life of late

[allpurposeflowr]

times like this make me question all the times i've looked at life as something heavy or burdensome. times like now, when it all seems like i'm living through a laughable, real life spinny-eyed mystery tour. i was originally going to spend this summer in spain, but instead stayed in santa cruz to have an extremely relaxing, though financially disastrous, multifarious summer. tahoe, with the parasailing and such was certainly a highlight. so were all those days i spent doing whatever the hell i felt like. gosh, it's nice not to have a job... but that's not to say i'm not incredibly grateful to have one now. because, well, it's also really nice to eat, and sleep under a roof. there were hobbies i wanted to pursue this summer, like dance and hemp jewelry making, but didn't get to it due to money shortages. oh well... i think my time has been spent valuably. always learning new things about myself. learning to trust my own survival abilities, though i've had to fall back on my dad for some money a couple times. being away from home was a good choice for me. very liberating. not that i don't love my mom. i do, muchly. i've cried the last few times we've had to separate, in fact. when our visits have an expiration date they tend to be much more tender and kind. anywayyyzz... i need to find a place to live!! somewhere nice, even! i'm gonna miss living with tina in this nice apartment. :( i hope to find a different job when school starts. something through work study, hopefully.

moving... hm... that reminds me... i should go to the beach alot these next few weeks while i still can so easily..!