April 11th...
This morning I woke up with puffy eyes and a lingering pain in my head and behind my eyes, no doubt a remnant from the night before...with a total lack of motivation to get myself out of bed and start the day I pushed snooze and laid down for a short nine minutes of sleep before it screached at me again, this time more annoying than the time before...I dragged my exhausted body out of bed and threw myself together while waking Em and trying to convince her to put her clothes on so she won't be late for school...yet another stressful morning of racing the clock and struggling to wake up...
I made my way to work after dropping Emily off at school...and stopped on the way to drop off her clothes at her dad's. He was pleasant...I have to say he has been pleasant a lot lately...I'm tempted to want to trust that but no better than to think it will last long...although, I still hope. And atleast for the time being, it's nice to see him when he's being this way.
While driving to work I listened to the song "hungary" over and over again while attempting to focus on the words, what they mean, and sing them to God...but I had to keep playing it since my focus was constantly being lost in the mess of daydreaming and thinking I was doing. I've noticed that my mind is extremely active in the morning...it's hard for me to concentrate on anything when it's early. So I kept trying but continued to lost focus, and finally I arrived at work.
From the moment I walked in the door, to the minute I left, I was focused on work, work work, after 7 hours of cutting tiny rectangular coupons to stuff in Easter Eggs for our upcoming event, my back was aching, my eyes struggling to keep focus...my mind exhausted with the project...I spent the next 3 hours stuffing eggs, with candy and those dreaded coupons I'd spent hours creating...
A hint of excitement...finally...after these long draining hours of mindless work that was breaking my back...I was on my way to meet up with a Girl...a girl who could quite possibly be a great friend someday...or a great enemy, I never can tell....to do one of my favorite things....karaoke :)
I met her at her apartment, cute place....met her cat as well that seemed to take a liking to me and proceeded to follow me about the entire time I was there...we talked...while she got ready to go...and then proceeded to Portland for some delicious food and then to the Boiler Room for Karoake! It was awesome too! She sang "unwritten" and did a really good job of it...and I sang Me & Bobby Mcgee...which wasn't my best performance but fun either way! And we continued to talk laugh and just enjoy the evening...no stress, no drama, no lies....nothing but two girls smiling and singing and getting to know eachother...
I'm a little worried at this point, I hate getting excited about things like friendship...it always seems to blow up in my face..but just the same I am...I had fun tonight...I missed Brandon..wished he could sing with me...hang out with us....laugh...I also missed Emily....I'm missing her even more now....looking at her pillow next to mine (since she joined me in bed last night) makes me want to kiss her and tell her I love her and I can't.
Now I'm falling asleep looking into this bright screen and trying not to lose focus on the words I'm trying to write....So for now...
TaTa....talk to you soon :)
I made my way to work after dropping Emily off at school...and stopped on the way to drop off her clothes at her dad's. He was pleasant...I have to say he has been pleasant a lot lately...I'm tempted to want to trust that but no better than to think it will last long...although, I still hope. And atleast for the time being, it's nice to see him when he's being this way.
While driving to work I listened to the song "hungary" over and over again while attempting to focus on the words, what they mean, and sing them to God...but I had to keep playing it since my focus was constantly being lost in the mess of daydreaming and thinking I was doing. I've noticed that my mind is extremely active in the morning...it's hard for me to concentrate on anything when it's early. So I kept trying but continued to lost focus, and finally I arrived at work.
From the moment I walked in the door, to the minute I left, I was focused on work, work work, after 7 hours of cutting tiny rectangular coupons to stuff in Easter Eggs for our upcoming event, my back was aching, my eyes struggling to keep focus...my mind exhausted with the project...I spent the next 3 hours stuffing eggs, with candy and those dreaded coupons I'd spent hours creating...
A hint of excitement...finally...after these long draining hours of mindless work that was breaking my back...I was on my way to meet up with a Girl...a girl who could quite possibly be a great friend someday...or a great enemy, I never can tell....to do one of my favorite things....karaoke :)
I met her at her apartment, cute place....met her cat as well that seemed to take a liking to me and proceeded to follow me about the entire time I was there...we talked...while she got ready to go...and then proceeded to Portland for some delicious food and then to the Boiler Room for Karoake! It was awesome too! She sang "unwritten" and did a really good job of it...and I sang Me & Bobby Mcgee...which wasn't my best performance but fun either way! And we continued to talk laugh and just enjoy the evening...no stress, no drama, no lies....nothing but two girls smiling and singing and getting to know eachother...
I'm a little worried at this point, I hate getting excited about things like friendship...it always seems to blow up in my face..but just the same I am...I had fun tonight...I missed Brandon..wished he could sing with me...hang out with us....laugh...I also missed Emily....I'm missing her even more now....looking at her pillow next to mine (since she joined me in bed last night) makes me want to kiss her and tell her I love her and I can't.
Now I'm falling asleep looking into this bright screen and trying not to lose focus on the words I'm trying to write....So for now...
TaTa....talk to you soon :)