wow...
well i've come to the conclusion that i will no longer plan anything for anyone but me...reading journals and journal comments have brought me to the conclusion that there were some people that just weren't there as "friends"...i thought that we all had about the same notion as to what a friend is...now i see differently...
i went through ALOT of hell, and still am, from this lil get-together in oshkosh...it involves much more than just "actions and reactions"..i now can not buy all of the books for my classes this semister...i now have lost someone i thought was a dear friend for the past 3 years...and this has also showed me the true colors of some...
yes, i was extremely upset with how everything happened...yes, i was fucked around with for the 2 weeks during the planning...yes, i found out the most heart-wrenching information that very same night..but am i putting the blame on others? am i saying "im embarrassed of so and so?" am i saying that "this happened because of so and so"..no, im not..i know my actions were not the best...i had a night just like EVERY single one of you has had at some point or another..but yet, i somehow get blamed for everything turning out like shit...a true friend would put themselves in my place and see the complete horror of it all...
u know, i would go into detail as to why things happened as they did...but i really feel as if it would be pointless...certain people have not even TRIED to understand the situation behind the actions...instead they say that it was all embarrassing and they are ashamed...are you my parents?...do you have some kind of connection to me to have those feelings?...are you ashamed because you couldn't control my feelings?..well shit, a true friend would have tried to understand instead of placing blame on me...
who the fuck is anyone to think they have the right to judge another?...i always thought the idea of a "friend" was another that has a connection with you...one of the emotional..one of understanding...but i guess thats all just the way a fantasy friend would be..
whatever im sooooo done...it saddens me to see how some people don't even try to understand anything...it's just a lot easier to be ashamed and embarrassed of others
i went through ALOT of hell, and still am, from this lil get-together in oshkosh...it involves much more than just "actions and reactions"..i now can not buy all of the books for my classes this semister...i now have lost someone i thought was a dear friend for the past 3 years...and this has also showed me the true colors of some...
yes, i was extremely upset with how everything happened...yes, i was fucked around with for the 2 weeks during the planning...yes, i found out the most heart-wrenching information that very same night..but am i putting the blame on others? am i saying "im embarrassed of so and so?" am i saying that "this happened because of so and so"..no, im not..i know my actions were not the best...i had a night just like EVERY single one of you has had at some point or another..but yet, i somehow get blamed for everything turning out like shit...a true friend would put themselves in my place and see the complete horror of it all...
u know, i would go into detail as to why things happened as they did...but i really feel as if it would be pointless...certain people have not even TRIED to understand the situation behind the actions...instead they say that it was all embarrassing and they are ashamed...are you my parents?...do you have some kind of connection to me to have those feelings?...are you ashamed because you couldn't control my feelings?..well shit, a true friend would have tried to understand instead of placing blame on me...
who the fuck is anyone to think they have the right to judge another?...i always thought the idea of a "friend" was another that has a connection with you...one of the emotional..one of understanding...but i guess thats all just the way a fantasy friend would be..
whatever im sooooo done...it saddens me to see how some people don't even try to understand anything...it's just a lot easier to be ashamed and embarrassed of others