summer swallowed us whole.
my last night in this apartment, and i am here by myself. one roommate is at the dorms, another is at home, and another is somewhere between boston and here. it's bad enough being nostalgic, let alone being nostalgic and lonely.
i wanted one last balcony cigarette, but there were these strange people i'd never seen before out there. so i smoked one inside, for the first (and last) time. some good times were had on that balcony. like the time we had a party and at one point fifteen people were out there at once. and later at the same party when rather than opening the screen door i just ripped it and walked out through the flap of screen material.
not to mention the nights just sitting out there talking. and looking at the stars, and talking about how that's the one downfall of living in the city--the stars are so dim.
and later, going out to the playground and swinging and feeling like nothing could ever be wrong.
and sneaking into the cemetery and walking to the lake and mentioning things we needed to do and places we needed to go that we never really got around to, but it felt like we still had time, right up until the end.
wow. i can really get going when i let myself.
it just feels like i'm losing so much. i knew it would be temporary from the beginning but i didn't realize i'd be so attached. and it's not just the physical act of moving/leaving (though my entire life in boxes is a little sad when i think about it.) it's that this truly feels like the death knell of summer. and this topic is tired but it's all i can think about lately.
and i should get to bed rather than subject you to more of my emo dissertations.
i wanted one last balcony cigarette, but there were these strange people i'd never seen before out there. so i smoked one inside, for the first (and last) time. some good times were had on that balcony. like the time we had a party and at one point fifteen people were out there at once. and later at the same party when rather than opening the screen door i just ripped it and walked out through the flap of screen material.
not to mention the nights just sitting out there talking. and looking at the stars, and talking about how that's the one downfall of living in the city--the stars are so dim.
and later, going out to the playground and swinging and feeling like nothing could ever be wrong.
and sneaking into the cemetery and walking to the lake and mentioning things we needed to do and places we needed to go that we never really got around to, but it felt like we still had time, right up until the end.
wow. i can really get going when i let myself.
it just feels like i'm losing so much. i knew it would be temporary from the beginning but i didn't realize i'd be so attached. and it's not just the physical act of moving/leaving (though my entire life in boxes is a little sad when i think about it.) it's that this truly feels like the death knell of summer. and this topic is tired but it's all i can think about lately.
and i should get to bed rather than subject you to more of my emo dissertations.