(no subject)
ok where to start, sometimes its hard to let yourself open up, and i know personally i am prone to keeping things in. This last year i have learned a lot about myself and soo many people around me. There have been good times and bad, and times i wouldnt trade for anything. Senior year coming to a close in a few short months, what does this mean for me? my future?
A huge part of me feels there is no way to escape the past, unless i make a change, the past is not all bad, however i feel a change is just what i need to grow as an individual. I feel if i dont move away now, that i will miss the opportunity to mature and experience all those things which can never be replaced. I didnt get in to San Diego which was an extreme letdown of all my hopes, because San diego and me, we were made for each other baby, or at least i thought so. But truthfully who knows? Sometimes i wish things never changed. things were so perfect at times, and then without a trace were blown back into unknowingness and disregard.
I miss someone, summertime brought me happiness and a more stable outlook on life. things were peaceful and i had time to reflect on everything, why is it you dont know what you have until its gone. i had her and shes gone, our summertime fling was more onesided than not, and i wish i had been smarter and not been such a guy. I sometimes wonder why people change so much, and it leads me to think that there is not necessarily a reason, but it is just whats meant to be.
Change is the overall theme of my life these days, soon i will be abandoning all prior habits, people, and surroundings in which i have become so familiar these last 17 almost 18 years. Change can make you stronger yet it can also tear you apart. Is moving away rite for me? can i make it on my own? these questions are as vague to me as they aer to you. is making a drastic change rite for me? I just know im on the verge of a major revelation, an epihany of sorts. and as soon as i find the answer i will know.
A huge part of me feels there is no way to escape the past, unless i make a change, the past is not all bad, however i feel a change is just what i need to grow as an individual. I feel if i dont move away now, that i will miss the opportunity to mature and experience all those things which can never be replaced. I didnt get in to San Diego which was an extreme letdown of all my hopes, because San diego and me, we were made for each other baby, or at least i thought so. But truthfully who knows? Sometimes i wish things never changed. things were so perfect at times, and then without a trace were blown back into unknowingness and disregard.
I miss someone, summertime brought me happiness and a more stable outlook on life. things were peaceful and i had time to reflect on everything, why is it you dont know what you have until its gone. i had her and shes gone, our summertime fling was more onesided than not, and i wish i had been smarter and not been such a guy. I sometimes wonder why people change so much, and it leads me to think that there is not necessarily a reason, but it is just whats meant to be.
Change is the overall theme of my life these days, soon i will be abandoning all prior habits, people, and surroundings in which i have become so familiar these last 17 almost 18 years. Change can make you stronger yet it can also tear you apart. Is moving away rite for me? can i make it on my own? these questions are as vague to me as they aer to you. is making a drastic change rite for me? I just know im on the verge of a major revelation, an epihany of sorts. and as soon as i find the answer i will know.