(no subject)
this is probably the most confusing entry ever.....No wait it gets better!!!!
today i had a really crappy day, but i dont think people could notice though because i decided to make it a happy day. hehehe if that makes any sence.... nevermind. its like i get the big lecture from everyone who went to church this weekend and everyone who went to xlt last weekend that i was turning away from God and doing all kinds of bad things.......ya let me tell you having a family night out for the last time last tuesday with dean-o was a real pot smokin achohol drinking part-a!!!! jeeze-the-weeze people give a break!!! take it like this" even if you knew how much time I spent on my knees, you do not know how much i pray" so ya take that punks!!! LoL
Thats another thing gosh dang it!!! just because im friends with people who like to do all that crazy shit doesnt mean im going to do it too, if you want to know something about me, dont ask somene else have the ballz to ask me yourself, trust me im not going to hurt you, i just like it when people ask me personally instead of starting a load of shit...you do not know, because you havent asked.
i was pondering with sha tonight at XLT, just about all the crap about me at school and about whats going on at home and all that cool stuff. i tell sha eveything, home life, friends, who i like, who she likes EVERYTHING!!! she is just so trusting. tonight we were talking about the whole TRUST issue. and as we were talking i relized i am a really trusting person. dont know why but i just am. i guess im gullable( spellig?!?!?!?) well thats not the point, the point is that we were talking and we both had ONE person we couldnt TRUST. and what was really sad was that the person we couldnt trust was the same person, well not exactly the same person but the same figure in each of our lifes. we both have established that things are very decieving in everyone life, but this one is the most decieving. then sha said " but who has decieved us both so often then ourselves" that gave me a quick slap across the face if you know what i mean. its like decieving is believing, but believing is somewhat decieving.... crazy i know, but just go along with it.
i told sha that i think my problem now is that i lack the strength and will for myself but i can do it for others. its i guess you can say its harder for me to help myself then it is for me to help others. i question myself alot. another words you know how people have a problem judging other people, well its vise versa with myself. i think of how stupid i am all the time. lol here is an example, in just about every sport i do i have to do the best i can or ill literally get pissed off at myself. its kinda like i have to do it right or im pissed. the other day i screwd up something in basketball, and the coach was getting ready to yell at me about it and he told me he looked at me and decided not to say anything to me about it because he knew i had already beaten myself up about it. and for some reason i do it better that way. after about a week of doing this, lukes dad came up to me and said( cant remember his name isnt that sad, and hes even my coach lol boy i feel dumb lol) " in great attemps it is glourious even to fail." know im speechless......
so tonght i guess i have decided to stop questioning myself and try not to put a question mark were God puts a period. kinda wierd how basketball made me learn that one huh? o well...
after XLT, natalie felt alittle upset about something, but i couldnt seem to get it out of her. I LOVE YOU NATALIE!! MUAH MUAH MUAH!! well me and natalie after xlt went to run around the church (dont know why but we ran) and on the way saw a frog. after i was done inspecting the frog we walked back and somehow i decided to wave nicely to cars as they drove by. well i guess natalie was getting tired of me going nuts so she starts to drive away. well i didnt think she would actually leave me (although she did leave me at walmart:|) so i started agian to run and she tried to hit me so i got on top of the car. after we went around the church parking lot about 3 or 4 times with me on the hood we left. there was a lot of peeps on the beach so i thought it would be very thoughtful to tell everyone hey. well we went back and fourth over the railroad tracks really fast (i hit my head on the top of the roof). then she took me home after joy riding. my mom thought we were completely nutz. well natalie i know you are going to read this tomarrow at school hehehe tell john paul i said hey..... NOTTT!!! tell tht big bear to piss off!!! MUAH MUAH, HHHMMM I LIKE THAT, evil laugh time!!! well love yall all, hope i didnt just confuse a whole shit load of peeps. ;) love yas aLLiSoNrAcHeL
p.s.
mr. daniels(4 inch) and paul(3 inch) are lovers in search of a real big nasty. hahahaha LOSERS!!! and remember kelly and luke take off your pants, its time for measurements....... muah muah muah!!!!
I LOVE YOU NATALIE!!!! NOT!!! SCREW YOU WHORE!!! Jk I LOVE YOU!!!! :p
today i had a really crappy day, but i dont think people could notice though because i decided to make it a happy day. hehehe if that makes any sence.... nevermind. its like i get the big lecture from everyone who went to church this weekend and everyone who went to xlt last weekend that i was turning away from God and doing all kinds of bad things.......ya let me tell you having a family night out for the last time last tuesday with dean-o was a real pot smokin achohol drinking part-a!!!! jeeze-the-weeze people give a break!!! take it like this" even if you knew how much time I spent on my knees, you do not know how much i pray" so ya take that punks!!! LoL
Thats another thing gosh dang it!!! just because im friends with people who like to do all that crazy shit doesnt mean im going to do it too, if you want to know something about me, dont ask somene else have the ballz to ask me yourself, trust me im not going to hurt you, i just like it when people ask me personally instead of starting a load of shit...you do not know, because you havent asked.
i was pondering with sha tonight at XLT, just about all the crap about me at school and about whats going on at home and all that cool stuff. i tell sha eveything, home life, friends, who i like, who she likes EVERYTHING!!! she is just so trusting. tonight we were talking about the whole TRUST issue. and as we were talking i relized i am a really trusting person. dont know why but i just am. i guess im gullable( spellig?!?!?!?) well thats not the point, the point is that we were talking and we both had ONE person we couldnt TRUST. and what was really sad was that the person we couldnt trust was the same person, well not exactly the same person but the same figure in each of our lifes. we both have established that things are very decieving in everyone life, but this one is the most decieving. then sha said " but who has decieved us both so often then ourselves" that gave me a quick slap across the face if you know what i mean. its like decieving is believing, but believing is somewhat decieving.... crazy i know, but just go along with it.
i told sha that i think my problem now is that i lack the strength and will for myself but i can do it for others. its i guess you can say its harder for me to help myself then it is for me to help others. i question myself alot. another words you know how people have a problem judging other people, well its vise versa with myself. i think of how stupid i am all the time. lol here is an example, in just about every sport i do i have to do the best i can or ill literally get pissed off at myself. its kinda like i have to do it right or im pissed. the other day i screwd up something in basketball, and the coach was getting ready to yell at me about it and he told me he looked at me and decided not to say anything to me about it because he knew i had already beaten myself up about it. and for some reason i do it better that way. after about a week of doing this, lukes dad came up to me and said( cant remember his name isnt that sad, and hes even my coach lol boy i feel dumb lol) " in great attemps it is glourious even to fail." know im speechless......
so tonght i guess i have decided to stop questioning myself and try not to put a question mark were God puts a period. kinda wierd how basketball made me learn that one huh? o well...
after XLT, natalie felt alittle upset about something, but i couldnt seem to get it out of her. I LOVE YOU NATALIE!! MUAH MUAH MUAH!! well me and natalie after xlt went to run around the church (dont know why but we ran) and on the way saw a frog. after i was done inspecting the frog we walked back and somehow i decided to wave nicely to cars as they drove by. well i guess natalie was getting tired of me going nuts so she starts to drive away. well i didnt think she would actually leave me (although she did leave me at walmart:|) so i started agian to run and she tried to hit me so i got on top of the car. after we went around the church parking lot about 3 or 4 times with me on the hood we left. there was a lot of peeps on the beach so i thought it would be very thoughtful to tell everyone hey. well we went back and fourth over the railroad tracks really fast (i hit my head on the top of the roof). then she took me home after joy riding. my mom thought we were completely nutz. well natalie i know you are going to read this tomarrow at school hehehe tell john paul i said hey..... NOTTT!!! tell tht big bear to piss off!!! MUAH MUAH, HHHMMM I LIKE THAT, evil laugh time!!! well love yall all, hope i didnt just confuse a whole shit load of peeps. ;) love yas aLLiSoNrAcHeL
p.s.
mr. daniels(4 inch) and paul(3 inch) are lovers in search of a real big nasty. hahahaha LOSERS!!! and remember kelly and luke take off your pants, its time for measurements....... muah muah muah!!!!
I LOVE YOU NATALIE!!!! NOT!!! SCREW YOU WHORE!!! Jk I LOVE YOU!!!! :p