(no subject)
Angie and I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. If you're going to see Twilight: the Movie, do so when it's late enough that you can have enough booze for a drinking game.
TWILIGHT-MOVIE DRINKING GAME:
- Drink every time there's a useless scene.
- Drink every time Bella wins a boytoy for her harem.
- Drink whenever the story bashes Charlie.
- Drink every time a phrase is so cliche Harlequinn wants to complain.
- Drink when Bella says a typical abuse phrase. ('He loves me' or 'he wouldn't hurt me')
- Drink when the camera directions make you dizzy.
Now, a more in depth 'OH MY GOD THEY SPENT MONEY IN THIS' rant. This is your one warning. If you like Twilight and don't want to read about it being ranted, skip this.
The thing about this movie - and the book in general - is that as an actual horror movie? It MIGHT have had a chance of being good. I'm not saying it immediately would have been, no way, but at leas tit would have been better than mediocre.
Watching the movie did nothing but convince me of that, because, cliché horror movie setting get! Small town, weird beasts, ~*special*~ girl, ~*dangerous*~ situation, STUPID TEENAGERS, and the girl also being stupid. Seriously, if it had had some more making outs, it would have been just Another Horror Movie.
I'll say that the movie makes Bella less annoying because you don't have to read pages and pages and pages and PAGES of her whining, but there are a lot of things that still don't make sense, like her getting conflicted with Edward just because he was rude the first day they met. And Edward STILL doesn't make sense with his 'stay away from me despite the fact that I came to see you'.
THE MOVIE EDITOR GOT ASLEEP A LOT. 'Cause, seriously. There are SO MANY scenes that were useless and that could have been worked better, as it was they were just cluttering something that didn't need being cluttered anymore.
Edward and Bella DO NOT have chemistry, that much was made even more obvious in the movie. Which is hilarious considering that I've seen pictures and videos of RPattz and Kirsten and they DO have chemistry when they're out of character. But it's more than 'teenagers being awkward' because... seriously, there's awkward and then there's being forced together.
The two scenes that were worthy, in our opinion, where Dr. Sparkles bites Ed (t-those expressions, omg) and where Bella's dad is cleaning his gun when Bella tells him she wants him to meet Edward and he gets the gun ready.
DID I MENTION THAT IT'S UNFAIR HOW CHARLIE GETS TREATED? HAVE I MENTIONED IT ENOUGH? 'cause seriously, UNFAIR. That's one of the things that I hated the most about the book and I still hated it in the movie. He's probably the one character that didn't annoy me. Alice at times did the same, and I did like the premise of her powers but, I dunno, it still feels skeevy to me the whole 'we're going to be best friends!' thing, mostly because I love free-will and Twilight does such a good job at taking that away.
Mmm, was there something else? Well, if there was anything else, I'll complain later. But as it is, seriously. Bad movie was WORSE THAN BAD.
TWILIGHT-MOVIE DRINKING GAME:
- Drink every time there's a useless scene.
- Drink every time Bella wins a boytoy for her harem.
- Drink whenever the story bashes Charlie.
- Drink every time a phrase is so cliche Harlequinn wants to complain.
- Drink when Bella says a typical abuse phrase. ('He loves me' or 'he wouldn't hurt me')
- Drink when the camera directions make you dizzy.
Now, a more in depth 'OH MY GOD THEY SPENT MONEY IN THIS' rant. This is your one warning. If you like Twilight and don't want to read about it being ranted, skip this.
The thing about this movie - and the book in general - is that as an actual horror movie? It MIGHT have had a chance of being good. I'm not saying it immediately would have been, no way, but at leas tit would have been better than mediocre.
Watching the movie did nothing but convince me of that, because, cliché horror movie setting get! Small town, weird beasts, ~*special*~ girl, ~*dangerous*~ situation, STUPID TEENAGERS, and the girl also being stupid. Seriously, if it had had some more making outs, it would have been just Another Horror Movie.
I'll say that the movie makes Bella less annoying because you don't have to read pages and pages and pages and PAGES of her whining, but there are a lot of things that still don't make sense, like her getting conflicted with Edward just because he was rude the first day they met. And Edward STILL doesn't make sense with his 'stay away from me despite the fact that I came to see you'.
THE MOVIE EDITOR GOT ASLEEP A LOT. 'Cause, seriously. There are SO MANY scenes that were useless and that could have been worked better, as it was they were just cluttering something that didn't need being cluttered anymore.
Edward and Bella DO NOT have chemistry, that much was made even more obvious in the movie. Which is hilarious considering that I've seen pictures and videos of RPattz and Kirsten and they DO have chemistry when they're out of character. But it's more than 'teenagers being awkward' because... seriously, there's awkward and then there's being forced together.
The two scenes that were worthy, in our opinion, where Dr. Sparkles bites Ed (t-those expressions, omg) and where Bella's dad is cleaning his gun when Bella tells him she wants him to meet Edward and he gets the gun ready.
DID I MENTION THAT IT'S UNFAIR HOW CHARLIE GETS TREATED? HAVE I MENTIONED IT ENOUGH? 'cause seriously, UNFAIR. That's one of the things that I hated the most about the book and I still hated it in the movie. He's probably the one character that didn't annoy me. Alice at times did the same, and I did like the premise of her powers but, I dunno, it still feels skeevy to me the whole 'we're going to be best friends!' thing, mostly because I love free-will and Twilight does such a good job at taking that away.
Mmm, was there something else? Well, if there was anything else, I'll complain later. But as it is, seriously. Bad movie was WORSE THAN BAD.