Life just isn't what it used to be
Let me just review all of the events that have happened to em in the past two weeks.
1. Ashley and me are all but over
2. Grandma diagnosed with cancer
3. Mom is speaking to a divorce consultant and trying to keep it a secret
It just doesn't get any better than this does it? I've been trying to keep my mind off it all by playing alot of tennis and exercising a lot but the truth is that even someone as headstrong as I am has a breaking point where they just give up on life...and I'm just about there. My mom told me I was "A thorn in her side" and "Had held her back my whole life"...which I might add was totally unprovoked. I actually think my mom has done the unthinkable...she has totally destroyed all the love I had for her before I reached the age of 18. I found a sheet of paper with all this info she wrote about a divorce consultant that she's meeting thursday. I guess me and my dad both have the same problem...no matter how bad the women we love treat us we can never bring ourselves to let go. He's practically begging em to apologize and make peace with ehr when I said absolutely nothing to begin with. I hate her...i think I've hated her sicne she told me she wish she had an abortion instead of having me. Moving on to exhibit B on why my life sux...My grandma who practically raised me and whom even though I joke and I know she brought this lung cancer on herself is on the breathing machine now and I don't think she will ever come off. I makle fun of her and stuff because she is not the average grandma but I really do love her and its really hard for me to deal with. When I am in situations liek these I tend to back off because I don't want to fele the pain but I want to eb there for her...
And third and seemingly the elast upsetting is the whoel ash thing which I'm slowly getting used to. We still need to talk in person and if she wants to stay together I will...but I'm pretty sure she's sick of me all over again and even though we've been together for awhile I still feel a little mad about how she handled the whole thing. It all started over me punchin my brother and almost brekaing his nose. I felt absolutely horrible and called her up hoping she'd be the one person on this earth who'd tell me I'm not a horrible person and that she believed I didn't try to hurt him that bad...but she quickly called me stupid and said she had to go...but w/e I've never been able to bring myself to stay amd at ashley and hopefully this whole friewnds thing wont get too weird...I just don't have to energy to kepe chasing after her...this is probably the one point in my life I've actually needed someone by my side to get me through this so if things with ash fall through I'm going to try to find someone new...and fast. alrighty im off to inlet
1. Ashley and me are all but over
2. Grandma diagnosed with cancer
3. Mom is speaking to a divorce consultant and trying to keep it a secret
It just doesn't get any better than this does it? I've been trying to keep my mind off it all by playing alot of tennis and exercising a lot but the truth is that even someone as headstrong as I am has a breaking point where they just give up on life...and I'm just about there. My mom told me I was "A thorn in her side" and "Had held her back my whole life"...which I might add was totally unprovoked. I actually think my mom has done the unthinkable...she has totally destroyed all the love I had for her before I reached the age of 18. I found a sheet of paper with all this info she wrote about a divorce consultant that she's meeting thursday. I guess me and my dad both have the same problem...no matter how bad the women we love treat us we can never bring ourselves to let go. He's practically begging em to apologize and make peace with ehr when I said absolutely nothing to begin with. I hate her...i think I've hated her sicne she told me she wish she had an abortion instead of having me. Moving on to exhibit B on why my life sux...My grandma who practically raised me and whom even though I joke and I know she brought this lung cancer on herself is on the breathing machine now and I don't think she will ever come off. I makle fun of her and stuff because she is not the average grandma but I really do love her and its really hard for me to deal with. When I am in situations liek these I tend to back off because I don't want to fele the pain but I want to eb there for her...
And third and seemingly the elast upsetting is the whoel ash thing which I'm slowly getting used to. We still need to talk in person and if she wants to stay together I will...but I'm pretty sure she's sick of me all over again and even though we've been together for awhile I still feel a little mad about how she handled the whole thing. It all started over me punchin my brother and almost brekaing his nose. I felt absolutely horrible and called her up hoping she'd be the one person on this earth who'd tell me I'm not a horrible person and that she believed I didn't try to hurt him that bad...but she quickly called me stupid and said she had to go...but w/e I've never been able to bring myself to stay amd at ashley and hopefully this whole friewnds thing wont get too weird...I just don't have to energy to kepe chasing after her...this is probably the one point in my life I've actually needed someone by my side to get me through this so if things with ash fall through I'm going to try to find someone new...and fast. alrighty im off to inlet