(no subject)

Mar 13, 2008 22:55

*headdesk*headdesk*headdesk*

I've been staring at the computer for near an hour now, comtemplating, lazily, over and over the possibilities of going forward with this

and I keep coming up with some of the same old ideas I've had, fixing, tweaking, a few REALLY old ideas, a couple new ideas, but nothing that really sits up and barks, demanding to be written

I hate this

I mean, I feel like I'm a good writer overall, I certainly don't think I'm a bad writer - I think I can be a very wordy writer, but I think I'm good overall, but

but really, I owe 90% of it to muse and intuition and inspiration - and ever since we left Chicago, I am inspiration-less, makes me wonder if I did the right thing, if maybe I screwed something up somewhere along the way

usually I'm only this lost if I've fucked up something major

trouble is, I don't think I have, in fact, I think it's exactly right what I did - so where am I going wrong? where am I empty? and where are my muses? because I've got nothing without them

mustunlockmagicofwriting- goinginsane - ACK

sigh

and only one baby bald eagle lives, sorry momma

where've all the ideas gone? I really need to reconnect, maybe I'm just too disconnected - too lost, too off course - I don't know... something .. .I need just SOMETHING, ANYTHING one word, one thought and I can go forward, but so far, it's all poo - UGH

so mad
*headdesk*

don't look, it's going to get ugly
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