[FIC] One Giant Leap of Faith.

May 24, 2007 12:35

Title: One Giant Leap of Faith.
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura.
Warnings: None.
Characters/couples: Clow/Yue.
Summary: Yue realized that perhaps if he asked for one night, his master would agree.
Rating: NC17.
Notes: Written for springkink: Card Captor Sakura, Clow/Yue: Following orders - “How do you want me, Master?”

One Giant Leap of Faith.
It's easier to lie and be safe
Time and time again I'm half stalled
One giant leap of faith is easy
When everyone you ask is so sure
Just give a second thought
What if we don't get caught
Just say you love me now
"Grazed Knees" Snow Patrol

“A wish, master?”

Clow smiled and nodded, pressing a flower between the pages of the book he had been reading as he put it aside. Only then did Yue moved from the door, kneeling on the floor by Clow's side, resting his head against Clow's knees. He smiled as Clow's long fingers combed into his hair, rubbing small circles against his scalp.

He would've forgotten Clow's question completely if not for Clow murmuring his name again, quiet and amused, like the way the chimney was crackling softly. He thought for a moment before nodding no with his hair, barely a soft movement as to not disturb Clow's caresses.

“I don't wish for anything, master,” Yue answered. When Clow's fingers stilled against the nape of his head, he turned his head to look at Clow's face.

He hadn't lost his smile but that wasn't saying much; Yue had only seen Clow lose his smile twice since he had been created, and he knew that his words hadn't been as upsetting to deserve something like that. Clow did seem, however, curious, eyes dark with an eyebrow raised.

“Is that so?” Clow asked, a faint tone of doubt at his words. “You don't have any wish at all?”

Yue knew that Clow knew he wasn't being honest, and more than anything he despised lying to his master, even in something like this. He looked down to the folds of Clow's robes against his chest.

“I'm happy with the way things are,” he hesitated a moment, wishing for something to try and distract himself from the fact that he was almost disobeying Clow's words. “Besides, Yuuko-sama...”

Clow laughed, calming his nerves. Yue smiled and leaned against Clow's legs again, feeling the soft tug of Clow's fingers on his hair.

“It wouldn't be a wish from Yuuko-chan. It would be a wish from me.”

Yue looked up again, frowning a little. “So it'd be free of consequences?”

Clow didn't answer directly. Despite the fact that he rarely did, Yue still felt the damp chill of fear run down his back the few moments before Clow smiled at him, moving his hand so it curled by his chin, making sure he wasn't looking anywhere else.

“I want you and Cerberus to be happy,” Yue opened his mouth to repeat himself, but then Clow continued. “And I believe that, to be properly happy, sometimes it's okay to have a little more than what you need. Think about Cerberus' wish!”

Yue was completely unable, despite himself, to stop from snorting. Of course that Cerberus being Cerberus, he had asked for more food than what he would ever need, and Clow had happily agreed to that, even when it'd take him several hours to make everything the pig had asked for.

Clow laughed at his reaction, amused once again, letting go of his chin to caress his face again and Yue leaned against that touch, closing his yes, completely unable to feel bad about being the source of his laugh.

Clow's thumb rubbed his cheekbone, gentle as he was most of the time before he caressed the shell of his ear, making him feel for a moment the weight of his earring.

“Think about it, my dear Yue. If it's within my power to grant your wish, I'll make it come true.”

Yue was unable to deny Clow's request, giving a soft nod before he leaned against his knees again, Clow's fingers caressing his hair once more. Yue knew that he had a wish, but he also knew better than to even thing about asking for that.

**

Yue wondered, though. Wondered if it would be worth asking. He already knew that the answer to the thing he most wanted would be no, and the idea of even just hearing Clow confirm his worse fear stopped him from doing so.

He had, after all, Clow's love. Yue knew that Clow would be as sweet as the sunrise as he told him gently that he did love him but Yue was aware that it wasn't the same way, not completely, for he loved Yue as a father and a master, yes, but there was more to that.

To wish for Clow to return his love the same way would be beyond Clow's powers, and the idea of his master feeling sad that he couldn't make his wish come true stopped Yue for whole weeks. He could live with the knowledge that his intended didn't return his feelings but he'd rather become a statue than to cause Clow sadness or pain.

Three weeks had gone by before Yue thought that, perhaps, it wouldn't be so bad the second best thing. Yue realized that he couldn't hope for Clow's love the way he wanted, but perhaps if he asked for one night, his master would agree. Even one night had to be better than nothing, had to be better than always wondering how it would've been and Yue realized that he wanted to know how it would've been to be Clow's beloved. For one night at least, he wanted to be that for his master, and for himself, too, he wanted to be Clow's most important person.

Surely that wouldn't be too much to ask?

Three more weeks passed and the leaves outside of Clow's garden turned red and gold before Yue made up his mind about asking, and still he waited until the sun was setting in a display of mauve and blue, until stars had come to line the velvet blue clouds with their shining and Cerberus had gone to sleep before Yue went to Clow's personal chambers.

Clow was sitting by the chimney's hearth, a book between his hands. Yue waited for his master to acknowledge his presence, keeping his eyes over the Indian Rug that had muffled his steps. He had been countless of times inside Clow's rooms, let it be to discuss a book with his master or to take care of Clow when he had finished creating one of the Cards, or worse when Clow had a particularly taxing premonition. He still couldn't bring himself to try and look around.

Finally, Clow lowered his book. “Yes, Yue?”

“There's something I wish for, master.”

“Oh?” Yue looked up. Clow seemed curious about it, his head tilted before he closed his book, placing it by the coffee table besides him. Clow rested his hands on his lap, his smile still intrigued by his words. Yue wondered if perhaps the offer for granting him a wish had expired, but Clow gave a faint nod then. “Please, do tell.”

He had only a moment, Yue realized, before he lost his resolution but when he tried to speak, he couldn't find the words to ask for what he wished for. Before he completely lost his will to speak he crossed the few steps between them, holding his weight against his armchair as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Clow's, kissing him clumsily.

When Clow didn't answer, Yue started to step back, apologies already forming in his mouth and ready to fall out but, before he could even start, Clow's hands cupped his face, kissing him back slowly and teaching him how the kiss should go with the same care he used for most things, lips and nothing but lips; Yue thought his knees weren't going to support him.

Before that happened, though, Clow broke the kiss, thumbs stroking his face. “Is this what you wish for, Yue?”

“I just wish for a night, master.” Yue explained, hoping that it'd be alright. It could be, if Clow had kissed him instead of stopping the kiss and interrupting.

Something dark and almost sad seemed to fill Clow's eyes for a moment before his master smiled again, warm and gentle before he took of his glasses, putting them besides the armchair, standing up.

“'Clow'.”his master cupped his face again, tilting his head backwards, brushing his lips against the line of his jaw. Yue wasn't sure if he ought to move yet, but he closed his eyes with a small sigh as Clow nibbled beneath his earlobe. “If this is to happen, I want you to call me by my name.”

Yue swallowed, not saying no but not daring to be so rude, even if his master was asking him to. “Master...”

He felt Clow's smile against his neck, Clow's arm wrapped around his waist and Yue leaned gratefully against his chest. “My name, Yue. I want you to call my name.”

Yue swallowed, shivering when Clow nibbled at the skin of his throat. “Clow...”

Clow kissed him again after that and Yue moved his arms to hold unto his waist, mouth opening for Clow's tongue and tasting the brandy-laced tea in his tongue. Clow kept the calm rhythm of the kiss, even when he tried to step closer. He felt his master's smile against his mouth.

“Undress me, Yue.”

He couldn't find his voice to answer, so he just took a small step backwards, enough that he could lift his arms to undo the buttons of Clow's tunic, the dark blue and gold silk warm thanks to his master's body. Yue put his hands against Clow's chest and slid them up his shoulders, coaxing the clothes to fall down.

Yue had undressed his master before, too, had helped him to bed when even his master's strength and power had failed him. Yue didn't allow his hands to tremble as he worked open the black sash around the embroidered Chinese white tunic Clow wore underneath, all the spells that had been stitched and hidden in the silk almost humming with their magic under his fingers. Before he allowed himself to properly look at his master instead of stolen glances when he shouldn't have done so, Yue reached for Clow's hair, untying it so that the black hair spilled like ink over the white of his skin.

There weren't scars or tattoos on Clow's body, nothing to aid his magic but his own strength. Yue tried not to stare but the light played across Clow's body, his cock half hard between his legs and Yue barely stopped himself from touching his master there, instead focusing on the width of his shoulders, the line of his chest, the scent that was completely and undoubtedly Clow.

He felt Clow's laughter before he heard it, a low rumbling feeling beneath his palms before he looked up. Clow's eyes were mischievous as he looked at him and Yue, who rarely flushed despite Cerberus and the Dimensional Witch' attempts, felt himself flush. Clow leaned forward, brushing a kiss against his forehead, moving a hand to cup his face.

“Undress for me.” Clow asked.

This time he didn't even take the time to nod, for all that he reached to undo the violet sash around his waist before he opened the small hidden buttons at his throat and down his chest, letting the tunic also fall down to the ground, sliding his pants down his legs. He was quite aware of the weight of Clow's stare on him but he didn't allow himself to ponder if his master found him desirable. He knew that Clow found him beautiful, had been told that several times. If that beauty that his own master had created - for all that Clow said it had been a gift from the Moon towards him - could help him so that Clow could find the desire of a lover for him instead than just the care for a son, it would be more than enough for him.

His master reached towards him once he stood naked, but Yue was surprised when, at first, Clow just untied his hair too, so it fell to his ankles in a heavy cape of silver. Yue shivered when Clow twined his fingers in his hair, combing his hand down half of it's length and then resting his hand in the small of his back, pressing close to him. His other hand traced the rim of his ear and Yue leaned against the touch.

“What about this?” Clow asked. It took Yue a few seconds to realize that he meant his ear-clip. He shook his head no, reaching a hand to touch it too. Heavy and substantial, it was his favorite gift from all those Clow had bestowed him and Cerberus.

“I don't want to remove it, master.”

Clow sighed, moving his hand from his ear to the back of his neck, giving a small pull to his hair, just enough that his eyes widened a little.

“'Clow', Yue.” His smile was mischievous again even as he leaned forward, nipping at the exposed flesh of his throat.

He murmured his name as they kissed again, Clow's tongue heavy and heady in his mouth, curling inside and teasing his own tongue, and he murmured it again even as Clow walked him gently to the bed, laying him down over the covers and settling at his side as he kept on kissing him. Yue tasted the brandy in Clow's mouth until he was dizzy with it and with the feeling of Clow apparently determined to taste every inch of skin, his mouth kissing and nipping at the skin of his jaw, over his shoulders and to his chest. Yue shivered and muttered his name again, unusual desire burning low and steady through his body, sucking in a breath as Clow allowed his magic to join with Yue's power to taste him, too.

The magic running through his and Clow moving over his body was almost too much. Yue gasped and arched, trying to return the favor the best he could, touching the muscles of Clow's back, pressing his tongue against the pulse beating at Clow's throat, tasting the musk of his armpits, the sharp, saltier taste at his neck, the way his thighs trembled as Yue finally allowed himself to curl his fingers around his cock.

When Clow's fingers finally pressed inside him, Yue moaned, eyes closed as he arched his back, the magic that Clow kept on working against his threading and knitting itself just like his want was doing. Yue pressed his face against Clow's neck, holding unto his shoulders.

“Clow,” his tone was begging but Yue wasn't certain what he wanted to ask because even if he wanted more he also knew that he didn't want this to be over, for the one wish he had asked from Clow to be fulfilled. He gasped again, spreading his legs, unknown please spilling from his mouth with the ease of desperation. “Clow, please...”

His gaps filled the air and Yue moved against Clow's touch again, cool hands sliding up his thighs, light as smoke, before sliding back down again, the breathe of magic as if a thousand of small fires had lit inside him.

Clow kissed him again and Yue twined his arms around his neck, moaning inside his mouth, mind almost completely blank with pleasure and lust, moving his hips against his touch.

Finally, Clow's hands stopped caressing his thighs and Yue felt him parting them, running his touch over them so that Yue lifted his legs and crossed them behind his master's back, the blunt pressure of Clow's cock against his anus barely there. Yue didn't rock into it, still unwilling to act on his own free will when Clow was still able to order him. He didn't have to worry, though: Clow's hans fastened over his hips and held them still, taking him slowly until Yue was trembling again, feeling how Clow took his time, moving inch by inch.

Clow murmured something, but Yue couldn't understand his words, not when he was feeling his master so intimately close, not when Clow's magic was still caressing his and making it sing with his in a way that Yue had never known, the music mirroring each small thrust of Clow's hips, working towards a crescendo.

“Yue...” Clow's voice, though still soft, had gone darker with desire and Yue shivered, forcing his eyes open at the unsaid question, once Clow was completely inside him. With no way to find his voice, not when his whole body was so tense, Yue relied on his magic, answering to Clow's again, as smooth as Silence and Snow and he heard Clow take a deep breath before his master's hand curved under his back and hips, shifting so that Yue had to let go of his neck, moaning at the deep slide of Clow's cock inside him and the almost cruel embrace of the magic until it was hard to realize where he started and where Clow ended; it almost was as if they were merging into a single being again and Yue held unto the covers with all his might.

Yue threw his head back and moaned, still lost in that world that Clow was creating for them both, lost in its vast, deep darkness and heat, magic and pressure. Yue murmured Clow's name once, and then again when he finally met his end; desire, love and want filled every extension in his mind until he was sure he wouldn't stand it, back arching and body tensing, vision graying out.

When Yue opened his eyes again, he was curled in Clow's arms, his head against his chest, Clow's fingers massaging his scalp, twining about his hair the way he had always liked. He shifted a little and Clow's hand stilled.

“Are you alright, Yue?”

Yue shifted, not wishing to move from his master's embrace but wishing to see his face. Clow helped him a little, rolling unto his back and almost taking him with him, until Yue was half over Clow, his hair draped over them both. Clow smiled, eyes dark and satiated, taking a strand of his hair and twirling it around his fingers.

“I'm- yes, master.”

Clow gave a gentle snort but said nothing and Yue realized that his wish had been fulfilled. He should go out of the bed now, pick up his clothes and leave his master to rest. The idea of that was heartbreaking but he was ready to do so. This had been more than he had ever dared to wish for.

He was surprised when Clow's hand moved to the back of his neck, making him lean against him once more for a kiss, nothing but lips again, like that first kiss of the night. Yue closed his eyes, relaxing against the touch, malleable when Clow, after the kiss, guided his head to his chest, moving his hand until it rested exactly over Clow's heart, feeling his heartbeat there.

“Sleep now, my dear Yue,” Clow pulled the sheets close to them, but Yue couldn't feel the cold if there was any, not with his master's body so close and being able to snuggle as close as he dared. Clow's arm rested around his waist, heavier than any fantasy could ever be. “I think tomorrow, we shall have snow.”

Yue heard the unsaid sadness in his master's voice, but before he could manage to open his eyes again and ask about it, he fell asleep, surrounded once more with Clow's warmth and scent.

fic: card captor sakura, summerkink 2007, fic: clamp, communities

Previous post Next post
Up