bleh
I've been pretty strange lately, I've been wondering if it's because of the adderall I've had difficulty being steady on it and going on / off messes with one a little until you adjust to being on it all the time but, obviously, in order to adjust I have to keep taking it daily. I just forget sometimes. Rawr.
I think because it makes me overthink for a while, I begin to look into things more than I normally would, which for some things is fantastic, for other things, not so great. You begin to find problems in places where there really aren't any by considering all possibilities no matter how far fetched, but once you think of something, you can't really get it out of your head as being possible, and if you look for signs of things, you'll find them. They won't really be a sign of anything, but because that's what you're trying to connect it with without realizing it, it becomes that to you .Okay I know that made no sense at all, but I don't have to make sense.
Ow , fuck, i hurt my back somehow and now i just hit my head on the bottom of the top bunk which has sharp spring things on it so it really fucking hurt. Somehow no one in here noticed. Granted, I'm far from ignored, like, ever, but lately I've been the pickiest, neediest, most demanding person ever and I don't know why. I think it's some desperate attempt to gain control of something since I can't seem to control my thoughts and adderall at the moment, and also just trying to disprove things that my mind thorws at me. Unfortunately I think this is making me a horrible person to be around, but who knows, maybe this is just me overanalyzing again -_-.
Basically I think I'm going slightly crazy. Or rather, crazier. hah.
I've been like crazy insecure, really weird old insecurities, even ones that I thought were gone keep resurfacing, worries that don't have much foundation are popping up everywhere and over everything, and the tiniest things seem to bother, offend, or affect me in some negative way. My moods are all over the place, changing like every five minutes and with the teeniest triggers. I don't know, it's just bizzare.
I think because it makes me overthink for a while, I begin to look into things more than I normally would, which for some things is fantastic, for other things, not so great. You begin to find problems in places where there really aren't any by considering all possibilities no matter how far fetched, but once you think of something, you can't really get it out of your head as being possible, and if you look for signs of things, you'll find them. They won't really be a sign of anything, but because that's what you're trying to connect it with without realizing it, it becomes that to you .Okay I know that made no sense at all, but I don't have to make sense.
Ow , fuck, i hurt my back somehow and now i just hit my head on the bottom of the top bunk which has sharp spring things on it so it really fucking hurt. Somehow no one in here noticed. Granted, I'm far from ignored, like, ever, but lately I've been the pickiest, neediest, most demanding person ever and I don't know why. I think it's some desperate attempt to gain control of something since I can't seem to control my thoughts and adderall at the moment, and also just trying to disprove things that my mind thorws at me. Unfortunately I think this is making me a horrible person to be around, but who knows, maybe this is just me overanalyzing again -_-.
Basically I think I'm going slightly crazy. Or rather, crazier. hah.
I've been like crazy insecure, really weird old insecurities, even ones that I thought were gone keep resurfacing, worries that don't have much foundation are popping up everywhere and over everything, and the tiniest things seem to bother, offend, or affect me in some negative way. My moods are all over the place, changing like every five minutes and with the teeniest triggers. I don't know, it's just bizzare.