(no subject)
Endangered Species Recovery Program
Author: vulgarweed
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut, Hurt/Comfort
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing.
Quote:
Aziraphale rolled his eyes. “You’re recuperating. Only you could think of this in a sexual way…”
“It’s our honeymoon and you’ve got me mostly naked and handcuffed to a bed and you’re licking ice cream off me - only you could think of that in a nonsexual way.”
Everything That Rises Must Converge/a>
Author: bookshop
Rating: G
Category: Philosophy, Romance
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale practises fence-sitting.
Quote:
Aziraphale is sitting on a fence. Balancing, rather. Crowley wants to ask him how he does it, or more to the point, why he's doing it, when Aziraphale makes the question moot by seeing Crowley and promptly toppling off.
Crowley has nothing better to do than catch him before he hits the ground, with the result that he and Aziraphale hit the ground together. As he stretches out a hand to help Aziraphale up, he starts to suggest that next time Aziraphale gets the urge to train for the circus he practice his balance on a trampoline instead of a fence. But Aziraphale interrupts.
"Don't say it," he says.
Fall
Author: lipstickcat
Rating: R
Category: Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: The consequences of giving in to urges.
Quote:
The change was slow. It crept up on them as they rested in the bed that they had made, Aziraphale lying against Crowley’s chest, their lungs heaving because they were still too far gone to realise that they didn’t have to be out of breath. He could feel it, softly burning him from the inside out, and he was scared at first. He didn’t understand. Something altered deep inside of him; he was still the same being as before, but sides had changed. He held his beloved tight and cried hot tears.
Neither had realised that Love was involved. They’d felt the overwhelming power of desire and had made assumptions. But Love was all consuming, all forgiving.
Feeding Ducks
Author: villainny
Rating: G
Category: General
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: This is a story about Nothing in Particular.
Quote:
It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, giving everything a halo, and Aziraphale smiled at young couples who held hands with the desperation of new relationships, an anchor to hold them away from reality. And on this kind of day, the world allowed it.
He wandered through the park, hands tucked in pockets, aimlessly. Eventually, as always, he found himself beside a familiar lake. Only this time, he wasn't alone.
"Oh," he said.
Flake
Author: lipstickcat
Rating: R
Category: Romance
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Ice cream in the park.
Quote:
Aziraphale wasn’t listening. All he could see was the shard of chocolate, resting at the corner of Crowley’s mouth. It moved as the demon talked. He couldn’t take his eyes off it. It was irritating him, taunting him. It had to be removed.
Flamboyant
Author: tea_and_snark
Rating: PG
Category: Crossover (Harry Potter)
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley, Remus/Sirius
Summary: Companion to Debauchery. Aziraphale has a meeting with Remus Lupin.
Quote:
Crowley looked into the Lupin-individual’s eyes over the top of his sunglasses. The demon leaned in and sniffed the air lightly, just for effect.
“Wizard. Werewolf,” he stated dryly.
The Lupin-individual turned a shade paler, but to his credit his smile barely faltered, and only one eyebrow raised itself in surprise or defiance.
“Remus, this is Anthony Crowley,” continued Aziraphale, unflappably. “Crowley is from Hell.”
For Adventurous Adults Only
Author: vulgarweed
Rating: R
Category: Humour, Crack
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale has mixed feelings about Crowley's latest business experiment.
Quote:
EROTIK CITY, the sign proclaimed in flowery neon. GRAND OPENING… S!
Aziraphale cringed when a demonic grasp on his elbow led him through the shining doors like a lamb to the…well, to something only filmed on the Continent, anyway. A busty young woman with green hair tried to ascertain their legal adult status.
“You don’t need to see our identification.” Crowley smirked. “We can go about our business.”
For Thy Sake
Author: musegaarid
Rating: PG-13
Category: Hurt/Comfort
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Hastur and Ligur take their frustration out on Aziraphale, and Crowley makes Aziraphale take his frustration out on him.
Quote:
The day had started off quite nicely. He’d taken care of some early morning thwarting and miracling, caught up on his accounts in the afternoon and had an early dinner at the Ritz with Crowley. After an extended meal, they’d gone on a walk in the park. There was nothing to suggest that Hastur and Ligur might be lying in wait for him when he returned to his shop. Nothing to suggest that he’d be tied up and tortured, unable to use his powers.
Globes and Maps
Author: penm
Rating: PG
Category: Romance
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: In which Crowley comes back, and we learn that some things really don't change.
Quote:
Sometimes, if he got to thinking around too hard, Aziraphale would unfurl his wings and fling himself into the blue (or grey, or black) sky. It was all sheets of air flowing like water, cold rush and windburn, with the occasional warm thermal. He could very easily, if not happily, remain in such a state. Just coasting. Gliding.
He still kept the ducks company. The tall man with the sunglasses, black leather, and bad temper had become something of a legend among the St. James park ducks. Elder ducks remembered and missed him. It just wasn't the same without Jimmy or Bob getting dunked into the water once in a while.
Aziraphale was used to his routine, and to his boredom, and to his vague loneliness. Often he wondered what he would do when -- if -- Crowley came back. He supposed it would be wise to learn to be happy, because Crowley might not.
Going Home
Author: daegaer
Rating: PG
Category: Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale is recalled.
Quote:
“Make them let you come back,” he said.
“Make them. Is the altitude affecting your brain?”
“Your replacement is an idiot. He doesn’t understand humans, he doesn’t understand me. I’ve taken to killing him as occupational therapy. He must be costing your lot a fortune in material bodies. Ask them to do a cost analysis.”
Good Friday
Author: sugahcat
Rating: PG
Category: Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley witness the Crucifixion.
Quote:
"My God, my God, why did you leave me?" An anguished voice cried out from the cross above their heads. It seemed to wake them both up from the dream of togetherness they had been sharing. Crowley pulled back and his expression closed off. He stepped back from Aziraphale, who felt his heart break again. He turned his gaze to the cross, and watched as life left the body of Jesus, and his tears fell again. He didn't look at Crowley and Crowley didn't look at him. He left without a word, and Aziraphale let him go. He knew Jesus would return soon, and that would mean deliverance for humanity. He was glad for them. But it didn't stop the pain of knowing his soulmate had been ripped from him. For a time, a long time, he'd been angry, blaming Crowley for letting himself Fall. And now he was dangerously close to thinking 'But angels don't have free will. He couldn't choose to Fall', of thinking about all the other things the demon had said today. He stopped himself just in time, and left the soldiers to take down the body of Christ, and went to get drunk enough so that he couldn't think of anything. It worked well, but the next day the thoughts returned, but he managed to convince himself it was because of the ineffability. That he shouldn't question God's will. It was enough, for the time being, but everytime he saw Crowley, he would wonder.
Goodbody
Author: copperbadge
Rating: R
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphael's new body is causing him some problems.
Quote:
It had the pale blue eyes and the halo of golden hair and the faintly disingenuous look about it; it had the proper number of toes and fingers, and a good nose, and it wasn't too tall or too short. It was just...
"He can't be more than twenty-six," he said.
"Well, make it last then," the workman replied. He was the sort who would hold a clipboard even though nobody in Heaven needed one, strictly speaking.
"No, it's not that -- don't you think he's rather...muscular?"
Gravitation
Author: macx_larabee
Rating: NC-17
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Sequel to Whole, and continued in Undeniable.
Quote:
Crowley had been grooming his wings, something that nine times out of eight led to sex. Not that Aziraphale minded. Sex was… interesting. Not with humans, mind you, but with Crowley. No angel in his right mind would ever sleep with a human, but there was no such rule against demons and angels getting it on, though aside from the two of them, there probably wasn't any demon or angel trying it.
Shame, Aziraphale thought faintly. It was… nice. More than nice. It was overwhelming.
Growing Season
Author: twitchycat
Rating: PG
Category: Fluff
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale offers to take care of Crowley's vegetative rejects.
Quote:
Crowley looked at the sad, brittle remains of what had once been a rather handsome maidenhair fern. If plants could speak, Crowley imagined, this one would be screaming in misery. Or, in the case of this particular plant, gasping. He fingered one pathetically brown frond.
"Traditionally," Crowley said slowly. "Traditionally, you water plants." He paused, taking in Aziraphale's expression of good-natured confusion, and added, "Otherwise they die."
Habit
Author: jennaria
Rating: PG-13
Category: Historical
Pairing(s): (none)
Summary: Genesis, Chapter 18 and 19. Sodom and Gomorrah.
Quote:
"Is anything too hard for the Lord? Your age does not matter. At the appointed time the Lord will return to you, according to the time of life," stupid phrase, but if he was going to echo's Aziraphale's cant, he was going to be thorough about it, "and Sarah shall have a son."
Sarah muttered something that might have been an apology or might have been a "sod it, you're all crazy" -- Crowley had high hopes for the latter -- and vanished back into the tent, from which a babble of voices promptly arose. Abraham's smile had become a trifle fixed. "Allow me to see you on your way," he said.
Have At It*
Author: daegaer
Rating: R
Category: Angst
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: A conflict of friendship and bureaucracy.
Quote:
Then Michael smiled, and unsheathed his shining, silver, Made-In-Heaven, demon-killing sword. Without stopping to think, Aziraphale flung himself at Crowley, getting right in Michael’s way, and punching the very surprised demon in the face. Crowley staggered backwards, making a whimpering sound.
“Get out of the way!” Michael yelled happily.
Here Comes the Flood (An Extravagance)
Author: oxoniensis
Rating: PG
Category: Fluff
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale likes the rain.
Quote:
The day was warm for April, and even the rain didn't chill the air. Aziraphale would have liked to open his wings and spread them out under the gentle shower - he could feel them twitching under his shoulder blades, eager. But even though the rain had banished the tourists to Madame Tussauds and Oxford Street there were still a few people around, unfazed by the rain. In fact, some seemed to be enjoying it as much as he was: a love-struck couple too engrossed in each other even to notice the shower, a young woman in shockingly ripped jeans tilting her head back, tongue out, to catch raindrops, the inevitable, slightly furtive looking pair of men in dark raincoats, pretending not to be talking to each other, and a tall, dark figure striding along, perfectly dry.
Wait.
Hogswatch
Author: dreya_uberwald
Rating: R
Category: Crossover (Discworld), Smut, Crack
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley on an unusual holiday.
Quote:
“I hope you don’t mind me saying so, sir, but you’re looking very pale.”
“I think I must have a cold coming on,” said Vimes, lying. He really wasn’t prepared to talk about the fact that he had just seen two men going at it with all of those feathers.
Home Is Where the Heart Is
Author: daegaer
Rating:
Category: Crossover (Dogma), Action/Adventure, Hurt/Comfort
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley, Loki/Bastleby
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley meet Loki and Bartleby.
Quote:
The gun swivelled his way, and was jerked skywards as the trigger was pulled. The young man stared at him in shock. Aziraphale felt fairly shocked himself now he got a good look at the fellow without fearing for his life.
“Shit, man,” the young man said. “You’re a fucking angel.”
“Oh dear,” Aziraphale said. “So are you.”
Hopefully Towards*
Author: derryderrydown
Rating: PG-13
Category: Smut, Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Adam makes changes.
Quote:
Well. When Adam restored Aziraphale's body, he hadn't realised that angels were genderless. Which meant Aziraphale had received a standard issue male body. Crowley had somehow - neither of them were quite sure how - ended up with the same. (Though Crowley insisted his was far from standard issue and, reluctant as Aziraphale was to encourage vanity, he couldn't help but agree.)
How They Did It*
Author: pyrodagger
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut, Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: How Aziraphale and Crowley did it.
Quote:
The first figure looked like a banker or a lawyer (a profession with which he had experimented back in the early 1800s, but in the twenty-first century there were simply too many laws) but with better cheekbones and shiny black hair that would have instantly labeled him as an American hippie with the local bridge club. He was decked out in full battle regalia--a tuxedo with a broad, aggressive tie, designer shoes which looked to be snakeskin oddly enough, and dark sunglasses even though the day was damp and gloomy. If one could see his eyes, they would have pointed out that they were yellow (brilliant contacts, mate! was a compliment he'd once recieved) and sometimes he did not blink at all.
The second figure was one of those odd people that you don't particularly notice at first glance, but if your eyes happen to slide back over them a second time they're actually quite handsome; he was precisely like this, but having accumulated a bit more dust and tartan than most people found normal was less likely to get second glances. He could be labeled as a delicately handsome man of vaguely indescribable age who perhaps could benefit from losing a couple of pounds. But only a couple.
Inexcusable Fluff*
Author: villainny
Rating: G
Category: Fluff
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Crowley watches Aziraphale sleep.
Quote:
Aziraphale, on the other hand, slept the sleep of the blissfully innocent. Occasionally he shifted slightly, tilted his head to one side, smiled gently, slept on. Currently he was on his back, hands laced over his stomach. His left cheek was flushed and scored with lines from where it had, until recently, been pressed against the battered and vaguely brown cushion that Crowley had never hated quite so much, before.
Innocence and Experience
Author: Louise Lux
Rating: R
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Crowley wants to be taught about sex.
Quote:
'Wow. I just never thought, er, that you would.' He picked distractedly at the loose threads on the shabby armchair. 'Was it, er ... ? Did you ... ? With a human?'
Aziraphale crossed his arms self-consciously. 'With a woman, yes.'
'Oh. A woman? Really?
'What?'
Innocence and Experience (Remix)
Author: musegaarid
Rating: PG-13
Category: Remix, Hurt/Comfort
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale has had some... experience and Crowley hasn't.
Quote:
“Okay... a rambling discussion about Regency silver and an exciting ten-hour marathon of The Antiques Roadshow?”
“No.”
“What the bloody hell did you do, then?” demanded Crowley, exasperated, “Shag her through the mattress?”
Aziraphale looked away. His face was ablaze. “Well... I prefer to call it making love...”
Instruments of Faith and Sex and God
Author: Ailei
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Averting a catastrophe is something to celebrate.
Quote:
"I must be the longest-lasting bad habit in recorded history." Crowley laughed, and it sounded like glass breaking. "And surely there's a twelve-step program. You lot are big into those."
"Demon-lovers Anonymous?" A sharp nip followed the lick, then the angel's agile tongue flickered into the creases between Crowley's fingers. "I wonder what the tokens would look like for that?"
"Rather pretty, I would think." The demon's cupping hand slid along Aziraphale's cheek, to twine deeply within his golden hair. "Beautiful, in fact." He couldn't resist adding, "Perhaps they prominently feature a flaming sword?" It shouldn't be so utterly delightful, *still*, to make an angel giggle.
Interrupted*
Author: dreya_uberwald
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale is envious. Crowley is sexually frustrated.
Quote:
“Aziraphale,” said Crowley, suddenly smirking. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“Ridiculous, I’m an angel. I’m incapable of experiencing envy.”
“But you can do gluttony, greed and lust.”
Aziraphale suddenly looked as though he were about to do a scarily accurate impersonation of Michael in full smiting mode. “I refuse to stand here and listen to these ridiculous accusations.”
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
Author: daegaer
Rating: PG
Category: Historical
Pairing(s): (none)
Summary: The Yuletide story, retold.
Quote:
There was a glow in the sky, a bright star hanging directly over the village as it had been for days. Beneath the star the blackness of the winter sky rent asunder and the glories of the heavens were revealed, and stepping lightly down the sky was a tall and bright figure, dressed in old fashioned clothes that shone whiter than any fuller could clean cloth, and the light from its face was such they could not easily make out any features, and it stood in the air above their heads and brightness unfurled and spread out from behind it and they stared up in horrified fascination at the light streaming from the bright feathers. From far above them they could hear a high and wonderful noise that seemed to come from the stars as they hung bright in the winter sky. The terrible and strange figure looked down at them from its peculiarly colourless eyes and raised its hands as if it were praying, and in a voice that sounded like bells or like flames or like the distant roar of a lion, said 'Fear not.'
Mattanyahu, Yonatan and Ya'akov fainted.
'Oh, wonderful,' Aziraphale said.
Its Own Place
Author: unravels
Rating: PG-13
Category: Action/Adventure, Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: The End comes round once again; naturally, this is not accepted gracefully. A little comedy, a little angst, set in heaven, hell, and all points between.
Quote:
“No more feeding those blasted ducks.”
“No more trying new restaurants.”
“No more waking up naked in the middle of nowhere with a bitch of a hangover and your feathers getting stuck in my mouth.”
They were both silent following this pronouncement, in the way that silence can be like a small explosion.
I've Got What I Want, Already
Author: waxbean
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Crowley’s plot to tempt Aziraphale doesn’t go according to plan - well, not his, I should say…
Quote:
“Go on, angel. Get it off your chest. Insinuate what?”
“Insinuate that I would be attracted to men… that’s what this entire night has been about, hasn’t it? And this isn’t the first time you’ve pulled this stunt, either. What about all those plays you made me go to a while back? The ones with boys playing female characters?” he demanded. “Just how long have you been toying with me?”
“Now, wait… that’s hardly fair. That was hundreds of years ago - women weren’t allowed on stage then!” Crowley interjected.
Just Names For Sides
Author: daegaer
Rating: PG
Category: Crossover (Star Wars), Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary:
Quote:
'Dark Lord of the Sith?' Kenobi asked irritably. 'Had you just read too many bad novels that day?'
'I was pressed for time, and had to come up with something, you know how it is,' Vader said, circling round him slowly.
'Oh, I know all right. Tacky. Very tacky.'
'Well, I'm sorry, Mr member-of-an-ascetic-warrior-order. How's that working out for you, anyway? Found a planet with cream buns, yet? Ow!'
Las Vegas
Author: xylodemon
Rating: R
Category: Smut
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: In which Aziraphale and Crowley have dinner and talk about sin.
Quote:
"What do you want?" Aziraphale asked.
"Really, angel," Crowley sighed, reaching across the table to grab Aziraphale by the wrist. "After all these years, you should know better than to ask a demon a question like that."
Like the Smoke of a Furnace
Author: daegaer
Rating: G
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: "This was not the worst moment of my life" challenge.
Quote:
"Where did you get those?" he asked in a dazed voice. "You shouldn't have those."
The man took out cuffs that looked like they were trying very hard to appear to be steel. They were adamantine. Aziraphale began to feel a hysterical giggle rising up. These people were perhaps on his side. Theoretically. And they'd killed Crowley. That wasn't theoretical. His hands had begun to shake, he noticed.
Living Arrangements
Author: Afrai
Rating: PG-13
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Aziraphale is fired.
Quote:
"Aziraphale," he said. Dread churned in his gut, and yes, he could tell it now, there was something off here, something like -- like -- "What's happened?"
"I'm human," said Aziraphale.
-- like the absence of something so familiar it had gone unnoticed for six thousand years.
For the second time that morning, Crowley said:
"What?"
Love and Wheels
Author: angelsinstone
Rating: PG
Category: Crossover (Harry Potter)
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley, Ford Anglia/Bentley
Summary: The Bentley falls in love.
Quote:
“Stop flirting with my car, you mechanical whore!” Crowley screeched at the slightly battered turquoise vehicle that was matching the Bentley’s ninety-miles-an-hour down a deserted English highway. It swerved in front of them, shaking its tail lights flirtatiously. The Bentley purred in appreciation, causing the demon to glare daggers at the dashboard.
"Don’t you even think about it!” he snarled. “I raised you better than that! Have you no class?”
Matchmaker
Author: irisbleu
Rating: PG-13
Category: Philosophy
Pairing(s): Anathema/Newt, Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: In order to find the fire, you have to gather sparks.
Quote:
Nighttime again, darkness. Candlelight again, strange and over amplified. One of those odd chariots. A two-wheeled vehicle that Anathema called Phaeton. Two men who gave off light that suggested they weren't actually men. Angels, or devils. Or both.
By morning, Agnes had worked it out, and she woke up laughing.
Above and Below would never knew what hit them.
Messenger of Sympathies
Author: vulgarweed
Rating: PG-13
Category: Historical, Philosophy
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: What does a poor demon have to do to get a good century's sleep? Aziraphale is sad and uncertain. Crowley is jealous and cranky. Oil, meet water.
Quote:
“So did you carpe his diem then?”
The angel looked positively scandalised. You’d think he’d have learned a new appalled face by now, but no, it had been unchanged for centuries. Crowley thought he’d first seen it unveiled in response to his new collection of tasteless Black Death jokes.
Mile-High Club*
Author: miss_arel
Rating: PG
Category: Crack
Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale talk about flying.
Quote:
“He gave us wings for a reason. Flying like this just feels… dishonest.”
“Honesty is overrated. And this way is much less tiring. You can’t get a first-class meal flitting about out there, now can you?”
“I suppose…” Aziraphale sighed again, looking out the window. “Still. This way isn’t as interesting. All static and… normal in here. Boring.”
Crowley chuckled. “Oh, that’s easy enough to fix…” he leaned forward and looked at Aziraphale over the tops of his sunglasses. “Have you ever heard of the Mile-High Club?”
Morning After*
Author: dreya_uberwald
Rating: R
Category:
Pairing(s):
Summary:
Quote:
Going back to sleep, now there was an idea, decided Crowley, after realising that no obvious solution to his current predicament was forthcoming. Unfortunately, whilst the sensation of the angel’s breath on the side of his neck was rather soothing, the voices coming from the room next door were, most emphatically, not. A man and a woman were arguing very loudly about what colour of bathroom mat they should buy. Crowley briefly considered inflicting some diabolic horror or other on them, but decided that doing so would probably cause Aziraphale to smite him. Not that a bit of mild smiting every now and again would necessarily be a bad thing; especially if entailed another round of ‘lets see who can pin the other to the bed first’.
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