I'm not handing in an assignment that's due in 2 hours. It's gods fault.
unfortunately i did not write the following. i hope this brings you or a few lols, if not whatever, feel free to argue, ill promise ill argue back :)
DIFFERENT ARGUEMENTS USED TO PROVE GODS EXISTANCE. (abridged)
ARGUMENT FROM WIND
(1) You believe in wind.
(2) But you can't see it.
(3) God's the same way.
(4) It IS TOO analogous!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WOW
(1) When I look into the sky and see all the pretty stars, all those galaxies...
(2) Wow.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE
(1) Doesn't it just make more sense that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good deity created the world out of nothingness, from magic, essentially, and then punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then incarnated himself in human flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he could break his own rules, and then went through hell on a temporary basis and then went back into the sky and promised to come back and take everyone who believed in him to this heaven no one has ever seen?
(2) Well, doesn't it?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ARMCHAIR PSYCHOANALYSIS
(1) You say there's no God?
(2) Ah, someone calling themselves Christian must have really hurt you in the past.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITAL, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES (II)
(1) A dear relative of mine was terminally ill and undergoing extensive surgery in the hospital.
(2) My whole family sat outside the O.R. and prayed through the entire eight hours of surgery.
(3) He lived.
(4) No, the highly trained physicians had nothing to do with it, unbeliever!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) God is awesome!
(2) Like, totally, dude!
(3) Therefore, God, like, exists and stuff.
ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY FAITH
(1) It is impossible to prove the existence of God.
(2) Proof denies faith.
(3) Faith is necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WARM AND FUZZY THINGS
(1) When I was an Atheist, I didn't have any warm & fuzzy things in my life.
(2) I really like warm & fuzzy things.
(3) If the Christian God exists, lots of warm & fuzzy things are true because all these really smart theists say so.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
(5) Old Testament? Never heard of it.
ARGUMENT FROM GUNS (II)
(1) I have a gun.
(2) In fact, we have a lot more guns than you do.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FLOWERS, a.k.a. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (VI)
(1) That flower is pretty.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM IT'S MY BALL AND YOU CAN'T PLAY
(1) There is abundant logical and empirical evidence that God does not exist.
(2) There is no evidence that God does exist.
(3) But God plays by completely different rules.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (III)
(1) I don't understand evolution; I mean how could there be nothing then something?
(2) (Well informed Atheist gives articulate explanation of evolution and gently explains that the beginning of the universe has nothing to do with evolution.)
(3) Well it seems way too complicated and unlikely to me. Plus I don't want to live my life thinking I evolved from a monkey.
(4) Therefore, God exists and Jesus died for our sins.
(5) (Atheist argues that theist's ignorance of evolution does not logically lead to the conclusion that there is a god, let alone the Christian god.)
(6) Says you! God bless.
(7) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM GOD
(1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a communication from God.
(2) Atheist says, "Couldn't there be a natural explanation?"
(3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally.
(4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z.
(5) No, none of those can explain it.
(6) Because they can't!
(7) Atheist is not convinced.
(8) How dare you deny my very special experience!
(9) Atheist tries to explain that she's only questioning the theist's interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special was experienced.
(10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!
(11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore!
(12) Therefore, God exists.
The ARGUMENT FROM THE THRONE ROOM
(1) Would you stand in the presence of a mighty king and demand that he prove he exists?
(2) No?
(3) That's what you're doing with God, you arrogant bastards.
(4) I don't CARE that you can't see him!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM COUNTERFACTUAL EVIDENCE
(1) You claim the evidence for Jesus' divinity is non-existent.
(2) But if there were lots of evidence, you would still not be convinced.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.
PASCAL'S ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PASCAL'S WAGER
(1) If God exists, it would be really cool. (And I would win big-time.)
(2) If God didn't exist, it would really suck. (But I wouldn't lose much.)
(3) Therefore, God exists. (Or, at least I should believe in God because it's the best bet.)
ARGUMENT FROM THE MEANING OF LIFE
(1) What's the meaning of life?
(2) [Atheist gives her answer.]
(3) That's not what I believe.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CAN'T-BE-A-RACIST
(1) Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in God.
(2) I don't think you want to say Dr. King was a fool, do you?
(3) That's what I thought.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SEVERABILITY, a.k.a. THE TRUE SCOTSMAN ARGUMENT
(1) Lots of ridiculous statements are made by people who only claim is to be Real Christians.
(2) They just give Real Christians a bad name.
(3) Real Christians don't believe is literally true.
(4) But that doesn't mean the Bible isn't still mostly true.
(5) And the Bible is the Word of God.
(6) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Because why?
(3) Because!
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN (I), a.k.a. PALEY'S ARGUMENT, a.k.a. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (III)
(1) If there is a designer, then God must exist.
(2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer.
(3) [Throws watch into forest.]
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FREE GIFT, a.k.a. Kissing Hank's Ass
(1) If some guy came up to you on the street and offered you a billion dollars for nothing in return, would you take the money or deny his existence?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY
(1) Atheists don’t build hospitals.
(2) [Atheist points out Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate millions of dollars to charity.]
(3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM "LET'S JUST BELIEVE," a.k.a. TAFFY LEWIS'S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) All belief systems should be treated the same as the scientific one.
(2) [non-believer: Why?]
(3) Because they have their own grounds.
(4) Anyway, that's my experience of how the world works.
(5) [non-believer: It's not mine. And why should you treat claims of unicorns less seriously than claims of gods?]
(6) I don't believe there are unicorns.
(7) But I believe there are gods.
(8) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS
(1) The Declaration of Independence founded the U.S.
(2) Therefore, the Declaration of Independence is true.
(3) The Declaration of Independence says that our rights are "endowed by our Creator."
(4) George W. agrees with this.
(5) You have rights, don't you???
(6) Well where the f*** do you think they came from???
(7) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) God saves the queen.
(2) The queen hasn't died.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) God is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DICTATORSHIP
(1) Dictators do not believe in God.
(2) Dictators are wrong.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
DIFFERENT ARGUEMENTS USED TO PROVE GODS EXISTANCE. (abridged)
ARGUMENT FROM WIND
(1) You believe in wind.
(2) But you can't see it.
(3) God's the same way.
(4) It IS TOO analogous!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WOW
(1) When I look into the sky and see all the pretty stars, all those galaxies...
(2) Wow.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WHAT MAKES SENSE
(1) Doesn't it just make more sense that an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good deity created the world out of nothingness, from magic, essentially, and then punished us for eating a piece of fruit, and then incarnated himself in human flesh and came down to shed his own blood so he could break his own rules, and then went through hell on a temporary basis and then went back into the sky and promised to come back and take everyone who believed in him to this heaven no one has ever seen?
(2) Well, doesn't it?
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM ARMCHAIR PSYCHOANALYSIS
(1) You say there's no God?
(2) Ah, someone calling themselves Christian must have really hurt you in the past.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM HOSPITAL, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM MIRACLES (II)
(1) A dear relative of mine was terminally ill and undergoing extensive surgery in the hospital.
(2) My whole family sat outside the O.R. and prayed through the entire eight hours of surgery.
(3) He lived.
(4) No, the highly trained physicians had nothing to do with it, unbeliever!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) God is awesome!
(2) Like, totally, dude!
(3) Therefore, God, like, exists and stuff.
ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY FAITH
(1) It is impossible to prove the existence of God.
(2) Proof denies faith.
(3) Faith is necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM WARM AND FUZZY THINGS
(1) When I was an Atheist, I didn't have any warm & fuzzy things in my life.
(2) I really like warm & fuzzy things.
(3) If the Christian God exists, lots of warm & fuzzy things are true because all these really smart theists say so.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
(5) Old Testament? Never heard of it.
ARGUMENT FROM GUNS (II)
(1) I have a gun.
(2) In fact, we have a lot more guns than you do.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FLOWERS, a.k.a. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (VI)
(1) That flower is pretty.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM IT'S MY BALL AND YOU CAN'T PLAY
(1) There is abundant logical and empirical evidence that God does not exist.
(2) There is no evidence that God does exist.
(3) But God plays by completely different rules.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM IGNORANCE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM PERSONAL INCREDULITY (III)
(1) I don't understand evolution; I mean how could there be nothing then something?
(2) (Well informed Atheist gives articulate explanation of evolution and gently explains that the beginning of the universe has nothing to do with evolution.)
(3) Well it seems way too complicated and unlikely to me. Plus I don't want to live my life thinking I evolved from a monkey.
(4) Therefore, God exists and Jesus died for our sins.
(5) (Atheist argues that theist's ignorance of evolution does not logically lead to the conclusion that there is a god, let alone the Christian god.)
(6) Says you! God bless.
(7) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM COMMUNICATION FROM GOD
(1) I had this incredible experience that could only be explained by a communication from God.
(2) Atheist says, "Couldn't there be a natural explanation?"
(3) No, I'm telling you there is no way this could be explained naturally.
(4) Atheist suggests alternate explanations q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y and z.
(5) No, none of those can explain it.
(6) Because they can't!
(7) Atheist is not convinced.
(8) How dare you deny my very special experience!
(9) Atheist tries to explain that she's only questioning the theist's interpretation of that experience, and not the claim that something special was experienced.
(10) You just don't want to believe that what I experienced is from God, because you are a closed-minded, dogmatic materialist!
(11) And also, you are a big meanie and I'm not talking to you anymore!
(12) Therefore, God exists.
The ARGUMENT FROM THE THRONE ROOM
(1) Would you stand in the presence of a mighty king and demand that he prove he exists?
(2) No?
(3) That's what you're doing with God, you arrogant bastards.
(4) I don't CARE that you can't see him!
(5) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM COUNTERFACTUAL EVIDENCE
(1) You claim the evidence for Jesus' divinity is non-existent.
(2) But if there were lots of evidence, you would still not be convinced.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (II)
(1) The Bible says the Bible is true.
(2) Therefore the Bible is true.
(3) The Bible says God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exist.
PASCAL'S ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PASCAL'S WAGER
(1) If God exists, it would be really cool. (And I would win big-time.)
(2) If God didn't exist, it would really suck. (But I wouldn't lose much.)
(3) Therefore, God exists. (Or, at least I should believe in God because it's the best bet.)
ARGUMENT FROM THE MEANING OF LIFE
(1) What's the meaning of life?
(2) [Atheist gives her answer.]
(3) That's not what I believe.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CAN'T-BE-A-RACIST
(1) Martin Luther King, Jr. believed in God.
(2) I don't think you want to say Dr. King was a fool, do you?
(3) That's what I thought.
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SEVERABILITY, a.k.a. THE TRUE SCOTSMAN ARGUMENT
(1) Lots of ridiculous statements are made by people who only claim is to be Real Christians.
(2) They just give Real Christians a bad name.
(3) Real Christians don't believe is literally true.
(4) But that doesn't mean the Bible isn't still mostly true.
(5) And the Bible is the Word of God.
(6) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ELABORATED ARGUMENT FROM BECAUSE
(1) Because.
(2) Because why?
(3) Because!
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DESIGN (I), a.k.a. PALEY'S ARGUMENT, a.k.a. TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (III)
(1) If there is a designer, then God must exist.
(2) If I find a watch in a forest, there must be a designer.
(3) [Throws watch into forest.]
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM FREE GIFT, a.k.a. Kissing Hank's Ass
(1) If some guy came up to you on the street and offered you a billion dollars for nothing in return, would you take the money or deny his existence?
(2) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM CHARITY
(1) Atheists don’t build hospitals.
(2) [Atheist points out Bill Gates and Ted Turner, who donate millions of dollars to charity.]
(3) Yes, but do they build hospitals?
(4) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM "LET'S JUST BELIEVE," a.k.a. TAFFY LEWIS'S ARGUMENT (I)
(1) All belief systems should be treated the same as the scientific one.
(2) [non-believer: Why?]
(3) Because they have their own grounds.
(4) Anyway, that's my experience of how the world works.
(5) [non-believer: It's not mine. And why should you treat claims of unicorns less seriously than claims of gods?]
(6) I don't believe there are unicorns.
(7) But I believe there are gods.
(8) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM RIGHTS
(1) The Declaration of Independence founded the U.S.
(2) Therefore, the Declaration of Independence is true.
(3) The Declaration of Independence says that our rights are "endowed by our Creator."
(4) George W. agrees with this.
(5) You have rights, don't you???
(6) Well where the f*** do you think they came from???
(7) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DIVINE RIGHT
(1) God saves the queen.
(2) The queen hasn't died.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) God is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM DICTATORSHIP
(1) Dictators do not believe in God.
(2) Dictators are wrong.
(3) Therefore, God exists.
ARGUMENT FROM MUSHROOMS
(1) This pizza tastes funny.
(2) That purple llama on the ceiling is juggling chainsaws.
(3) Purple llamas can't juggle chainsaws.
(4) It must be a miracle!
(5) Therefore, God exists.