[Ficlets] Things I Couldn't Say.
For some reason I turned from 'sick-but-happy' to melancholic. Probably the fever. And I can't work on hot!smut like that (sad stuff? Oh, it's going to come out). But, for now, have some random fic-bits of stuff I'm not sure I'm ever going to write properly into a -longer- story, but that I like a lot.
Title: Really Too Late to Call.
Fandom: Death Note.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of the manga.
Characters/couples: Near, Linda. Mentions of Mello and Matt.
Summary: Near wasn't sure why he chose to visit Linda.
Rating: PG.
Really Too Late to Call.
When he had decided to visit Linda, Near hadn't stopped to wonder just why he had had that impulse until he had knocked on her door, his other hand twisting locks of his hair. They hadn't seen each other since they both had left Wammy, and keeping communication with each other would have been a terrible idea anyway. They hadn't even particularly been friends back then, though Near wouldn't have called anyone his friend.
Perhaps because Linda had always been the most empathic of the Wammy kids. Perhaps because she had always been the one - he had found - that had honestly worried about his health when he was sick. Perhaps because she and Matt would have been rivals if any of them had actually cared.
Then Linda opened the door, a soft look in her blue eyes and her long hair down on a braid over her shoulder. She was wearing black and her eyes were rimmed red. She, however, smiled when she saw him standing there, a barely-there smile.
"I'm having tea," she said as ways of a hello, stepping aside. "And some fudge. Do you want some?"
She knew, Near realized. The deaths of Mello and Matt weren't famous, not like Kira's, and he had made sure that their names weren't disclosed, and there weren't photos of them anywhere.
That wouldn't stop a former Wammy kid, though.
"That would be lovely, thank you." Near answered, walking inside Linda's place.
Title: Step Outside My Mind.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts 2.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of KH2.
Characters/couples: Roxas, Sora. Implied Roxas/Axel.
Summary: "Do you miss him?" Sora asks, suddenly.
Rating: PG.
Step Outside My Mind.
"Do you miss him?" Sora asks, suddenly. Roxas blinks at him.
"Who?"
Sora looks at him as if he's dumb. "Axel, silly!"
"I..." Roxas looks away, a little uncomfortable.
"'cause, I mean, he said you were best friends, and you were - uh... I mean, we were so sad when we said goodbye to Pence and the guys..."
Roxas sighs. It's a little hard, he thinks, to explain things like this, when half of what he thinks and feels, he doesn't understand it. He always thought that having a heart and having his memories would fix that, not make it worse, but there are a lot of memories that aren't real and yet they exist deep inside him, there are things that no one but he knows. Now the ache inside him isn't because of a missing heart, but it aches just the same.
Perhaps, the aching was just because of missing something. Or someone. Or both.
"Roxas?"
"Yeah," he says finally. "I guess."
Title: Promise to Hold You Close.
Fandom: Naruto.
Warnings: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden.
Characters/couples: Kakashi/Rin(/Obito)
Summary: Rin starts going crazy soon after Obito dies.
Rating: PG13.
Promise to Hold You Close.
Rin starts going crazy soon after Obito dies. It's innocent enough that no one, not even Kakashi, notices at first. She starts washing her hands every time she can, desperate to get blood that no one else can see from her hands.
After a few months of that, Kakashi belatedly notices that when she talks to him, she doesn't look at his face, even though he wears his hitai-ate over the scar and the eye that Obito inherited him with all the time.
When they start fucking - because they cling to each other despite everything else, because they're all each other have and they know they're incomplete and it's hard to carry on like that - she keeps her eyes closed, and when she comes it's almost as if it hurt her. Later she takes three or four baths and when she comes out, her skin is pink and raw and she keeps avoiding his eyes. Soon after that, she starts muttering to herself.
Rin dies on a mission the night of her seventeenth birthday. Kakashi is too far away from her to do anything; he only gets to see how, after she disposes of a ninja, Rin starts searching for some water to wash her bloodied hands, lips moving as she mutters to herself, and one of the enemies goes after her and cuts her throat from side to side.
Rin doesn't get to scream as she dies. Kakashi is the one that feels the scream closing his throat as he carries her body back to Konoha.
Title: Mea Maxima Culpa.
Fandom: Supernatural.
Warnings: Incest.
Characters/couples: Dean/Sam.
Summary: Redemption doesn't come in pairs.
Rating: R.
Mea Maxima Culpa.
Redemption doesn't come in pairs. Someone always has to take the blame for the stuff that goes wrong. It's part of the fucking balance of the universe, something everyone and their dogs know about. Ying and Yang, Light and Dark, Fire and Ice. Life and Death. Good and Evil.
Dean knows that. He's not sure Sam does, though, because Sam, sometimes, still has that stupid heart of his that wants to believe in happy endings. Despite losing Jessica and their dad and everything, Dean knows that Sam still wants to believe.
He, he knows that endings aren't happy. Not real endings anyway.
So he doesn't feel much guilt as he masturbates in the bathroom of the motels while taking a shower, trying to picture Sam's hand and Sam's touch, just how it would feel for Sam's hand stroking him, his hand broader than his and yet gentler. How it would feel to go down on him. How it would feel to fuck him, and be fucked by him.
Dean knows, after all, that he's doomed, and if only one of them gets redemption, he's damn sure gonna make it so that it's Sam the one that gets it.
Title: Really Too Late to Call.
Fandom: Death Note.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of the manga.
Characters/couples: Near, Linda. Mentions of Mello and Matt.
Summary: Near wasn't sure why he chose to visit Linda.
Rating: PG.
Really Too Late to Call.
When he had decided to visit Linda, Near hadn't stopped to wonder just why he had had that impulse until he had knocked on her door, his other hand twisting locks of his hair. They hadn't seen each other since they both had left Wammy, and keeping communication with each other would have been a terrible idea anyway. They hadn't even particularly been friends back then, though Near wouldn't have called anyone his friend.
Perhaps because Linda had always been the most empathic of the Wammy kids. Perhaps because she had always been the one - he had found - that had honestly worried about his health when he was sick. Perhaps because she and Matt would have been rivals if any of them had actually cared.
Then Linda opened the door, a soft look in her blue eyes and her long hair down on a braid over her shoulder. She was wearing black and her eyes were rimmed red. She, however, smiled when she saw him standing there, a barely-there smile.
"I'm having tea," she said as ways of a hello, stepping aside. "And some fudge. Do you want some?"
She knew, Near realized. The deaths of Mello and Matt weren't famous, not like Kira's, and he had made sure that their names weren't disclosed, and there weren't photos of them anywhere.
That wouldn't stop a former Wammy kid, though.
"That would be lovely, thank you." Near answered, walking inside Linda's place.
Title: Step Outside My Mind.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts 2.
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of KH2.
Characters/couples: Roxas, Sora. Implied Roxas/Axel.
Summary: "Do you miss him?" Sora asks, suddenly.
Rating: PG.
Step Outside My Mind.
"Do you miss him?" Sora asks, suddenly. Roxas blinks at him.
"Who?"
Sora looks at him as if he's dumb. "Axel, silly!"
"I..." Roxas looks away, a little uncomfortable.
"'cause, I mean, he said you were best friends, and you were - uh... I mean, we were so sad when we said goodbye to Pence and the guys..."
Roxas sighs. It's a little hard, he thinks, to explain things like this, when half of what he thinks and feels, he doesn't understand it. He always thought that having a heart and having his memories would fix that, not make it worse, but there are a lot of memories that aren't real and yet they exist deep inside him, there are things that no one but he knows. Now the ache inside him isn't because of a missing heart, but it aches just the same.
Perhaps, the aching was just because of missing something. Or someone. Or both.
"Roxas?"
"Yeah," he says finally. "I guess."
Title: Promise to Hold You Close.
Fandom: Naruto.
Warnings: Spoilers for Kakashi Gaiden.
Characters/couples: Kakashi/Rin(/Obito)
Summary: Rin starts going crazy soon after Obito dies.
Rating: PG13.
Promise to Hold You Close.
Rin starts going crazy soon after Obito dies. It's innocent enough that no one, not even Kakashi, notices at first. She starts washing her hands every time she can, desperate to get blood that no one else can see from her hands.
After a few months of that, Kakashi belatedly notices that when she talks to him, she doesn't look at his face, even though he wears his hitai-ate over the scar and the eye that Obito inherited him with all the time.
When they start fucking - because they cling to each other despite everything else, because they're all each other have and they know they're incomplete and it's hard to carry on like that - she keeps her eyes closed, and when she comes it's almost as if it hurt her. Later she takes three or four baths and when she comes out, her skin is pink and raw and she keeps avoiding his eyes. Soon after that, she starts muttering to herself.
Rin dies on a mission the night of her seventeenth birthday. Kakashi is too far away from her to do anything; he only gets to see how, after she disposes of a ninja, Rin starts searching for some water to wash her bloodied hands, lips moving as she mutters to herself, and one of the enemies goes after her and cuts her throat from side to side.
Rin doesn't get to scream as she dies. Kakashi is the one that feels the scream closing his throat as he carries her body back to Konoha.
Title: Mea Maxima Culpa.
Fandom: Supernatural.
Warnings: Incest.
Characters/couples: Dean/Sam.
Summary: Redemption doesn't come in pairs.
Rating: R.
Mea Maxima Culpa.
Redemption doesn't come in pairs. Someone always has to take the blame for the stuff that goes wrong. It's part of the fucking balance of the universe, something everyone and their dogs know about. Ying and Yang, Light and Dark, Fire and Ice. Life and Death. Good and Evil.
Dean knows that. He's not sure Sam does, though, because Sam, sometimes, still has that stupid heart of his that wants to believe in happy endings. Despite losing Jessica and their dad and everything, Dean knows that Sam still wants to believe.
He, he knows that endings aren't happy. Not real endings anyway.
So he doesn't feel much guilt as he masturbates in the bathroom of the motels while taking a shower, trying to picture Sam's hand and Sam's touch, just how it would feel for Sam's hand stroking him, his hand broader than his and yet gentler. How it would feel to go down on him. How it would feel to fuck him, and be fucked by him.
Dean knows, after all, that he's doomed, and if only one of them gets redemption, he's damn sure gonna make it so that it's Sam the one that gets it.