(no subject)
I WROTE TWILIGHT FANFICTION. LIFE IS NO WORTHY LIVING. GOODBYE, CRUEL WORLD. I HAVE FAILED YOU.
"And thus, your honor, rests my case. That man is GUILTY!" Birdman shouts. The jury gasps in shock. A woman of the audience faints.
"BACK OFF, BIRDMAN!!" Myron Reducto shrills, jumping on top of the table. "Your honor! It's obvious that my client is INNOCENT!"
"I truly am. I just... dazzled her," Edward says. "Surely you can't blame me for--"
"BE CAREFUL, YOUR HONOR!" Birdman calls. "He's going to use his Sparkling Smile to Dazzle you!"
A hero is a hero, no matter how much time has gone without using the spandex. Just as Edward Cullen is smiling and the dangerous, mortiferous sparkles of his smile start blinking and gleaming towards Mentok, Harvey Birdman stands in the way.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screams Reducto.
Mentok, who had been already in the process of zapping away from the danger, points towards the sparkly vampire.
"GUARDS! Lock that man up in the darkest of jails!"
As the guards drag away the vampire who keeps on claiming innocence, Birdman tries, in vain, to say his last words.
"Reducto, my friend..."
"Don't talk, you fool!" Reducto cries. "Bring a doctor! Now!"
"Do not bother, Reducto, old friend..." Birdman coughs. "I've been... dazzled."
And as he says this, his hand falls down and it has gone pale like marble and it's sparkling like diamonds.
"And thus, your honor, rests my case. That man is GUILTY!" Birdman shouts. The jury gasps in shock. A woman of the audience faints.
"BACK OFF, BIRDMAN!!" Myron Reducto shrills, jumping on top of the table. "Your honor! It's obvious that my client is INNOCENT!"
"I truly am. I just... dazzled her," Edward says. "Surely you can't blame me for--"
"BE CAREFUL, YOUR HONOR!" Birdman calls. "He's going to use his Sparkling Smile to Dazzle you!"
A hero is a hero, no matter how much time has gone without using the spandex. Just as Edward Cullen is smiling and the dangerous, mortiferous sparkles of his smile start blinking and gleaming towards Mentok, Harvey Birdman stands in the way.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screams Reducto.
Mentok, who had been already in the process of zapping away from the danger, points towards the sparkly vampire.
"GUARDS! Lock that man up in the darkest of jails!"
As the guards drag away the vampire who keeps on claiming innocence, Birdman tries, in vain, to say his last words.
"Reducto, my friend..."
"Don't talk, you fool!" Reducto cries. "Bring a doctor! Now!"
"Do not bother, Reducto, old friend..." Birdman coughs. "I've been... dazzled."
And as he says this, his hand falls down and it has gone pale like marble and it's sparkling like diamonds.