(no subject)
I keep having dreams that I am breaking up with him. In one, we start as our current selves. Slowly he regresses backwards in age and his boneheaded, uneducated statements get more and more annoying until he finally becomes 12 and I just can't take it anymore. I angrily and forcefully break up with him without remorse. As he follows me around trying to apologize and promising to change, he ages back to an adult and maybe into his 30s. He is beautiful and kind and understanding and his traits that I love beam through him. I cry and cry and apologize, weeping that I was mistaken and of course we should stay together.
In the next, I secretly start dating a clinically depressed PeeWee Herman (I don't fucking get why but I keep asking if I should call him Stuart or PeeWee) and I keep Nick from knowing for weeks. I want to break up with PeeWee/Stuart because... I mean I'm sure you can imagine how annoying a clinically depressed PeeWee Herman would be. But I don't because I don't have the heart to, I know it will make him so sad. The whole time he thinks I am going to leave Nick for him. Finally we have sex, depressing weird PeeWee Herman's Playhouse-esque sex, and he doesn't stay in the bed to cuddle with me afterwards. At this point he and Nick become the same person and when he finds me in the subway station in a couple hours I tell him it's over and that I never want to see him again.