(no subject)
so I'm going to attempt to start posting on a more regular basis in the evening after Piper's gone to bed
it's nice to have me time again now that James is working
don't get me wrong, I love him, but for the last couple of months, I've not had any me time and even less time with my baby since I've been working so much to make up for the fact that James was out of work
there's already talk of a somewhat significant promotion, so that's good
as for me, I have to ask, I have to wonder, is it really childish to still have fantasies or dreams of one day being famous or at least somewhat known by a large community of individuals?
I think it might be, and maybe it's my age, but I still have those dreams
sometimes it's related to writing, sometimes it's related to training or work related things
but damnit before I leave this world, I'd like to be known for something that I've done
maybe it's not childish, maybe it's simply natural, to want to be remembered
I dunno
but what I do know is if I ever really want to be recognized for my writing (which, by the by, if you're not following Kat and I know that only 2 people are) you are missing out, buddy - because, that's right, I'm gonna say it, I rock =oP
but I feel slightly arrogant right now, man, I could blow some people out of the water, if only I can get it done - and I can, it's just a matter of time baby for you see me everywhere and you know it, you're gonna wanna piece o'me ;)
Just wait, I'm biding my time to take the right bite of the industry, I'll get there
I'm definitely in one of those, watch out world, I'm on the move, moods. And that's okay because I've been feeling pretty down lately - upset that I'm not further along in my piece, upset about James' job situation, upset about my job situation
now don't get me wrong, I do like my job still, I mean how cool is it my job to be able to work with wild animals every day?
but after nearly five years (10 months in my current position, especially in relation to my current position) I'm really bored - I loved rehab so much because it was engaging, intriguing, made me think and was always something new
with my promotion, it's a lot of monotony and dealing with volunteers (who are great, but sometimes I think that I take them for granted and wish that they could do it all after being told once, it's gets old saying the same thing 40 times in a week) but that's the same for everybody, I think - monotony sucks
the best parts of my job are the smallest parts of my job - the health checks, the handling, the training and the manning/operant conditioning - I'm learning that this ultimate power position as it were, is not all that rewarding in and of it self
I'd rather be an animal trainer (doesn't have to be raptors, I'd love to work with marine mammals some day) or a wildlife rehabilitator or vet tech
this admin stuff and managing 60 people stuff sucks
you know, I fought so hard for this position and the money I've been given and the hours and the freedom that I have now, but I really really want out, I want to do something new with my life, so somewhere else and I feel like in the next couple of years that my maximized window of opportunity will be closed
there are several openings around the country that I'd jump at and there's even one down at Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia with similar pay and less admin and more fun work - it's close so that move wouldn't be as costly as one to San Antonio would be, but I feel like by applying I'm looking at the organization who has really helped tremendously in making me what I am today and slapping them in the face
I just don't know what to do
The zoo has an opportunity to work with penguins!! but... can I really look at CRC and say "see ya" after all they've done - after what I'm trying to do for them - there's so much I want to do, but I'm so constricted, so limited, it's frustrating and tiring - it really is a wonderful organization, but it's the nature of being a non-profit, I suppose
you really do have to fight tooth and nail for every dime coming in and going out and it makes me tired
I remember when I had my dream of being a falconer for injured birds and, my goodness, how much would I love that, still, but that's not going to happen, not right now
one dream at a time and I feel as though I am way closer to a new job or a finished novel (Kat) than being a falconer
that would be the curse of high ambitions - so much to do and so little time, I've only got the next 60 years :)
we'll see
watch out LKH, I'm about to steal your readers who are bored with sex and want a strong female fucked up lead - I'm about to step it up. :)
it's nice to have me time again now that James is working
don't get me wrong, I love him, but for the last couple of months, I've not had any me time and even less time with my baby since I've been working so much to make up for the fact that James was out of work
there's already talk of a somewhat significant promotion, so that's good
as for me, I have to ask, I have to wonder, is it really childish to still have fantasies or dreams of one day being famous or at least somewhat known by a large community of individuals?
I think it might be, and maybe it's my age, but I still have those dreams
sometimes it's related to writing, sometimes it's related to training or work related things
but damnit before I leave this world, I'd like to be known for something that I've done
maybe it's not childish, maybe it's simply natural, to want to be remembered
I dunno
but what I do know is if I ever really want to be recognized for my writing (which, by the by, if you're not following Kat and I know that only 2 people are) you are missing out, buddy - because, that's right, I'm gonna say it, I rock =oP
but I feel slightly arrogant right now, man, I could blow some people out of the water, if only I can get it done - and I can, it's just a matter of time baby for you see me everywhere and you know it, you're gonna wanna piece o'me ;)
Just wait, I'm biding my time to take the right bite of the industry, I'll get there
I'm definitely in one of those, watch out world, I'm on the move, moods. And that's okay because I've been feeling pretty down lately - upset that I'm not further along in my piece, upset about James' job situation, upset about my job situation
now don't get me wrong, I do like my job still, I mean how cool is it my job to be able to work with wild animals every day?
but after nearly five years (10 months in my current position, especially in relation to my current position) I'm really bored - I loved rehab so much because it was engaging, intriguing, made me think and was always something new
with my promotion, it's a lot of monotony and dealing with volunteers (who are great, but sometimes I think that I take them for granted and wish that they could do it all after being told once, it's gets old saying the same thing 40 times in a week) but that's the same for everybody, I think - monotony sucks
the best parts of my job are the smallest parts of my job - the health checks, the handling, the training and the manning/operant conditioning - I'm learning that this ultimate power position as it were, is not all that rewarding in and of it self
I'd rather be an animal trainer (doesn't have to be raptors, I'd love to work with marine mammals some day) or a wildlife rehabilitator or vet tech
this admin stuff and managing 60 people stuff sucks
you know, I fought so hard for this position and the money I've been given and the hours and the freedom that I have now, but I really really want out, I want to do something new with my life, so somewhere else and I feel like in the next couple of years that my maximized window of opportunity will be closed
there are several openings around the country that I'd jump at and there's even one down at Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia with similar pay and less admin and more fun work - it's close so that move wouldn't be as costly as one to San Antonio would be, but I feel like by applying I'm looking at the organization who has really helped tremendously in making me what I am today and slapping them in the face
I just don't know what to do
The zoo has an opportunity to work with penguins!! but... can I really look at CRC and say "see ya" after all they've done - after what I'm trying to do for them - there's so much I want to do, but I'm so constricted, so limited, it's frustrating and tiring - it really is a wonderful organization, but it's the nature of being a non-profit, I suppose
you really do have to fight tooth and nail for every dime coming in and going out and it makes me tired
I remember when I had my dream of being a falconer for injured birds and, my goodness, how much would I love that, still, but that's not going to happen, not right now
one dream at a time and I feel as though I am way closer to a new job or a finished novel (Kat) than being a falconer
that would be the curse of high ambitions - so much to do and so little time, I've only got the next 60 years :)
we'll see
watch out LKH, I'm about to steal your readers who are bored with sex and want a strong female fucked up lead - I'm about to step it up. :)