In a Parallel Universe, There's Another me who's Actually With the Person I'm Not
Still on crappy internet connection, but for some reason, whenever I get home I get introspective, so I'm airing my thoughts.
I'm always a little amazed when I realize how much I've changed in two years, but a part of me thinks Reveritgo is lurking just around the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with How I Met Your Mother, Reveritgo is the phenomenon of turning back into someone you once were when you run into a person/go back to a place that is from your past. Everyone has regrets, things they wished had happened and things they wish had never happened. It's difficult not to think about what life would be like if you did Z differently, or if your relationship with A turned out to be more than friends, or if you never bothered with Y at all. I tend to get wrapped up in all that more than others, I feel. Not regrets so much, but the what ifs.
I've had too many instances in the past year of people not being who I thought they were. I was hurt by one occurrence, surprised by the other, and simply embarrassed that I didn't realize it earlier by a third. I'm frankly...really tired of this. I don't know if it's my fault for not sizing people up, or too much expectations, or what. But it just makes the "what ifs" worse, because I feel utterly pathetic sometimes for thinking about something that I know wouldn't go the way in my head.
I don't know. Sometimes being back here drives me crazy.
I'm always a little amazed when I realize how much I've changed in two years, but a part of me thinks Reveritgo is lurking just around the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with How I Met Your Mother, Reveritgo is the phenomenon of turning back into someone you once were when you run into a person/go back to a place that is from your past. Everyone has regrets, things they wished had happened and things they wish had never happened. It's difficult not to think about what life would be like if you did Z differently, or if your relationship with A turned out to be more than friends, or if you never bothered with Y at all. I tend to get wrapped up in all that more than others, I feel. Not regrets so much, but the what ifs.
I've had too many instances in the past year of people not being who I thought they were. I was hurt by one occurrence, surprised by the other, and simply embarrassed that I didn't realize it earlier by a third. I'm frankly...really tired of this. I don't know if it's my fault for not sizing people up, or too much expectations, or what. But it just makes the "what ifs" worse, because I feel utterly pathetic sometimes for thinking about something that I know wouldn't go the way in my head.
I don't know. Sometimes being back here drives me crazy.