(no subject)
ok...reality check...
I don't really want to go back to Danny. It's just that I am so miserable here that anything seems better than this. For every dollar I make, my brother takes two. I am NOT getting ahead here. I am not getting my self esteem back here. I am not getting anything I need here. The only thing I'm getting up here is disgust. Disgust that a family member could and would take advantage of my situation and use it to HIS best interest.
so yeah...in a way...even life with Danny seems preferable to the life I'm living here. At least with him I had freedom. I had self esteem. I had a life. Here...I have nothing except that which my brother and his girlfriend wish to give me...which is nothing.
On my days off, I sit and wait. Wait for what I don't know. But I have no car...and I have no money, even though I work 40+ hours a week. They take all I earn and say it's rent for one thing or another. Those days off are long and useless. I do nothing. I don't even get on the 'puter' becuz I think my life is so pitiful.
Here I have nothing and no one. I don't even have use of a phone. I am more isolated here than I've ever felt anywhere.
I am alone.
And I am lonely.
I don't really want to go back to Danny. It's just that I am so miserable here that anything seems better than this. For every dollar I make, my brother takes two. I am NOT getting ahead here. I am not getting my self esteem back here. I am not getting anything I need here. The only thing I'm getting up here is disgust. Disgust that a family member could and would take advantage of my situation and use it to HIS best interest.
so yeah...in a way...even life with Danny seems preferable to the life I'm living here. At least with him I had freedom. I had self esteem. I had a life. Here...I have nothing except that which my brother and his girlfriend wish to give me...which is nothing.
On my days off, I sit and wait. Wait for what I don't know. But I have no car...and I have no money, even though I work 40+ hours a week. They take all I earn and say it's rent for one thing or another. Those days off are long and useless. I do nothing. I don't even get on the 'puter' becuz I think my life is so pitiful.
Here I have nothing and no one. I don't even have use of a phone. I am more isolated here than I've ever felt anywhere.
I am alone.
And I am lonely.