Recommendation: Turn on Comedy Central NOW!
Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Concert for Autism Education.
Phone # to call and donate: 1-877-WRIT-OFF. I'm pretty sure that's the number that flashed up, but I'd recommend double-checking by watching for a bit and waiting to see it again.
That's it! The number is 1-877-974-8633.
From the news:
The [special] will raise money for schools and education programs for autistic children and adults, with some of the money going to the advocacy group Autism Speaks. The last “Night of Too Many Stars” in October 2006 raised more than $2.6 million.
Both have been spearheaded by Robert Smigel, best known for his character Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Smigel, whose son Daniel is autistic, is well-known and respected among comedians, and it’s his connections that drew glut of talent.
At the phone bank: Matthew Broderick, Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mulally, Ben Stiller, Will Arnett, and more as the night progresses.
cleolinda manages it.
I'm off to grab something to eat now.
Phone # to call and donate: 1-877-WRIT-OFF. I'm pretty sure that's the number that flashed up, but I'd recommend double-checking by watching for a bit and waiting to see it again.
That's it! The number is 1-877-974-8633.
From the news:
The [special] will raise money for schools and education programs for autistic children and adults, with some of the money going to the advocacy group Autism Speaks. The last “Night of Too Many Stars” in October 2006 raised more than $2.6 million.
Both have been spearheaded by Robert Smigel, best known for his character Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Smigel, whose son Daniel is autistic, is well-known and respected among comedians, and it’s his connections that drew glut of talent.
At the phone bank: Matthew Broderick, Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mulally, Ben Stiller, Will Arnett, and more as the night progresses.
- Jon Stewart as host!
- Musical number at the beginning with hordes of stars.
- Stephen Colbert can't be here, so he's sent in a substitute: gay!Stephen Colbert, who is a lookalike.
- ***Video about autism.*** [I added this in while typing up the report, I can't remember any exact quotes.]
- Steve Carrell demonstrating via live video from L.A. the equivalent of a $100 donation: a chocolate cake, six mojitos, and a bottle of Robitussin. ($50: half a cake and three mojitos and Robitussin.) Advice: "Should've given this money to autism education. The mojitos were a mistake, and I feel very sick."
- Free gifts with donations! For $50: a very sexy oven mitt. $100: ski mask with "Anonymous Donor" emblazoned on the front.
- Kevin James & Jerry Stiller as part of the Blue Man Group.
- Kid from Superbad(?): "It's your choice whether we have a lady president, a black president, or a normal president."
- Will Farrell as Bush! To Stewart: "How's it hangin', wiseass?" Much threatening of Stewart: "You've been roasting my ass for 7 years." ... "Your children's children" will be harassed by IRS, etc. Bush is writing his (fictional) memoirs: "If you wanna read the real stuff, go read the micro-fish at the library." Stewart: "Micro-FEESH, sir." "These memoirs will be a cross between Harry Potter, Diehard, and Forrest Gump." Can Bush share any lessons from his seven years as President? "...Nope."
[break]
- Senator Chris Dodd is on the panel. He's been strong in trying to pass laws to help the cause for autism. With each donation, he offers 100 sheets of "Chris Dodd for President!" stationary, from his failed bid for the presidential nomination a few years(?) ago from this year! [My mistake! He dropped out after the Iowa caucus, in which he placed 7th.]
- A candle company has donated $50,000, and has set up a Relaxation suite backstage for the stars. There's the Blue Man Group, and gay!Stephen Colbert (a lookalike, as Stephen Colbert couldn't be there[?]).
- Who is this "Larry" guy? Must be a comedian of some sort, and his voice sounds so familiar... eta: Larry David, maybe?
[break]
- Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton at the phone bank! *ringring* "My 35 years of experience more than qualifies me to take this call... There is no color phone I'm afraid to pick up..." *ringring* Stewart: "Shouldn't you answer?"
- White Castle donated $100,000. Exec comes out groping Tina Fey. Tina: "I was involved getting them to sponsor... I said, 'For $100,000, you could hold my boob from now 'til Sunday!'" Exec: "At WC, family comes first..."
- Rosie O'Donnell, doing stand-up. "In the celeb suite, me and gay!Stephen were singing show tunes." Topics: parenting and being gay, being on The View, religion ("I've always thought of myself as Jewish...")
[break]
- Tina Fey's @ the phone bank, with the WC exec still glued to her side (and his hand to her boob).
- Gov. of NY, David Paterson (a comedian, of course) is also at the phone bank. General confessional of everything he did wrong, to hopefully avoid the scandals of his predecessor.
- Performance by Maroon 5.
- ***Video about autism. "Education is the only proven treatment for autism." The money raised tonight will go to expand schools for autism, and to make the resources more available to people who need them.***
[break. Hey, John Oliver has a standup special next Sunday! Cool!]
- Toyota donated a Corolla (sp?), which is being auctioned off. Gov. Paterson is out front to give it a test spin. ...or not, as he's legally blind.
- Sarah Silverman's on. "I've a very, very famous star, so I have to only choose charity events that are on television." Very stream-of-consciousness so far, just jumping from topic to topic. (I've never really liked her as a comedian, so... yeah. Vending machine run!)
[break. Excellent, I made it back while the commercials are still on. OMG, I do not want to see AVP: Requiem.]
- ALL-STAR ROAST! Roastee: Adam Sandler, Roastmaster: Kevin James.
Sandler: "What are you doing, insulting me or something?"
Stewart: "...it's a roast."
Heeee, Adam's swearing at Jon. Doesn't "get" the concept of a roast. ;)
Sandler: *with false smile, to KJ*: "Yeah yeah yeah, this is great buddy, go ahead."
Conan: "You've always shown yourself to be a role model for goofy idiots everywhere."
Sandler: *bleeeeeeeeeeep*
Triumph the Comic Insult Dog: *decides retreat is the better part of valor*
Rob Schneider: *gets beat up by KJ, on Sandler's orders*
[break. Up next(?): Ben & Jerry Stiller.]
- Woot! The candle company doubled it's pledge! $100,000 dollars from them. Tina Fey says that the WC exec has exclusivity on her boob, so Candle Guy went up to another comedian and grabbed his chest for a few seconds.
- Heee! Ben Stiller and more are singing "We didn't start the fire" to the names of some of the donors. LOL, Jerry Stiller is one of the dancers on this song, still blue-faced and blue-handed. :D
[break. Up next: Chris Rock. Hm, those Thriller-vitamin-water lizards are simultaneously amusing and creepy.]
- Hee! Chris Rock, because he's got a special coming out on another channel, isn't allowed to perform his material until it has aired. But he is not prohibited from performing another comedian's material... Steven Wright(sp?). Oh look, it's Steven Wright coming out onstage! (I have never heard of Steven Wright.) SW speaks in a very serious monotone and maintains a totally flat expression. They're having a sort of joke-off: which one can make the audience laugh harder.
- ***Video about autism after-school programs, which this program is funding. "All the resources here are focused on benefiting [the kids]."***
- Hot damn. Stewart: "Through a live auction, we're going to raise half a million in 2 minutes." "C'mon, the economy's not tanking, it's a delusion!" One person stands for 50k, a few for 25k, a bunch more for 10k, lots of people for 1,000.
[break]
- And the conclusion! Performance by The Roots, thank yous, and good night!
cleolinda manages it.
I'm off to grab something to eat now.