California here i come
Yeah my living room is empty right now. No furniture nothing. My dad is moved into his new place and my mom is on the verge of a mental breakdown. She keeps looking to me like i am supposed to make it all better but i cant. i cant deal with her problems. Sorry if i sound mean but i just cant do it. She keeps breaking out into tears and i feel like i'm being a cold hearted bitch because i cant take her pain away. Shit happens. Yeah it hurts but what hurts you more is dwelling on the past instead of the future. I dont know what to say. I dont know what to do. Its like someone is shoving these directions at me that are in chinese and i'm supposed to figure out where they are leading me to. I dont know how to react.
i just got home from my uncles apartment. We were talking about the California trip. and its final!!!! I'm going to California!! W00T! I'm so excited. i need to get away from this house because my mom is driving me crazy. Its so wierd. This whole divorce thing. Its hard to take in that my mom is my sole guardian and my dad is living some place else. I dont know what to think about it. I think i am the only one who can act calm when everything else around me is chaotic. I think that if i was in a building that was on fire, everyone else would be running around me trying to shove out one door and i can see myself standing in the middle of the room not moving until everything else has settled down. Maybe i should be freaking out and throwing a nervous fit or lashing out like other children do after their parents get a divorce. But i dont know. maybe i am not normal enough to act like a human being. This kinda sucks a lot. But I need the trip to california for my own mental health or i will go crazy.
Tomorrow i am going over to my grandpas house for fathers day. I dont know how i am going to give my own dad his card because... o wait.. he dosent live here....
i just got home from my uncles apartment. We were talking about the California trip. and its final!!!! I'm going to California!! W00T! I'm so excited. i need to get away from this house because my mom is driving me crazy. Its so wierd. This whole divorce thing. Its hard to take in that my mom is my sole guardian and my dad is living some place else. I dont know what to think about it. I think i am the only one who can act calm when everything else around me is chaotic. I think that if i was in a building that was on fire, everyone else would be running around me trying to shove out one door and i can see myself standing in the middle of the room not moving until everything else has settled down. Maybe i should be freaking out and throwing a nervous fit or lashing out like other children do after their parents get a divorce. But i dont know. maybe i am not normal enough to act like a human being. This kinda sucks a lot. But I need the trip to california for my own mental health or i will go crazy.
Tomorrow i am going over to my grandpas house for fathers day. I dont know how i am going to give my own dad his card because... o wait.. he dosent live here....