An entry ages past
Sometimes remembering the past is like remembering great times with friends; cupcakes in English class; nights that you never wanted to end; laughs that still hurt even just thinking about them.
But the past can also be ugly. Remembering things that I did and said that I wish I would have never created. Sometimes I think if this is where I was really supposed to end up. Where would I have been if I did things differently? A year or three years ago? Is this what I really want?
But, I feel as if I know nothing else. I have been wondering around life, it seems with my eyes closed, locked in a dark room with dangerous objects, that were purposely placed there so I would harm myself. Why do I always feel as if I am lacking or missing something?
And then, again, why am I so obsessed with figuring out what I am missing, instead of throwing myself head first into life itself. What am I so scared of?
But the past can also be ugly. Remembering things that I did and said that I wish I would have never created. Sometimes I think if this is where I was really supposed to end up. Where would I have been if I did things differently? A year or three years ago? Is this what I really want?
But, I feel as if I know nothing else. I have been wondering around life, it seems with my eyes closed, locked in a dark room with dangerous objects, that were purposely placed there so I would harm myself. Why do I always feel as if I am lacking or missing something?
And then, again, why am I so obsessed with figuring out what I am missing, instead of throwing myself head first into life itself. What am I so scared of?