(no subject)
Wow i am so bored rite now, i just cant get used to being grounded,. i feel so cooped up. and im going crazzzzzzzy. Parties parties parties everywhere and i cant go. but then i start to question myself, are these parties worth it? worth the risk im taking in lying to my parents repeatedly? they really arent... there is just nothing else to do on a friday or saturday nite. I dont kow what im going to do, i dont want to continue with these devious ways, my parents trust is already at an extremely low level. and once i get my car back i guess ill just take it easy for a while. I just wish none of this would have happened, I was stupid for publicly posting my pictures, and now im living with the consequences. Im still really hurt by what my sister did, i know deeeeeeep down it was because she cared, but i cant get past that phasad at the moment, im just set on hating her, and being resentful. a lot of people say be the bigger man. i just have sooo much pride, i cant conceive that easily, Ya im stubborn i know, and that has gotten me into lots of trouble..I feel like this may be a turning point in my life. I mean i just turned 17, and im now just starting to realize how immature we ALL can be at times. I dont need this, i just want to enjoy my life, free from punishments, i dont want to lose anyones trust, and i definitely dont want toendanger myself. My parents have taught me many valuable lessons through out life, so even if i dont understand their reason for imposing these HARSH punishments i will one day. Im really struggling with out my car, but every day that goes by i guess it gets a little better. I was stupid and didnt listen to my dad when he told me he would take my car away. again my fault for openly disobeying him. Im realllllllly missing my gym membership, this is one punishment which i just dont understand, y take that away?? thats the only thing that keeps me sane at times, working out is an outlet, and especially at a time like this. I miss powerhouse...aahhhh.. oh well ive let out enough steam for one nite, i usually dont post things like this, but for the last 2 weeks this has been the only thing constantly permeating my thoughts, nite and day.. i need something to get my mind off it..