(no subject)

[allthngseyelinr]

SO.. I've been in a really crap mood for the past like 2 days. Possibly because of PMSing. possibly coz people are super craptastic. I work a retard job. My boyfriend is in jail. I haven't gotten laid in 9 months and just realized it yesterday. I have another 9 fucking months to go. I've been obsessed with this weird baby idea in my head for no reason at all. IDK. forget about it. I really REALLY want to talk about it. But then I feel crazy. Anyway. Other times i look at people and hate the fact that they get to be happy. And some days I am happy. Maybe I hate the fact that they get to be happy with their stupid ugly boyfriends. To me. this is not fair. This, is why I am immature and probably why I do not see my boyfriend right now. My stupid insane reasoning really fucked me over. Okay? Okay. But like, I look at some people and think THEY DESERVE happiness. And lots of them don't have it. And I look at other people and think Wow, they are complete DOUCHEBAGS. And wish I could you know, shoot laser beams at them. This is one of those conversations that makes people either love or hate me. I could sure use some love. I've felt like the ignorant people I hate lately. but I choose to ignore my own ignorance and focus on why I am better than these people. Which is quite possibly ignorance in itself. Im trying SO HARD. to not feel superior to some of these..uh...dumb.. yeah.. dumb. thats awful to say that. but they really are dumb. people. Sweet. but dumb. Like a pet rock. Or a chia pet. About the same brain capacity but it really has no way of being mean to you. They can't help that they're dumb. but the fact that their inability to do simple tasks at work affects me I am incredibly irritated and prone to screaming fits and glaring. Isn't that okay? I feel like it should be. I also feel like I should be the most important person right now. Not because I really FEEL that way. But because I am sensitive, vulnerable, and generally hormonal or something. I don't know. I can't be crazy if I KNOW i'm acting crazy. Right?

Just leave me alone. I'll be fine in a few days.

Please tell me im not crazy.