(no subject)
SO ALMOST TOO LATE but I hope that those of you who celebrate Christmas had a nice time and to those of you who don't that you had a nice couple of days.
Me? Well, Thursday I went to work - we got rescheduled to the morning shift that day which worked for the best - and then I had to come home and pack my things since the sisters, my uncle Cuau and his wife and two of his sons came here for dad's funeral and then to take us to Mexico City.
But before we went to Jilotepec, where the ranch my grandfather - dad's dad - had a ranch. There we went to a small lake nearby and poured his ashes: uncle Fede - dad's oldest brother - came, as well as his son, aunt Pisi's son Juan and Constanza, uncle Cuau and aunt Tere's youngest daughter: my grandmother was too broken to make it so my aunt stayed with her. So now, that's something 'fun' to carry for the rest of my life about December 24th.
Then we went to Mexico City to aunt Pisi's for the dinner. My grandmother - dad's mom - kept crying and crying and telling us how angry she was with God because it should've been her... and I was angry too because I kept thinking that she was right, so yeah. And then the actual dinner was... quiet. We did laugh. We told jokes. But dad was one of those persons who fill up a room with laughter and life and light. And now that was missing so, so much.
So there was that. No presents for us, of course, and Cass and I came back home today since Cass has to work tomorrow and I didn't feel like staying longer. I also have to study a lot for work.
I know it'll get easier next year. And the year after that. And the year after that. But right now, I can only be grateful that it's over. The first Christmas without my dad's jokes and his laughter and his amazing, vibrant smile.
So many other firsts to go.
Me? Well, Thursday I went to work - we got rescheduled to the morning shift that day which worked for the best - and then I had to come home and pack my things since the sisters, my uncle Cuau and his wife and two of his sons came here for dad's funeral and then to take us to Mexico City.
But before we went to Jilotepec, where the ranch my grandfather - dad's dad - had a ranch. There we went to a small lake nearby and poured his ashes: uncle Fede - dad's oldest brother - came, as well as his son, aunt Pisi's son Juan and Constanza, uncle Cuau and aunt Tere's youngest daughter: my grandmother was too broken to make it so my aunt stayed with her. So now, that's something 'fun' to carry for the rest of my life about December 24th.
Then we went to Mexico City to aunt Pisi's for the dinner. My grandmother - dad's mom - kept crying and crying and telling us how angry she was with God because it should've been her... and I was angry too because I kept thinking that she was right, so yeah. And then the actual dinner was... quiet. We did laugh. We told jokes. But dad was one of those persons who fill up a room with laughter and life and light. And now that was missing so, so much.
So there was that. No presents for us, of course, and Cass and I came back home today since Cass has to work tomorrow and I didn't feel like staying longer. I also have to study a lot for work.
I know it'll get easier next year. And the year after that. And the year after that. But right now, I can only be grateful that it's over. The first Christmas without my dad's jokes and his laughter and his amazing, vibrant smile.
So many other firsts to go.