oozed out and spilled all over the floor and my hand. My pants that were laying next to me started to get blood soaked as well. Then I started to panic. There was so much blood, and it hurt so bad. I couldn't stop though. I brought the razor over my flesh again and repeated the process.
I was losing blood fast, but not fast enough. I glanced down at my pants as they slowly became more and more soaked with my blood. Finally I started feeling the effects, and I dropped my razor. I was starting to feel tired, and It was slowly getting harder to breath. I slumped over so that I was laying down and watch my blood run through the crack between the tiles, as if they were little rivers carrying the blood to some invisible ocean. My vision started to blur, and my eyes kept threatening to close.
This was it. I was dying. I would never hurt again, but more importantly I would never hurt Alex again. I heard something that sounded like a door opening but it was hard to tell, and everything was starting to darken.
"Holy shit!" someone said, but it sounded so far away. The door seemed to open again, and the voice came back. "Shit! Someone help!"
Then the voice left. I could no longer keep my eyes open, and I let them shut. This was it. Now all I had to do was wait a little bit longer, and then I'd be gone forever.