There's got to be something better than in the middle.
we were friends,
whyd you hurt me the way you did?
im awake, wide awake.
i feel like my sleep has changed,
like im surviving with less & less sleep.
not because i want to of course..
but its like my mind wont let me sleep in ://
wtf is that all about?
ive had a pretty adventurous week so far,
starting with memorial day weekend..
me, jay, amy, meg lovin & baby jay all went camping for the nite at browns creek.
i had a blast, got too drunk infront of little ones
& was called out by a 7 year old.
i explained to him that if he didnt leave me the fuck alone
he was going to get eaten by the boogy monster with long creepy nails..
but i dont think he took me seriously after slurring my words everywhere ://
fuckin punk.
sunday nite was mias 21st birthday,
so naturally i dressed up like a little slut & surprised her at latitude.
she loved it :D
we def balled too hard that nite,
i honestly dont remember leaving but i know we had the fucking time of our lifes!
i woke up to stories of melissa letting some creep named frank
put icecubes down my butt crack to wake me up.
best friend everrr.
i did get ihop the next day while looking like a fucking rockstar
& having my sister puke it all up in front of the parking lot<33
mias 21 run lasted another 2 more days
which involved creepy pirate bars, creepers at gay bars,
shoeless bums, seducing cab drivers with my rapping,
lava lamps & too many shots to count.
i balled so hard i thought it was my 21st XDD
all in all ive been having a fucking blast.
i obviously gave up on the dieting..
i lost like 12lbs & gave up..
i just could deal without my boy coors that long,
i felt like i was giving up on my only friend i had left! XDD
i honestly could care less right now,
i kind of dig the size im at,
dont get me wrong, id love to be a size 7
and run around naked all the time,
but im pretty ok with my looks for the moment
so fuckk itt- id rather be happy than starving for a 12 rack.
works kind of whatev at the moment,
everyday i work i have less & less will to carry on.
im honestly thinking about becoming a prostitute.
i could be a believable slut?
if only you didnt actually have to sleep with people to be a whore :///
why cant people just pay me to hangout?
one day.. im sure of it.
i applied to be a walmart greeter yesterday,
im hoping to get a callback real soon..
mia said i might be over qualified to be a greeter though,
on account of i have all my teeth ://
i wonder if thats a requirement?
i need a night time job.
preferably one that doesnt involve any sort of human interaction..
im so over customer service.
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else.
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same.
ive been hanging out with fave cuz alot lately,
she gave me a key to her place & said i could come over whenever..
i just dont want to over stay my welcome ://
it sucks not having a place of your own.
i feel like ive been unwanted & unwelcomed since january,
and i still have nowhere to go :[[
she hasnt made me feel like that though,
its been so nice catching up with her about everything..
its kind of like were going through the same changes in our life
& i love having someone to talk to who can actually relate :]]
she gives alot of good advice & is just my favorite right now<33
theres alot coming up this june,
im excited for the reunion!
i cant wait to see my lil bro<33
its been waaay too long since ive seen that kid
& i cant let this much time pass by without him in my life.
i must be the worlds worst sister for not
trying harder to be apart of his life ://
carleens death date is coming up at the end of the month too,
i cant believe its almost been 4 years.
im trying not to think about it but it still gets to me every year.
i still havent finished the quilt & left all that stuff in texas,
i wish i didnt even say id make it,
its just too draining & i just never wanted to make time
to work on a fucking blanket for my dead friends mom.
i just dont know what to do anymore.
im in love with "me & cinderella" by magnolia,
idk why but i feel like i can relate to that song sooo much,
especially these past few weeks ://
on a more positive side i have been okay for the most part,
some days are better than others.
i have been making new friends & whatnot which im digging,
im just ready for more change :]]
whyd you hurt me the way you did?
im awake, wide awake.
i feel like my sleep has changed,
like im surviving with less & less sleep.
not because i want to of course..
but its like my mind wont let me sleep in ://
wtf is that all about?
ive had a pretty adventurous week so far,
starting with memorial day weekend..
me, jay, amy, meg lovin & baby jay all went camping for the nite at browns creek.
i had a blast, got too drunk infront of little ones
& was called out by a 7 year old.
i explained to him that if he didnt leave me the fuck alone
he was going to get eaten by the boogy monster with long creepy nails..
but i dont think he took me seriously after slurring my words everywhere ://
fuckin punk.
sunday nite was mias 21st birthday,
so naturally i dressed up like a little slut & surprised her at latitude.
she loved it :D
we def balled too hard that nite,
i honestly dont remember leaving but i know we had the fucking time of our lifes!
i woke up to stories of melissa letting some creep named frank
put icecubes down my butt crack to wake me up.
best friend everrr.
i did get ihop the next day while looking like a fucking rockstar
& having my sister puke it all up in front of the parking lot<33
mias 21 run lasted another 2 more days
which involved creepy pirate bars, creepers at gay bars,
shoeless bums, seducing cab drivers with my rapping,
lava lamps & too many shots to count.
i balled so hard i thought it was my 21st XDD
all in all ive been having a fucking blast.
i obviously gave up on the dieting..
i lost like 12lbs & gave up..
i just could deal without my boy coors that long,
i felt like i was giving up on my only friend i had left! XDD
i honestly could care less right now,
i kind of dig the size im at,
dont get me wrong, id love to be a size 7
and run around naked all the time,
but im pretty ok with my looks for the moment
so fuckk itt- id rather be happy than starving for a 12 rack.
works kind of whatev at the moment,
everyday i work i have less & less will to carry on.
im honestly thinking about becoming a prostitute.
i could be a believable slut?
if only you didnt actually have to sleep with people to be a whore :///
why cant people just pay me to hangout?
one day.. im sure of it.
i applied to be a walmart greeter yesterday,
im hoping to get a callback real soon..
mia said i might be over qualified to be a greeter though,
on account of i have all my teeth ://
i wonder if thats a requirement?
i need a night time job.
preferably one that doesnt involve any sort of human interaction..
im so over customer service.
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else.
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same.
ive been hanging out with fave cuz alot lately,
she gave me a key to her place & said i could come over whenever..
i just dont want to over stay my welcome ://
it sucks not having a place of your own.
i feel like ive been unwanted & unwelcomed since january,
and i still have nowhere to go :[[
she hasnt made me feel like that though,
its been so nice catching up with her about everything..
its kind of like were going through the same changes in our life
& i love having someone to talk to who can actually relate :]]
she gives alot of good advice & is just my favorite right now<33
theres alot coming up this june,
im excited for the reunion!
i cant wait to see my lil bro<33
its been waaay too long since ive seen that kid
& i cant let this much time pass by without him in my life.
i must be the worlds worst sister for not
trying harder to be apart of his life ://
carleens death date is coming up at the end of the month too,
i cant believe its almost been 4 years.
im trying not to think about it but it still gets to me every year.
i still havent finished the quilt & left all that stuff in texas,
i wish i didnt even say id make it,
its just too draining & i just never wanted to make time
to work on a fucking blanket for my dead friends mom.
i just dont know what to do anymore.
im in love with "me & cinderella" by magnolia,
idk why but i feel like i can relate to that song sooo much,
especially these past few weeks ://
on a more positive side i have been okay for the most part,
some days are better than others.
i have been making new friends & whatnot which im digging,
im just ready for more change :]]