(no subject)
I think one of the worst feelings in the world is really needing to talk to someone and only that someone and you can't. It feels like abandonment.
I haven't had a really good cry in a while.
I was working on it while I was in bed at my grandmother's house this weekend cringing and hoping I would feel better. When you get really sick and don't feel better, you can feel like everything is coming to an end. So I thought about every awful outcome in my life. and cried. and almost felt better. but I didn't.
Tonight I watched Hotel Rowanda and wanted to cry. no tears came.
I feel that need to cry again. Maybe I should rip everything apart to get past it. Just for now.
I haven't had a really good cry in a while.
I was working on it while I was in bed at my grandmother's house this weekend cringing and hoping I would feel better. When you get really sick and don't feel better, you can feel like everything is coming to an end. So I thought about every awful outcome in my life. and cried. and almost felt better. but I didn't.
Tonight I watched Hotel Rowanda and wanted to cry. no tears came.
I feel that need to cry again. Maybe I should rip everything apart to get past it. Just for now.