Passing II
I've been ignoring you for a while, but I suppose I'd better write sometime. It's not that I don't want to, just that every time there's been an oppertunity I haven't felt in the mood for writing. I could try anyway, but trust me, you don't want me to.
As always there's lots going on, and I'm finally starting to agree with the people who used to tell me that days were too short when I thought they were far too long. The horrible thing is when your tasks don't have any defined endpoints; of the list of things I had to do that I posted a while ago, all the ones that were single 'events' have been done, and therefore I'm left only with the ongoing jobs. There's only three I'm concerned with at the moment, which are XVII's site, CaliHQ3, and my diary. I'd allocated today and Sunday to CaliHQ3, but I wasted too much of the morning sleeping and spent the evening working on our site instead, which shows how well I keep to my work plans.
I spent the week working for Cali - only four hours a day, but as usual it becomes more than that; not the work itself, but travelling in between, preparing to leave, and the 'settling back in' period once I arrive home. Altogether they probably add at least an hour and a half on to the time. It's been going well though - the application I'm writing is coming along nicely, and Darius' attitude has remained good about everything. On Thursday he even suggested I work at home instead; I'd thought about asking him about it, but decided it wasn't worth disputes over the hours I'd worked. However, he said do the work at home and I'll still pay you the four hours, so I went along with that. Much better, because it means I can put in the four hours anywhere I like and aren't tied to a particular time.
I also asked him about a higher rate, but he said he couldn't afford £10. He probably could, but for as long as I keep getting a free lunch and sometimes a lift home, I'm not too bothered. He said he could put it up by a pound or two, but then it couldn't be by cash - I'd have to be paid monthly, and be taxed. He also said a lot of other things I didn't really understand, so I said okay, keep it as it is for now. He still keeps mentioning how this is a long-term relationship and that there's many more jobs to come for us, and that 'the money will go up and up'.
Graham had another, even longer go at expressing his displeasure to the arrangement, which once again didn't serve much purpose other than creating an argument. I still don't see what the problem is. Somehow I can't see him disagreeing when this money is paying for our expenses and such.
Friday was a little different. Graham phoned me on Thursday evening before he went to work to say Cali was having problems with being slow, and Nicky was asking for someone to go down and sort it out. I didn't see what I was supposed to do about it, but had a look anyway, and did manage to speed up the main refresh query. I put the new version on the live update system... and nothing happened. Turned out that when Graham had set up the clients to use the update system, he forgot to add the sync utility to the startup on the server, so it wasn't running. So, I had to go down to Ringwood Road to double click and icon and move it into the startup group, and then the update went okay.
That was, until the next morning. Graham called me again and said that Nicky had just been on the phone saying the system now wouldn't even start. I couldn't think why, since it had worked for the rest of the night after I updated it. When I ran my local copy though, I discovered I had the problem too; the change I'd made the night before uses a MAX and COUNT query in MySQL - whilst there were still orders in the system everything had been fine, but for some reason if a COUNT operation returns no rows, MySQL gives NULL instead of 0. Visual basic doesn't like NULL, so it was throwing up errors going, OMFG, NULL! What do I do?! Crash! So I fixed the error and put it on live update. Nothing happened again. I got Nicky to drive to Ringwood Road and ensure that sync was started, but it was - it just wasn't working. Not understanding why, I had no choice but to go down there. Luckily she said she'd come and get me, so it wasn't too bad, but I'd only got out of bed to answer the phone so I hadn't had time for a shower or anything, and I hate the feeling of being 'dirty' all day.
When I got there, I discovered that indeed, there was just a bug in the sync utility. It was failing to see that there were updates available. I've no idea why, and even looking through the source I can't see any reason... it's going to be a hard one to track down. Anyway, since I was there, I distributed the fix, and we placed a test order to make sure everything was okay. It just sat there. Great. I quickly realised the problem; the fix to make it faster used the COUNT and MAX to see whether any new orders had been placed or any taken, and only do the full, slow update if it was necesary. However, our system actually takes two refreshes to print an order, because there's a ten second delay to give the operators a chance to correct a mistake if they send an order to the wrong store. First refresh found the order, and the second one would have noticed it was time to print... except there was no second refresh, because the COUNT/MAX detected no change. Oops. So, hurriedly removed that and went back to the slow system, and pondered what to do next.
It was coming up to the time I should leave for Lansdowne, and I wasn't sure whether I should be going or not. Nicky settled that though, by calling Darius and telling him she'd stolen me for the day. So, I settled down to try and find a way to make the system fast again without breaking it. I decided the easiest solution was just remove the ten second delay - which worked, but didn't let anybody know it worked. The clients refreshed and claimed the order for printing, but other clients that refreshed before the one that would take it found the order, showed it's status as 'Waiting'... and never updated that to 'Printed', for the same reason as before. That wasn't really any good either, but then I realised I could solve this by altering the query slightly so that it counted the orders where the printed flag was in a particular state - therefore if any of the printed flag changed, the COUNT/MAX would change, triggering an update. Woo, fixed.
By this time it was about 2:30 and Nicky was about to leave. I wondered whether to ask her to take me back home, but decided to stay in case there were any more problems. When it got to 4ish though, I went home. Unfortunately, because I got stolen, I didn't go to see Darius to get paid... so I suppose that'll now be Monday. Shame, I was looking forward to that bit.
Brief interlude: I just opened KitKat, which you probably know comes as two sticks of biscuit stuck together, intended to be broken apart and eaten separately. As I unwrapped it, I was thinking that I'd eat one bit now, and save the other half for later. As I finshed thinking this, I noticed that both were gone, because I'd eaten them.
More music lately. I learned that The Rasmus had actually been going for quite a long time, so I went to see what was in their back catlogue. Quite a lot it seems, but sadly, it's not very good. Their first couple of albums are so different to their current style. You can actually notice the transition though - they change a bit with each one, and particularly with the album 'Into', which is the last one before the one that got them known over here, 'Dead Letters'. Even the songs seem to be talking about change, as if they knew it was time for a new direction and that this was to be it.
And Audioslave... really loving them. They've not produced very much, but I found out that they were formed with a combination of the band of Rage Against The Machine, and the singer from Soundgarden, which I didn't know, so perhaps I might like some of either of those. From what I've been reading, I will like Soundgarden more than teh Rage. And a particular album by Five For Fighting, called 'The Battle For Everything'. It's probably one of my top plays lately.
Space is running out for more music again, despite all the space I saved be recoding my collection - the flow is just too much to keep up with. I reformatted Biach's hard disk to NTFS instead of FAT32 so I could enable compression, but stupidly neglected to realise that compressing MP3s doesn't do very much. It saved about 200MB out of 14GB, which was barely worth the time it took. I'm going to have to buy a new hard disk sometime, probably before too long.
I had two interesting dreams lately. Interesting to me, anyway, probably not to you. The first was that Shanna was back here, but only for a single day. However, the day wasn't passing - time was staying exactly the same, but this was only because she was ignoring me. Not deliberately, but just... busy, attention on other things than me. I wanted to get her attention, but I knew that if I did, it would use up some of the day, and I didn't want to. I thought I would rather spend forever just having her there, than have the single day actually interacting in any way. So, I just stayed with her, following her around. I woke up several times during this, and strangely the time never seemed to be going forward. I had to check the clock because I had to get up at 11am, but every time I looked it appeared to be the same time. It wasn't, but it felt like it. Finally, the last time I reentered the dream we were sitting on our bed - the one in my grandparent's house, but instead at the edge of a huge room that stretched further than I could see it. Shanna was in the middle, doing something that looked like colouring in pictures in a book, and I was just sat behind her, still just watching. Then I changed my mind. I didn't care any more about using the time, it was better than being able to do nothing more than watch. I wrapped my arms around her tightly from where I was sitting, and indeed she turned her head to look at me. For some reason, I actually wondered why, but the thought 'squish' immidiately answered that for me, and I let go a little. She was still looking at me though, and I felt so... apologetic. I hadn't meant to! I genuinely hadn't... I just wanted to hold her... but then I saw it was okay. She knew I hadn't meant to, and didn't really care either way anyway. She was still looking at me when I woke up for the final time. That probably doesn't mean anything to you, but the feeling of innocence that I had is significant to me for many reasons.
The other dream was just strange more than anything. I was at Graham's and staying the night, but he went to bed without saying anything to me. We were still in his old small room, and since there was only a bed in there, I wandered off to find somewhere else to sleep. I went into the room that I knew was the living room (even though the door actually corresponds to where his new room is), and went to the bed there. There was someone in it, and I thought it was Graham again... but it was Tesla. I didn't want to wake her, but it was too late. She sat up, and kind of... felt sorry for me I suppose. She was being all kind and sympathetic that I was tired and couldn't find anywhere to sleep. I felt like I often do with her - that I don't need what she's trying to tell me or give me or whatever, but that she is genuine in wanting to help, so I accept and appreciate it anyway, regardless of whether I already knew, could have got it myself, done it myself, etc. In this case I'd planned to just go back to Graham's room and sleep on the floor, but Tesla led me to a sofa that was covered in cushions in the corner of the room, and said I could have that. I lay down on it, and she said she'd put on something to help me sleep. Then proceeded to play some heavy metal, and sing along to it. That's the kind of thing that I'd normally think was strange when I woke up, but accept in the dream - on this occasion though, subconcious me was just as bemused as concious me, but again, I just appreciated that she was trying and tried to get to sleep. The sofa was very comfortable, after all. Evidently it wasn't enough though, because she suddenly decided we had to get away from there. So, I found myself sitting next to her on a bus. Neither spoke for a long time, but after we'd been on it for a good hour or so, I began to wonder where we were going, and asked. She didn't know. She just said we had to get as far away as possible so we were going as far as it would take us. I woke up before we got there.
Last night I found a brilliant program, that I wish I'd had years ago, because I don't have much use for it now. It's a kind of porn search engine, but it's not crap. It's extremely well designed and written, and absolutely full of features. Someone really went to a lot of trouble to develop it, and then give it away free. It worked, too. I know because I was tempted enough to try it. It works extremely well. It's just a pity I only came across it now that my interest has faded - after 30 minutes or so, I was bored and resumed searching for what I'd been looking for originally when I found it - a freeware game of JezzBall. I still feel it deserves to be shared though, just in case anybody would like it. Can't think of anybody on my friends list that would... but you never know. Here it is. Actually, maybe it's best that I didn't find it before, or I'd have no hard disk space left. Well, not that I have much now.
I spent last night reading some letters that Shanna sent to me a while ago. 'tis interesting to compare expectations of what was then the future, with what actually happened in what now is the past. Some was quite accurate, some wasn't, but that doesn't really matter; the thoughts were true even when they're not accurate, so in that sense, they still stand now. I've always tried to be quite careful with my predictions, which usually consist of just believing that everything will be fine, because that tends to be true. I work too much by instinct for it to be worth guessing my future reactions to things, whether I could or not.
Ezio! I almost forgot them! I think it was last Saturday... or something... don't know, lost track of time, but Graham called me one evening and asked if I wanted to see a new band. It was only a few minutes notice, but I agreed anyway - it's usually worth it. I'd never even heard of them before, but the list of influences Graham told me sounded promising. Indeed, even the support act was good, and when one of the people who worked there announced there were CDs being sold at the back, we went to get one. He'd meant CDs of Ezio though, not the support act, so obviously we weren't going to buy one until we'd heard them, but I was expecting to want to at the end of the night. They were good - not actually like any of the bands I'd been told, but 'influenced' was definately the right word - they were what you might get if you made some kind of combination of those bands, and then added something to make it unique. It was all acoustic guitar with bass and drums, and the singer (who was actually called Ezio) has a great voice. I found myself liking pretty much everything they played, and not just that; they were great fun in the gaps between songs too, really entertaining the crowd. Amazingly, it wasn't busy there, and the tickets were very very cheap. We think though, that it was because they're trying to move into new territory. They're already popular in other areas of the country and in Europe, but not down here in the south yet. In fact, one of their CDs (we bought two in the end, one studio and one live) says it's distributed by BGM, and owned by Universal Music. That's pretty big for a band that's playing small bars.
Listening to their CDs isn't quite as good, I have to say... seeing them live wasn't just better, it's almost necessary to fully appreciate them. I think Graham might be right with why; he said he thought the singer wasn't using the power in his voice that he probably could, and I think I agree. Although my memory of the songs is loud and vivid, listening to them on the CD makes them sound slightly duller. Still good, though, and well-written too, which always makes a big difference with me. I particularly like the song 'Deeper', probably because I interpret the lyrics in a way that may or may not have been intended, but that I associate with.
I suppose I should be going to bed again. Work has definately stopped for the day, but I really need to do CaliHQ3 tomorrow, and not be distracted to anything else. Unfortunately that means my diary will be pushed another entire week away, 'cause I can't do it in the week because of the TK Maxx effect that working for Cali is causing. It's not so bad, but enough to ensure I won't be in the mood to write about the things I'm writing about.
As always there's lots going on, and I'm finally starting to agree with the people who used to tell me that days were too short when I thought they were far too long. The horrible thing is when your tasks don't have any defined endpoints; of the list of things I had to do that I posted a while ago, all the ones that were single 'events' have been done, and therefore I'm left only with the ongoing jobs. There's only three I'm concerned with at the moment, which are XVII's site, CaliHQ3, and my diary. I'd allocated today and Sunday to CaliHQ3, but I wasted too much of the morning sleeping and spent the evening working on our site instead, which shows how well I keep to my work plans.
I spent the week working for Cali - only four hours a day, but as usual it becomes more than that; not the work itself, but travelling in between, preparing to leave, and the 'settling back in' period once I arrive home. Altogether they probably add at least an hour and a half on to the time. It's been going well though - the application I'm writing is coming along nicely, and Darius' attitude has remained good about everything. On Thursday he even suggested I work at home instead; I'd thought about asking him about it, but decided it wasn't worth disputes over the hours I'd worked. However, he said do the work at home and I'll still pay you the four hours, so I went along with that. Much better, because it means I can put in the four hours anywhere I like and aren't tied to a particular time.
I also asked him about a higher rate, but he said he couldn't afford £10. He probably could, but for as long as I keep getting a free lunch and sometimes a lift home, I'm not too bothered. He said he could put it up by a pound or two, but then it couldn't be by cash - I'd have to be paid monthly, and be taxed. He also said a lot of other things I didn't really understand, so I said okay, keep it as it is for now. He still keeps mentioning how this is a long-term relationship and that there's many more jobs to come for us, and that 'the money will go up and up'.
Graham had another, even longer go at expressing his displeasure to the arrangement, which once again didn't serve much purpose other than creating an argument. I still don't see what the problem is. Somehow I can't see him disagreeing when this money is paying for our expenses and such.
Friday was a little different. Graham phoned me on Thursday evening before he went to work to say Cali was having problems with being slow, and Nicky was asking for someone to go down and sort it out. I didn't see what I was supposed to do about it, but had a look anyway, and did manage to speed up the main refresh query. I put the new version on the live update system... and nothing happened. Turned out that when Graham had set up the clients to use the update system, he forgot to add the sync utility to the startup on the server, so it wasn't running. So, I had to go down to Ringwood Road to double click and icon and move it into the startup group, and then the update went okay.
That was, until the next morning. Graham called me again and said that Nicky had just been on the phone saying the system now wouldn't even start. I couldn't think why, since it had worked for the rest of the night after I updated it. When I ran my local copy though, I discovered I had the problem too; the change I'd made the night before uses a MAX and COUNT query in MySQL - whilst there were still orders in the system everything had been fine, but for some reason if a COUNT operation returns no rows, MySQL gives NULL instead of 0. Visual basic doesn't like NULL, so it was throwing up errors going, OMFG, NULL! What do I do?! Crash! So I fixed the error and put it on live update. Nothing happened again. I got Nicky to drive to Ringwood Road and ensure that sync was started, but it was - it just wasn't working. Not understanding why, I had no choice but to go down there. Luckily she said she'd come and get me, so it wasn't too bad, but I'd only got out of bed to answer the phone so I hadn't had time for a shower or anything, and I hate the feeling of being 'dirty' all day.
When I got there, I discovered that indeed, there was just a bug in the sync utility. It was failing to see that there were updates available. I've no idea why, and even looking through the source I can't see any reason... it's going to be a hard one to track down. Anyway, since I was there, I distributed the fix, and we placed a test order to make sure everything was okay. It just sat there. Great. I quickly realised the problem; the fix to make it faster used the COUNT and MAX to see whether any new orders had been placed or any taken, and only do the full, slow update if it was necesary. However, our system actually takes two refreshes to print an order, because there's a ten second delay to give the operators a chance to correct a mistake if they send an order to the wrong store. First refresh found the order, and the second one would have noticed it was time to print... except there was no second refresh, because the COUNT/MAX detected no change. Oops. So, hurriedly removed that and went back to the slow system, and pondered what to do next.
It was coming up to the time I should leave for Lansdowne, and I wasn't sure whether I should be going or not. Nicky settled that though, by calling Darius and telling him she'd stolen me for the day. So, I settled down to try and find a way to make the system fast again without breaking it. I decided the easiest solution was just remove the ten second delay - which worked, but didn't let anybody know it worked. The clients refreshed and claimed the order for printing, but other clients that refreshed before the one that would take it found the order, showed it's status as 'Waiting'... and never updated that to 'Printed', for the same reason as before. That wasn't really any good either, but then I realised I could solve this by altering the query slightly so that it counted the orders where the printed flag was in a particular state - therefore if any of the printed flag changed, the COUNT/MAX would change, triggering an update. Woo, fixed.
By this time it was about 2:30 and Nicky was about to leave. I wondered whether to ask her to take me back home, but decided to stay in case there were any more problems. When it got to 4ish though, I went home. Unfortunately, because I got stolen, I didn't go to see Darius to get paid... so I suppose that'll now be Monday. Shame, I was looking forward to that bit.
Brief interlude: I just opened KitKat, which you probably know comes as two sticks of biscuit stuck together, intended to be broken apart and eaten separately. As I unwrapped it, I was thinking that I'd eat one bit now, and save the other half for later. As I finshed thinking this, I noticed that both were gone, because I'd eaten them.
More music lately. I learned that The Rasmus had actually been going for quite a long time, so I went to see what was in their back catlogue. Quite a lot it seems, but sadly, it's not very good. Their first couple of albums are so different to their current style. You can actually notice the transition though - they change a bit with each one, and particularly with the album 'Into', which is the last one before the one that got them known over here, 'Dead Letters'. Even the songs seem to be talking about change, as if they knew it was time for a new direction and that this was to be it.
And Audioslave... really loving them. They've not produced very much, but I found out that they were formed with a combination of the band of Rage Against The Machine, and the singer from Soundgarden, which I didn't know, so perhaps I might like some of either of those. From what I've been reading, I will like Soundgarden more than teh Rage. And a particular album by Five For Fighting, called 'The Battle For Everything'. It's probably one of my top plays lately.
Space is running out for more music again, despite all the space I saved be recoding my collection - the flow is just too much to keep up with. I reformatted Biach's hard disk to NTFS instead of FAT32 so I could enable compression, but stupidly neglected to realise that compressing MP3s doesn't do very much. It saved about 200MB out of 14GB, which was barely worth the time it took. I'm going to have to buy a new hard disk sometime, probably before too long.
I had two interesting dreams lately. Interesting to me, anyway, probably not to you. The first was that Shanna was back here, but only for a single day. However, the day wasn't passing - time was staying exactly the same, but this was only because she was ignoring me. Not deliberately, but just... busy, attention on other things than me. I wanted to get her attention, but I knew that if I did, it would use up some of the day, and I didn't want to. I thought I would rather spend forever just having her there, than have the single day actually interacting in any way. So, I just stayed with her, following her around. I woke up several times during this, and strangely the time never seemed to be going forward. I had to check the clock because I had to get up at 11am, but every time I looked it appeared to be the same time. It wasn't, but it felt like it. Finally, the last time I reentered the dream we were sitting on our bed - the one in my grandparent's house, but instead at the edge of a huge room that stretched further than I could see it. Shanna was in the middle, doing something that looked like colouring in pictures in a book, and I was just sat behind her, still just watching. Then I changed my mind. I didn't care any more about using the time, it was better than being able to do nothing more than watch. I wrapped my arms around her tightly from where I was sitting, and indeed she turned her head to look at me. For some reason, I actually wondered why, but the thought 'squish' immidiately answered that for me, and I let go a little. She was still looking at me though, and I felt so... apologetic. I hadn't meant to! I genuinely hadn't... I just wanted to hold her... but then I saw it was okay. She knew I hadn't meant to, and didn't really care either way anyway. She was still looking at me when I woke up for the final time. That probably doesn't mean anything to you, but the feeling of innocence that I had is significant to me for many reasons.
The other dream was just strange more than anything. I was at Graham's and staying the night, but he went to bed without saying anything to me. We were still in his old small room, and since there was only a bed in there, I wandered off to find somewhere else to sleep. I went into the room that I knew was the living room (even though the door actually corresponds to where his new room is), and went to the bed there. There was someone in it, and I thought it was Graham again... but it was Tesla. I didn't want to wake her, but it was too late. She sat up, and kind of... felt sorry for me I suppose. She was being all kind and sympathetic that I was tired and couldn't find anywhere to sleep. I felt like I often do with her - that I don't need what she's trying to tell me or give me or whatever, but that she is genuine in wanting to help, so I accept and appreciate it anyway, regardless of whether I already knew, could have got it myself, done it myself, etc. In this case I'd planned to just go back to Graham's room and sleep on the floor, but Tesla led me to a sofa that was covered in cushions in the corner of the room, and said I could have that. I lay down on it, and she said she'd put on something to help me sleep. Then proceeded to play some heavy metal, and sing along to it. That's the kind of thing that I'd normally think was strange when I woke up, but accept in the dream - on this occasion though, subconcious me was just as bemused as concious me, but again, I just appreciated that she was trying and tried to get to sleep. The sofa was very comfortable, after all. Evidently it wasn't enough though, because she suddenly decided we had to get away from there. So, I found myself sitting next to her on a bus. Neither spoke for a long time, but after we'd been on it for a good hour or so, I began to wonder where we were going, and asked. She didn't know. She just said we had to get as far away as possible so we were going as far as it would take us. I woke up before we got there.
Last night I found a brilliant program, that I wish I'd had years ago, because I don't have much use for it now. It's a kind of porn search engine, but it's not crap. It's extremely well designed and written, and absolutely full of features. Someone really went to a lot of trouble to develop it, and then give it away free. It worked, too. I know because I was tempted enough to try it. It works extremely well. It's just a pity I only came across it now that my interest has faded - after 30 minutes or so, I was bored and resumed searching for what I'd been looking for originally when I found it - a freeware game of JezzBall. I still feel it deserves to be shared though, just in case anybody would like it. Can't think of anybody on my friends list that would... but you never know. Here it is. Actually, maybe it's best that I didn't find it before, or I'd have no hard disk space left. Well, not that I have much now.
I spent last night reading some letters that Shanna sent to me a while ago. 'tis interesting to compare expectations of what was then the future, with what actually happened in what now is the past. Some was quite accurate, some wasn't, but that doesn't really matter; the thoughts were true even when they're not accurate, so in that sense, they still stand now. I've always tried to be quite careful with my predictions, which usually consist of just believing that everything will be fine, because that tends to be true. I work too much by instinct for it to be worth guessing my future reactions to things, whether I could or not.
Ezio! I almost forgot them! I think it was last Saturday... or something... don't know, lost track of time, but Graham called me one evening and asked if I wanted to see a new band. It was only a few minutes notice, but I agreed anyway - it's usually worth it. I'd never even heard of them before, but the list of influences Graham told me sounded promising. Indeed, even the support act was good, and when one of the people who worked there announced there were CDs being sold at the back, we went to get one. He'd meant CDs of Ezio though, not the support act, so obviously we weren't going to buy one until we'd heard them, but I was expecting to want to at the end of the night. They were good - not actually like any of the bands I'd been told, but 'influenced' was definately the right word - they were what you might get if you made some kind of combination of those bands, and then added something to make it unique. It was all acoustic guitar with bass and drums, and the singer (who was actually called Ezio) has a great voice. I found myself liking pretty much everything they played, and not just that; they were great fun in the gaps between songs too, really entertaining the crowd. Amazingly, it wasn't busy there, and the tickets were very very cheap. We think though, that it was because they're trying to move into new territory. They're already popular in other areas of the country and in Europe, but not down here in the south yet. In fact, one of their CDs (we bought two in the end, one studio and one live) says it's distributed by BGM, and owned by Universal Music. That's pretty big for a band that's playing small bars.
Listening to their CDs isn't quite as good, I have to say... seeing them live wasn't just better, it's almost necessary to fully appreciate them. I think Graham might be right with why; he said he thought the singer wasn't using the power in his voice that he probably could, and I think I agree. Although my memory of the songs is loud and vivid, listening to them on the CD makes them sound slightly duller. Still good, though, and well-written too, which always makes a big difference with me. I particularly like the song 'Deeper', probably because I interpret the lyrics in a way that may or may not have been intended, but that I associate with.
I suppose I should be going to bed again. Work has definately stopped for the day, but I really need to do CaliHQ3 tomorrow, and not be distracted to anything else. Unfortunately that means my diary will be pushed another entire week away, 'cause I can't do it in the week because of the TK Maxx effect that working for Cali is causing. It's not so bad, but enough to ensure I won't be in the mood to write about the things I'm writing about.