It's all so different.
The mere thought of falling in love with someone new is so exciting, yet, so scary. After seriously seeing someone for 2 or more years, you start to see yourself with them your whole life, loving someone else, or being with someone else is out of the question. When that feeling goes away, and you're not with that person anymore, it feels like a huge chunk or your heart and mind are ripped from you. All the feelings of love are gone, and you see them only as a friend. It hurts so much but, I guess that's how life goes sometimes.
I'm in that situation. I have fallen out of love and trying not to fall back in with someone new. Love can make you so happy yet hurt you so much. I don't want to get hurt. I have found myself handing out my heart to a few chosen that I thought were different then they quickly proved to me they were just like the other guy. I found someone that proved to me he was different, fell into the "just another guy" catagory, and just recently has been occupying every single one of my thoughts and feelings because he is "different" and he's not like the rest of them. He underestimates himself. He has no idea.
He cares. He makes an effort to watch out for me. He's amazing. I get butterflies every time we kiss. He makes me want to be a better me. It's so refreshing. I'm insanely happy. I missed him so much.
Tonight it hurt so much to have someone say to me, "I thought we were going to be together forever and maybe get married, I guess I really need to try to let go of you." All I wanted to do was cry because I feel like I've let him down. I never imagined my feelings changing. I was 16, I'll be 19 in a month. I have grown up these last 3 years. I have more confidence, a better grasp of who I am and who I want to be in life. I see him in my life for a long time, just not like I used to. He may be my soulmate, but not in the sence that we're going to get married. He's my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, the one that gives me advice and will always be there for me. I don't want to hurt him but I feel like that's all I'm doing by liking someone else. I've never been in this situation so it's so hard.
It's hard to let go completely.
There's nothing but complete chaos going on in my head. I want what I can't have and something I can have I don't want. It's a lose/lose situation right now.
So cliche but, "time will only tell." Too bad I'm impatient and want to know now.
I'm in that situation. I have fallen out of love and trying not to fall back in with someone new. Love can make you so happy yet hurt you so much. I don't want to get hurt. I have found myself handing out my heart to a few chosen that I thought were different then they quickly proved to me they were just like the other guy. I found someone that proved to me he was different, fell into the "just another guy" catagory, and just recently has been occupying every single one of my thoughts and feelings because he is "different" and he's not like the rest of them. He underestimates himself. He has no idea.
He cares. He makes an effort to watch out for me. He's amazing. I get butterflies every time we kiss. He makes me want to be a better me. It's so refreshing. I'm insanely happy. I missed him so much.
Tonight it hurt so much to have someone say to me, "I thought we were going to be together forever and maybe get married, I guess I really need to try to let go of you." All I wanted to do was cry because I feel like I've let him down. I never imagined my feelings changing. I was 16, I'll be 19 in a month. I have grown up these last 3 years. I have more confidence, a better grasp of who I am and who I want to be in life. I see him in my life for a long time, just not like I used to. He may be my soulmate, but not in the sence that we're going to get married. He's my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, the one that gives me advice and will always be there for me. I don't want to hurt him but I feel like that's all I'm doing by liking someone else. I've never been in this situation so it's so hard.
It's hard to let go completely.
There's nothing but complete chaos going on in my head. I want what I can't have and something I can have I don't want. It's a lose/lose situation right now.
So cliche but, "time will only tell." Too bad I'm impatient and want to know now.