(no subject)
Things have been very up and down for me lately. I went off my anti-depressants over a year ago, and I am not entirely sure it was the best move. Most days I feel fine, other days I don't want to talk to anyone and no one can cheer me up.
For the most part I am over the Neil situation. It still hurts that he refuses to believe me, still pesters my old friends for answers and explanations over my word. Neil likes to brag about his new girlfriend, who is a complete contradiction. Under the impression that I did all these things that were so bad, but dates a woman who is still married, with kids and struts around like he owns the world. I saw him last weekend, and he spent the entire lunch hour prancing around with his pretty little princess texting my lunch date asking her if things were "comfortable" as if it would some how bother me. The only thing that bothered me was him bugging my friends. I have been nothing but nice to him, and say nothing bad about him, ever. It is frustrating.
I have to say, most people these days, understand that there was a miss communication and have (forgiven isn't the right word) restarted my friendship. I have really grown to like them again, and enjoy spending time with everyone in that circle. I am also happy to have Holly back in my life. Things have been going great with her in her new life, and I think we will be getting a long a lot better now and in the future.
I am trying to avoid having a stale life lately. Things seem very routine. Even when I go out to have fun, it is the same old places the same old things. I think with all of the new friends I have gotten with should give me a vast variety of things to do. Nothing seems very appealing lately. I have the overwhelming urge to sew and be creative, unfortunately I have no funds to do anything great. Dragon*Con gave great inspiration and my juices are flowing. I hate being stuck like this.
I am thinking Samus Zero suit for myself. and a really great cabaret corset. material costs are sky high. I should suck it up and just get a second job. Which would totally take away any free time for working on my costumes, but I guess a couple of months of a job I could save up enough money to actually make them well and out of nice materials.
Dragon*Con was very fun, I didn't seem to have any upsetting moments. There were frustrating moments like every year, but overall it was pretty sweet. Seeing my old friends is always great, though a lot of them seemed very distant and unforgiving. It is hard to tell what people are thinking. I had a real blast hanging with JP and Julie, Marcus, Ange, Savage, Z, Drew, Stacie, Courtney, Becky, Jessica, Kelly, and Brian. Lori was a big disappointment. We were having such a great time together and she had to leave on Saturday when a family emergency hit. It was very upsetting. I didn't get to go see my boys Vin, Javier and Cesar very much; the parties were shut down and the hotel was kind of being douchey so I ended up staying in the Hyatt on Sunday night.
Back to work tomorrow, I am very refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things. Hopefully it wont be too horrible of a day, its been a long long time since I have had a lengthy vacation; and with someone new covering for me I don't really know what to expect in the morning.
I have been really frustrated at home. I am still feeling uncomfortable here, things just aren't the same. I feel like I can't talk to Thomas the way I used to be able to. He is keeping things from me, or we've just lost our spark. I am very much a third wheel, which is ironic because Andy says the same thing to me all the time. I am very alienated. Andy is great, as usual. He annoyed me at con, also like usual. But you can't really fight with a man who takes care of you all the time without question and treats you like a queen.
Not having a kitchen is killing me. the fast food is bad enough, but you just don't realize what a huge money suck it is for me. Perry (our GC) is going to be starting on fixing everything hopefully this week. With any luck by then end of this week- mid next week I will be with cooking again. I crave leftovers, how sad is that.
laundry, supernatural, sleep, work tomorrow.
For the most part I am over the Neil situation. It still hurts that he refuses to believe me, still pesters my old friends for answers and explanations over my word. Neil likes to brag about his new girlfriend, who is a complete contradiction. Under the impression that I did all these things that were so bad, but dates a woman who is still married, with kids and struts around like he owns the world. I saw him last weekend, and he spent the entire lunch hour prancing around with his pretty little princess texting my lunch date asking her if things were "comfortable" as if it would some how bother me. The only thing that bothered me was him bugging my friends. I have been nothing but nice to him, and say nothing bad about him, ever. It is frustrating.
I have to say, most people these days, understand that there was a miss communication and have (forgiven isn't the right word) restarted my friendship. I have really grown to like them again, and enjoy spending time with everyone in that circle. I am also happy to have Holly back in my life. Things have been going great with her in her new life, and I think we will be getting a long a lot better now and in the future.
I am trying to avoid having a stale life lately. Things seem very routine. Even when I go out to have fun, it is the same old places the same old things. I think with all of the new friends I have gotten with should give me a vast variety of things to do. Nothing seems very appealing lately. I have the overwhelming urge to sew and be creative, unfortunately I have no funds to do anything great. Dragon*Con gave great inspiration and my juices are flowing. I hate being stuck like this.
I am thinking Samus Zero suit for myself. and a really great cabaret corset. material costs are sky high. I should suck it up and just get a second job. Which would totally take away any free time for working on my costumes, but I guess a couple of months of a job I could save up enough money to actually make them well and out of nice materials.
Dragon*Con was very fun, I didn't seem to have any upsetting moments. There were frustrating moments like every year, but overall it was pretty sweet. Seeing my old friends is always great, though a lot of them seemed very distant and unforgiving. It is hard to tell what people are thinking. I had a real blast hanging with JP and Julie, Marcus, Ange, Savage, Z, Drew, Stacie, Courtney, Becky, Jessica, Kelly, and Brian. Lori was a big disappointment. We were having such a great time together and she had to leave on Saturday when a family emergency hit. It was very upsetting. I didn't get to go see my boys Vin, Javier and Cesar very much; the parties were shut down and the hotel was kind of being douchey so I ended up staying in the Hyatt on Sunday night.
Back to work tomorrow, I am very refreshed and ready to get back into the swing of things. Hopefully it wont be too horrible of a day, its been a long long time since I have had a lengthy vacation; and with someone new covering for me I don't really know what to expect in the morning.
I have been really frustrated at home. I am still feeling uncomfortable here, things just aren't the same. I feel like I can't talk to Thomas the way I used to be able to. He is keeping things from me, or we've just lost our spark. I am very much a third wheel, which is ironic because Andy says the same thing to me all the time. I am very alienated. Andy is great, as usual. He annoyed me at con, also like usual. But you can't really fight with a man who takes care of you all the time without question and treats you like a queen.
Not having a kitchen is killing me. the fast food is bad enough, but you just don't realize what a huge money suck it is for me. Perry (our GC) is going to be starting on fixing everything hopefully this week. With any luck by then end of this week- mid next week I will be with cooking again. I crave leftovers, how sad is that.
laundry, supernatural, sleep, work tomorrow.