Spring Break: Days 3-5
You may have noticed I'm a little behind on my Spring Break updates, for which I would like to apologize. I'm done fucking around.
Friday came and went really fast. I worked at my mom's agency all day answering phones, filing, dusting, and being a regular babe. That last part is my true full time job. Mom and Dad drove down to the cities to take Ellen out for a birthday dinner, so I had the house to my self. So I did what sometimes needs to be done on a Friday night home alone: lots of cocaine. Fooled you! I rented Season 4 of House, M.D. That show is crazy. After about 5 episodes it gets really predicatable, but then you're invested and there's no turning back. I also rented the horror film Mirrors with Keifer Sutherland. I lasted about 5 minutes because the opening scene featured a dude's reflection in a mirror slitting his throat and spraying blood everywhere. It's not that I couldn't stomach it; I just have no respect for scary movies that open with no finesse. I also enjoyed a 10 o'clock batch of Spongebob Squarepants Mac & Cheese. I could have and even would have eaten the whole box if Lucy wouldn't have tried to eat my second bowl while I got up to get some more water (read: whiskey).
Saturday I worked at the group home all day. That was a mixed bag. I love the clients and we get along great. It's staff I have some issues with. Or maybe they have issues with me. I don't really feel like going into it...plus, it's not very Spring Breaky. Let's just say I was pretty wound up when I got home. The weather was gorgeous, so I went for a run on the Lakewalk, which was spectacular. I saw a lot of deer grazing in someone's backyard. They watched me run by without reaction.
Amy was in town on Saturday night! So we went out to sing karaoke. We agreed to choose our first songs for each other without telling each other what they were. I kicked off the night with a little Marvin Gaye-- "Let's Get It On." Excellent choice on her part! I picked "At Last" by Etta James. Needless to say, she nailed it. It was really, really busy with all the Spring-Breakers and such, so we each got one other song in. I sang "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain, and Ames sang "Baby One More Time" by Britney. As the night was winding down we were approach by a 21 year-old Norwegian lad named Sven. He thought we were the cat's pajamas. At one point he said we should go flying together, as he is studying aviation. Sure you are! I said.
Sunday came and went pretty quietly. I wasn't hungover really, just really, really tired and still pissed off from my work shift the previous day. I watched a lot more House and went on another run outside. It was much chillier, but at least I saw a bald eagle flying along the shore.
I'm at a crossroads right now with my new job. One one hand, it's good experience, the economy is shitty as ever, and I'm lucky to have a job. But to me, that's kind of the same thing as saying I'm lucky to be miserable. So far it just kind of sucks balls, and I'm wondering what's the line between refusing to put up with a shitty job and bucking up and living with it.
The sucky part is, I get along well with the clients...but I'm not treated well by management and that may not change. Everyone who works there is either related or has known everyone else since about age seven. On my first day I had someone warn me about "office politics" like gossip and favoritism. I have a gross feeling that no matter how long I work there or how well I do, I'll never gain respect. In fact, it seems the better I do with the clients and the job tasks, the more I'm criticized and lectured. And that's bullshit.
On Saturday I gave one of the clients, Kathy, her shower and then helped her get ready for Mass later that evening. She even asked me to curl her hair, which she said she hadn't done for her since her mother passed away. That fact was confirmed by other staff. But before my shift was over, my coworker, who is in no way my superior/manager, pulled me aside and said I was spending too much time with Kathy and that I needed to be careful about "favoring" her. BULLSHIT SANDWICH.
I'm wondering if this is a lesson that's hitting me over the head. I just spend a year working a job I forced myself to be okay with because I thought I could go somewhere, or at least gain respect and recognition for all my hard work. After more than 9 months, a raise was just plain out of the question. When I finally took a fulltime position for 50 more cents an hour, thank GOD I realized how much I was wasting my time. Maybe it's time to face facts again, but without waiting a whole year.
Lately I've been a huge stickler about trying to see the "lesson" in things. I'm on this "everything has a reason" kick in which I force myself to be ever-optimistic, flexibl, and easy-going. Sometimes I think this mindset leads me to stay with things I don't like, put up with shit that pisses me off, and not speak my truth. Maybe the lesson here is bullshit is bullshit.
Friday came and went really fast. I worked at my mom's agency all day answering phones, filing, dusting, and being a regular babe. That last part is my true full time job. Mom and Dad drove down to the cities to take Ellen out for a birthday dinner, so I had the house to my self. So I did what sometimes needs to be done on a Friday night home alone: lots of cocaine. Fooled you! I rented Season 4 of House, M.D. That show is crazy. After about 5 episodes it gets really predicatable, but then you're invested and there's no turning back. I also rented the horror film Mirrors with Keifer Sutherland. I lasted about 5 minutes because the opening scene featured a dude's reflection in a mirror slitting his throat and spraying blood everywhere. It's not that I couldn't stomach it; I just have no respect for scary movies that open with no finesse. I also enjoyed a 10 o'clock batch of Spongebob Squarepants Mac & Cheese. I could have and even would have eaten the whole box if Lucy wouldn't have tried to eat my second bowl while I got up to get some more water (read: whiskey).
Saturday I worked at the group home all day. That was a mixed bag. I love the clients and we get along great. It's staff I have some issues with. Or maybe they have issues with me. I don't really feel like going into it...plus, it's not very Spring Breaky. Let's just say I was pretty wound up when I got home. The weather was gorgeous, so I went for a run on the Lakewalk, which was spectacular. I saw a lot of deer grazing in someone's backyard. They watched me run by without reaction.
Amy was in town on Saturday night! So we went out to sing karaoke. We agreed to choose our first songs for each other without telling each other what they were. I kicked off the night with a little Marvin Gaye-- "Let's Get It On." Excellent choice on her part! I picked "At Last" by Etta James. Needless to say, she nailed it. It was really, really busy with all the Spring-Breakers and such, so we each got one other song in. I sang "Man, I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain, and Ames sang "Baby One More Time" by Britney. As the night was winding down we were approach by a 21 year-old Norwegian lad named Sven. He thought we were the cat's pajamas. At one point he said we should go flying together, as he is studying aviation. Sure you are! I said.
Sunday came and went pretty quietly. I wasn't hungover really, just really, really tired and still pissed off from my work shift the previous day. I watched a lot more House and went on another run outside. It was much chillier, but at least I saw a bald eagle flying along the shore.
I'm at a crossroads right now with my new job. One one hand, it's good experience, the economy is shitty as ever, and I'm lucky to have a job. But to me, that's kind of the same thing as saying I'm lucky to be miserable. So far it just kind of sucks balls, and I'm wondering what's the line between refusing to put up with a shitty job and bucking up and living with it.
The sucky part is, I get along well with the clients...but I'm not treated well by management and that may not change. Everyone who works there is either related or has known everyone else since about age seven. On my first day I had someone warn me about "office politics" like gossip and favoritism. I have a gross feeling that no matter how long I work there or how well I do, I'll never gain respect. In fact, it seems the better I do with the clients and the job tasks, the more I'm criticized and lectured. And that's bullshit.
On Saturday I gave one of the clients, Kathy, her shower and then helped her get ready for Mass later that evening. She even asked me to curl her hair, which she said she hadn't done for her since her mother passed away. That fact was confirmed by other staff. But before my shift was over, my coworker, who is in no way my superior/manager, pulled me aside and said I was spending too much time with Kathy and that I needed to be careful about "favoring" her. BULLSHIT SANDWICH.
I'm wondering if this is a lesson that's hitting me over the head. I just spend a year working a job I forced myself to be okay with because I thought I could go somewhere, or at least gain respect and recognition for all my hard work. After more than 9 months, a raise was just plain out of the question. When I finally took a fulltime position for 50 more cents an hour, thank GOD I realized how much I was wasting my time. Maybe it's time to face facts again, but without waiting a whole year.
Lately I've been a huge stickler about trying to see the "lesson" in things. I'm on this "everything has a reason" kick in which I force myself to be ever-optimistic, flexibl, and easy-going. Sometimes I think this mindset leads me to stay with things I don't like, put up with shit that pisses me off, and not speak my truth. Maybe the lesson here is bullshit is bullshit.