ramble ramble ramble
i hate the way i get after coming back from somewhere, something like that and i realize i'm doing nothing at home. and i love the way i feel after reading something like che's diaries during his trek across the sad but rich land of america in the south, but i hate that then the apathy creeps back. apathy has taken over our generation. but then i look at my parents and they are so comfortable in their lifestyle and my mom asks herself where did my passion go? why don't i feel angry and sad, yet hopeful like you? and it is because she is comfortable. and we americans are just too fucking comfortable. no one here wants to go to school. we hate it from a couple years in and despise it once we get this grand opportunity to go to college. in one sense it is complete bullshit. but kids in almost every other part of the world would DIE to get the kind of education we are getting. to have our parents pay thousands of dollars so we can get further in life. to allow me to live in such an amazing city. that is the only reason i'm here anyway: school. and we all take it for granted. other kids just want to have money for books and we pay hundreds for books we never open and for classes we don't attend. no wonder other countries look at us and think we're fucking spoiled. even kids in poor families that we look away from in our own country would do anything they could to get to a university like we go to and we don't even think it's worth anything. but knowing is worth something. i think. and it is so obvious to me that something has to change. too many people in this world are hungry and poor. life shouldn't be about working all day so you can pay off your god damn mortgage. people are fucking starving. children are fighting wars over ideas and imperialist countries are fucking other countries up one. at. a. time. isn't it fucking obvious that SOMETHING needs to change? why can't we unite? why have we all (including myself) given into apathy? we can't find one cause to all fight under. we all have to have our own agendas. but something needs to change. and i read che's book and it makes me feel passionate again. and i read about him and he gives you this hope. and i read about his brutality and fighting. and i despise it. yet the more i think about this world and everything that needs to change the more i realize that as unfortunate as it is, things only change through power. an individual does not have power alone unless she or he has a hell of a lot of money (negative) or she or he provokes fear in others, violence, (also negative). and that's the only way shit gets done. i love peace. in all forms. and i believe in it. but peace won't give food to the people in chile or take away the weapons of the fighters in somalia. it won't make the united states stop fucking everyone and their mom over. it won't help our own country's people who need some real fucking help. marx said that the only way for change was through a violent overthrow and i'm really starting to believe it. che said we need to unite and stop being such individuals (though we need to better our individual self) and fucking unite and be a community and oppose all these horrors. we need to fucking do something. and ranting and raging on my keyboard in my fucking livejournal isn't going to do a god damn thing. but i don't know what will anymore. and i don't know why it isn't obvious to everyone on the entire fucking planet that what is happening is not fucking okay with them. that people starving all over the world just isn't right when we are sitting in our warm homes, with enough food for us to never ever ever ever go hungry, and sleeping in a comfy bed all night. it isn't okay that us westerners exploit every single "developing" country. we fuck them and rape them and they let us because they don't have any power. and i just have no clue about what to fucking do. we can all do our little piece in our world. i know that. but that isn't enough when so many people have nothing. and it stresses me out. and i just wish i could do something. it's so much easier for the rich to get apathetic. but unless we can start some sort of revolution or rebellion, what can we do?