no..im not complaining about my life-im just venting about my feelings.
not in that great of a mood.
mother left this morning for new orleans. she has to take a test tomorrow for LOPA and i am stuck here with my dad since my brother is in georgia. and i hate when its just me and my dad, like i really do mean i HATE it. so, i worked at LCH today and he told me something and i got sad because he was yelling and anytime anyone yells at me, i cry or i get really close to crying. i just get scared when people yell and i cry. it's something thats always happened to me. s0o, i was about to cry and he said "you take everything so personally and seriously, you need to chill because you can't always take everything so personally" so i got sad and mad. and he was like see-this is ezactlly what im talking about. UGHH. i hate when he does that. i cannot wait to get away from him when im gone for all of july. i really want my parents to divorce, but don't have the heart to tell my mom that i extremely dis-like my dad and i think she deserves better. i really wish i could-because i would love life oh so much more and i wouldn't dread coming home to him yelling. yes my parents fight, on a daily basis..its becoming a normal thing now. whenever you do something wrong or something he doesn't like-he flips out and starts yelling a cursing at everyone. i swear he needs anger management class or something, like im not joking. and my room is right next to theirs, so everything they argue about, i hear. last night my dad said "the only time she ever talks to me is when she needs money" and they were talking about my trip to NC, so i know that "she" was me. and that is BULLSHIT..i talk to him, not that much because he's always pissed, but i talk to him and correction, i never get any money from him, ever..my mom is the only one i get money from, because he would probably get mad if i asked him. and excusee me, but WHO paid for their trip to NC?! thats right, me and my mother. he wanted NOTHING to do with it. i paid half and so did my mom. yeah thats right-i worked to pay for my trip and he thinks he's just giving me the money. NO, its coming from LCH and its not HIS money.
THENN..
>i worked today at LCH with becca and demi [becca is cool, but i already don't like demi] we were all talking today about people drinking, because it started when we saw the smoking law had passed..and then they started talking about their favorite drinks [they are not 21] and it made me very uncomfortable..like unbelievably because i hate being around environments with talks about drugs/drinking..or people who do it. well-i stated my opinion about how i feel EXTREMELY strong about never drinking or doing drugs. well, they looked at me like i was completely stupid. i was like hey-atleast im not the one who drinks underage without their parents knowing. and demi got mad, but becca was kool about it, she respected where i came from. we just have different views. so demi says-well, your brother is an alcoholic. i was like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! my brother is not, nor will he ever be one. and she goes, well-yeah what do you think he does when he goes out with his friends?! then i was like NOT DRINK! i mean-yeah he's done it before-he admitted to me that he has..and i know he does like once every 4 or 5 months and he never gets drunk at all. I DO NOT THINK THAT CLASSIFIES AS AN ALCOHOLIC! i was like you drink, i know you do..and its sad that i know what an alcoholic is and you don't. you think my brothers proud that he drinks?! fuck no he's not. and you couldn't even call it drinking..its not like he gets drunk every weekend..he doesn't even get drunk. he barely drinks. so you know nothing about my brother-so you need to stop. then she goes..well, i didn't know you feel so strongly about it. WELL NEWSFLASH-i do. and no one is going to tell me my beliefs are stupid and that my brother is an alcoholic-when you don't even know him. its not going to fuckin' happen like that. i respect your beliefs, respect mine. i hate demi now. it has really gotten to a hate level, if she's going to talk about my family like that.
ANDD TO TOP EVERYTHING OFF-
>>i am being treated like shit from some of my friends, because i geuss i am not "cool" enough for them, or they have better friends they rather talk to. so, instead of telling me, they lie to me. ok, so i know how it feels to be lied to now, but i said i would never do it again, but i still have people judging me on the person i was for that month and i hate it. i absolutely do. next time you do something like that to me, put yourself in my position and think about how much it would hurt you. [thats all im saying] im not being mean about it, i'm just saying, and im not going to be mean. just because your mean to me, doesn't mean that i have to be the same way back.
-comment, i would love to read something-
♥
mother left this morning for new orleans. she has to take a test tomorrow for LOPA and i am stuck here with my dad since my brother is in georgia. and i hate when its just me and my dad, like i really do mean i HATE it. so, i worked at LCH today and he told me something and i got sad because he was yelling and anytime anyone yells at me, i cry or i get really close to crying. i just get scared when people yell and i cry. it's something thats always happened to me. s0o, i was about to cry and he said "you take everything so personally and seriously, you need to chill because you can't always take everything so personally" so i got sad and mad. and he was like see-this is ezactlly what im talking about. UGHH. i hate when he does that. i cannot wait to get away from him when im gone for all of july. i really want my parents to divorce, but don't have the heart to tell my mom that i extremely dis-like my dad and i think she deserves better. i really wish i could-because i would love life oh so much more and i wouldn't dread coming home to him yelling. yes my parents fight, on a daily basis..its becoming a normal thing now. whenever you do something wrong or something he doesn't like-he flips out and starts yelling a cursing at everyone. i swear he needs anger management class or something, like im not joking. and my room is right next to theirs, so everything they argue about, i hear. last night my dad said "the only time she ever talks to me is when she needs money" and they were talking about my trip to NC, so i know that "she" was me. and that is BULLSHIT..i talk to him, not that much because he's always pissed, but i talk to him and correction, i never get any money from him, ever..my mom is the only one i get money from, because he would probably get mad if i asked him. and excusee me, but WHO paid for their trip to NC?! thats right, me and my mother. he wanted NOTHING to do with it. i paid half and so did my mom. yeah thats right-i worked to pay for my trip and he thinks he's just giving me the money. NO, its coming from LCH and its not HIS money.
THENN..
>i worked today at LCH with becca and demi [becca is cool, but i already don't like demi] we were all talking today about people drinking, because it started when we saw the smoking law had passed..and then they started talking about their favorite drinks [they are not 21] and it made me very uncomfortable..like unbelievably because i hate being around environments with talks about drugs/drinking..or people who do it. well-i stated my opinion about how i feel EXTREMELY strong about never drinking or doing drugs. well, they looked at me like i was completely stupid. i was like hey-atleast im not the one who drinks underage without their parents knowing. and demi got mad, but becca was kool about it, she respected where i came from. we just have different views. so demi says-well, your brother is an alcoholic. i was like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! my brother is not, nor will he ever be one. and she goes, well-yeah what do you think he does when he goes out with his friends?! then i was like NOT DRINK! i mean-yeah he's done it before-he admitted to me that he has..and i know he does like once every 4 or 5 months and he never gets drunk at all. I DO NOT THINK THAT CLASSIFIES AS AN ALCOHOLIC! i was like you drink, i know you do..and its sad that i know what an alcoholic is and you don't. you think my brothers proud that he drinks?! fuck no he's not. and you couldn't even call it drinking..its not like he gets drunk every weekend..he doesn't even get drunk. he barely drinks. so you know nothing about my brother-so you need to stop. then she goes..well, i didn't know you feel so strongly about it. WELL NEWSFLASH-i do. and no one is going to tell me my beliefs are stupid and that my brother is an alcoholic-when you don't even know him. its not going to fuckin' happen like that. i respect your beliefs, respect mine. i hate demi now. it has really gotten to a hate level, if she's going to talk about my family like that.
ANDD TO TOP EVERYTHING OFF-
>>i am being treated like shit from some of my friends, because i geuss i am not "cool" enough for them, or they have better friends they rather talk to. so, instead of telling me, they lie to me. ok, so i know how it feels to be lied to now, but i said i would never do it again, but i still have people judging me on the person i was for that month and i hate it. i absolutely do. next time you do something like that to me, put yourself in my position and think about how much it would hurt you. [thats all im saying] im not being mean about it, i'm just saying, and im not going to be mean. just because your mean to me, doesn't mean that i have to be the same way back.
-comment, i would love to read something-
♥