Closer to Touch, Never Enough, Brendon/Spencer, R
Title: Closer to Touch, Never Enough
Authors: fallintosilence and boweryd
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Spencer
Word Count: 5,000+
Summary: Spencer is really hot. Spencer is really hot and really shirtless and really straddling Brendon's waist on his shitty mattress on the floor, and Brendon really wishes he was dead instead of a total headcase who was cockblocking himself. Because wow, is Spencer hot.
Warnings: Overstimulation, biting, shame issues. Both characters are under the age of 18 but of the legal age of consent.
Author Notes: Written for the kink bingo prompt "sensation play." Thanks to untappedbeauty for the awesome and speedy beta. Title is from the song "New Heights" by A Fine Frenzy.
Spencer is really hot. Spencer is really hot and really shirtless and really straddling Brendon's waist on his shitty mattress on the floor, and Brendon really wishes he was dead instead of a total headcase who was cockblocking himself. Because wow, is Spencer hot. Also, Spencer keeps saying stuff, stuff that's making Brendon blush and squirm and generally feel like an even bigger idiot, because, seriously.
"You look really good in that shirt," Spencer says as he kisses at Brendon's jaw.
"It's just-- just an undershirt," Brendon says, tightening his grip on Spencer's arms and trying not to arch up when Spencer sucks at the skin beneath his ear. "We have to wear them under our polos at work."
"Uh-huh," Spencer mumbles, kissing his way down Brendon's neck in a way that's making it really hard to stay still. "You still look hot."
"That's good," Brendon says, wincing as soon as the words are out of his mouth. It doesn't help that Spencer laughs into his neck, but then Spencer sucks at this place right over his collarbone that makes Brendon gasp and squirm, and his face feels so hot he's going to die from blushing. It's totally possible. He's pretty sure.
"Shit," Spencer says, his voice low and rough in a way that makes Brendon's stomach twist up tight. "Brendon, seriously," and then his hands are pushing beneath Brendon's shirt, skimming it up, and everything in Brendon's body is thinking yes, yes, yes but for some reason his brain is panicking and his mouth is saying, "No, hey, just," and Spencer groans softly and drops his head to Brendon's shoulder as he pulls his hands back out from under Brendon's shirt.
"I'm sorry," Brendon says, feeling stupidly like he wants to cry. "It's just."
"No, hey, Brendon, I'm sorry," Spencer says, pulling back and leaning down to kiss Brendon gently. "It's okay. It's my fault, I got kind of-- you're really hot, fuck," Spencer says, laughing a little and shaking his head. "I didn't mean to."
"It's not," Brendon says, swallowing heavily. "It's not that-- I want to," he says, feeling his face heat back up. "I really, really want to, I just. I wasn't supposed to, or whatever, and so I've never, and it's just kind of. Scary. I don't know. That sounds stupid. It's just being naked, and, like, letting you. I don't know. I'm a freak. I'm a freak of nature, and I am a defective teenager, and I'm going to die a virgin while you're off having tons of hot sex with hot people who like to be naked. Oh my god why can't I stop talking?"
"Brendon," Spencer says, stroking hair away from Brendon's forehead, "you're kind of an idiot."
"I know," Brendon groans. "I know, and I try not to be. It's just, like, a bigger deal than I thought it would be and I totally understand if you want to break up and, like--"
Spencer leans in and kisses Brendon mid-sentence, biting down a little on Brendon's lower lip in that way that makes Brendon gasp and squirm again. Before he knows it he's right back where he started, hard and holding on to Spencer's arms desperately as Spencer kisses him deep and slow.
"This okay?" Spencer asks, pulling away.
"Yeah, yes, I promise," Brendon gasps out. He's so hard he can't even be embarrassed that he's babbling.
"What about this?" Spencer asks, kissing down Brendon's neck again, sucking and biting just enough that Brendon's going to have marks again, more hickeys that he'll press his fingers to and blush while he's making someone's pineapple gauva smoothie.
"Yeah," Brendon says, trying to keep himself from squirming again. "Yes, I really, really like that."
"I can tell," Spencer says against his skin. "The noises you make are pretty fucking hot." Brendon thinks he probably blushes at that, but it's hard to tell since he's already flushed from Spencer on top of him, kissing him. Brendon mostly just feels stupid and squirmy and kind of itchy, his whole body really sensitive and aware of everywhere Spencer's touching him.
"What about this?" Spencer asks, trailing his lips down the v-neck of Brendon's shirt and then kissing over the fabric. It kind of tickles, at first, the fabric scratching over his skin, but then Spencer puts his lips around Brendon's nipple and sucks, his mouth wetting the fabric and making it cling and scrape, and Brendon's pretty sure he's going to come in his pants, holy crap.
"Spencer, Spence, that's--" Brendon gasps out, grabbing at Spencer's shoulders. Spencer stops and lifts his mouth, but Brendon shakes his head quickly, trying to ignore the way his face is still hot and red because he wants Spencer's mouth back, oh god. "No, please, I want-- don't stop, Spence, it's good."
"Yeah?" Spencer asks, raising his eyebrows and grinning too wide. Brendon just tilts his head back and moans weakly as Spencer fits his lips back over Brendon's nipple, his mouth warm and wet through the material of Brendon's shirt. Spencer sucks and Brendon can feel his body arch up without his permission, squirming underneath Spencer and gasping when Spencer's teeth accidentally drag over his nipple.
"Shit, sorry," Spencer says quickly, pulling back and pressing his thumb gently over Brendon's nipple, through the wet fabric. Brendon just shakes his head.
"No, no, it's, I kind of-- do it again," Brendon finishes quickly. He hopes to god Spencer won't make him ask, because as hot as this is and as much as Brendon's cock is throbbing right now, he doesn't think he can bring himself to say the word "nipple" out loud. He's embarrassed enough already when Spencer's eyes go dark and he leans back down, moving to Brendon's other nipple and sucking around it just hard enough to have Brendon arching up again. He's unable to stay still with the heat that shoots through his stomach at Spencer's mouth on him, at the way it feels.
"You're amazing," Brendon breathes out without thinking. "It feels like-- oh my god." Brendon cuts himself off with a groan as Spencer scrapes his teeth across Brendon's nipple again, biting down softly and keeping his weight over Brendon when Brendon moans and squirms. He wants to feel embarrassed, he should feel embarrassed, but it's not his fault that this feels fucking incredible. Besides, Brendon can feel how hard Spencer is through his pajama pants, pressing in against Brendon's thigh, and it's a little scary and new but also strangely comforting to know he's not the only one who's really, really turned on by this.
Spencer shifts his hips down a little and groans around Brendon's nipple, and Brendon swears he can feel the vibration of it, the way it rumbles out and over Brendon's skin through the wet fabric of his shirt. Brendon feels overwhelmed and turned on and kind of like he's about to just burst out of his body if Spencer keeps biting at his nipple and then licking over it. It doesn't really hurt, it just stings a little in a surprisingly hot way that makes Brendon whine and squirm and arch up helplessly underneath Spencer. Brendon's glad Spencer's on top, warm and solid and holding him down so he doesn't just float right out of his body at the way this feels, because wow.
"Spencer," he gasps without meaning to. "Spencer, I don't. Just like, I can't, I don't know--" he cuts himself off, biting down into his lip, because seriously, what is wrong with him.
"You okay?" Spencer asks, pulling back, and Brendon whines through his closed lips at the sight of Spencer's face, his eyes dark and hot and his mouth red and wet with spit. Brendon can feel how wet his shirt is, the fabric cool and clingy in the air now that Spencer's mouth isn't keeping it warm. "Do you want to stop?"
"No," Brendon says, desperately and way too loud. "No, please don't stop, I just don't know how, like, I can't--" Brendon can't finish, he doesn't even really know what he's trying to say, but he thinks maybe Spencer gets it when he leans in and kisses Brendon hot and deep, his hand coming up to stroke at the wet fabric over Brendon's nipple, making it catch and drag on his skin. Brendon hisses against Spencer's mouth and arches up, groaning when his cock presses against Spencer's through their pajama pants. It feels good, feels amazing, and Brendon wants to arch up and just rub, wants Spencer to settle back on top of him and hold him down and rub against him, but he can't help the sick dread in his stomach at the thought of taking off their clothes, at Spencer seeing him naked. He's frustrated and pissed off at himself, and his eyes are starting to sting the way they do right before he starts to cry.
"Hey," Spencer says, pulling back and staring down at Brendon. "I'm gonna touch you, okay? Over your clothes, and you can tell me if you don't want me to or if you don't like it. And I'll stop, I promise."
Brendon just nods, not trusting himself to talk right now, and squeezes his eyes shut when Spencer shifts on top of him.
"Hey, no," Spencer says, reaching up and stroking through Brendon's hair. It feels good when Spencer brushes the hair off Brendon's sweaty face, away from his eyes, even if it makes it harder for Brendon to hide. "Look at me."
Brendon forces his eyes open, swallowing even though his throat is tight and clenched up, and he tries to will himself not to give in and cry. Even though he keeps fucking things up for himself.
"Brendon," Spencer says softly. "Brendon, we don't have to. I swear, we can stop right now and watch a movie or something and it'll be fine. I might have to go jerk off in the bathroom, but as long as you don't judge me for that, it'll be fine."
"I want to," Brendon says desperately, squeezing his eyes shut again before he remembers and blinks them back open. "I want to do everything, I swear, it's just. I can't explain it. I want to and my body wants to, holy shit does my body want to, but my brain just, like. Is stupid. It's stupid and it hates me and it's the biggest cock block in the world." He feels a little better once he's done, or at least less like he's going to cry, and Spencer leans back in to kiss him, smiling against Brendon's mouth.
"I can work around that," Spencer says pulling back and grinning down at Brendon. "All you have to do is tell me if you want to stop, or if something's too much, okay?"
"Yeah," Brendon says, a little breathless from the way Spencer's already kissing back down his neck. "Yeah, I promise."
"I wish you could see how good you look like this," Spencer says in a low voice, and Brendon shivers a little underneath Spencer, biting hard at his bottom lip when Spencer brushes his lips back over Brendon's nipple. He slides his hand down between them, down over Brendon's stomach, and Brendon's breath hitches. "And that-- those noises you make. You're so hot, Brendon, fuck."
"You don't have to--" Brendon starts, but Spencer's teeth close around Brendon's nipple and dig in, just enough to sting and make Brendon arch up with the feeling. Spencer slides his hand lower, just brushing over the outline of Brendon's cock where it's straining against the material of his pants, and Brendon's so focused on Spencer's hand and the sound of his heart beating loud in his ears that it takes another sharp bite from Spencer before he realizes Spencer's talking to him.
"Is this okay?" Spencer asks, looking up at Brendon with his lips just above Brendon's chest. Brendon wants to reach down and grab Spencer's hair, tug him back up and kiss him hard, but then Spencer's rubbing slowly at Brendon through his pants and underwear, and Brendon bites back what was going to be a very embarrassing moan.
"Hey," Spencer says, squeezing his hand a little, and then Brendon does moan. Really loudly. He's only so strong. "Is this okay?" Spencer asks again, and Brendon almost chokes out a laugh.
"Yes, yes. This is really okay. Please, just-- harder?" Brendon asks, face flushing with a fresh wave of heat. He arches up, though, pressing into Spencer's hand when the friction makes heat twist low in Brendon's stomach, hot and tight and already close to coming, every touch making him ache.
"Fuck, Brendon," Spencer says, his voice rough. He's staring at Brendon in a way that makes Brendon's entire body tense up and strain into Spencer's hand. Brendon can't stop panting, his breath coming out in harsh, quick gasps. "So hot," Spencer says as he leans back down to kiss Brendon. Brendon groans into Spencer's mouth and kisses him back desperately, his hips rocking up into Spencer's hand. He's so hard, hard and so sensitive that the cotton of his underwear and pants dragging over him is almost painful, but he can feel the heat of Spencer's hand, feel the way his fingers twitch as he tries to get a better grip. Brendon's whole body is drawn up tight and tense, and he arches against Spencer, making a frustrated noise against Spencer's mouth and squirming a little beneath his hand at the constant, scratchy drag of his clothes.
"All right?" Spencer asks, drawing back from Brendon's mouth.
"Yes. No. I don't know, I'm just, this is. Do it some more," Brendon says, tipping his head back and groaning half in frustration and half in embarrassment. Spencer just laughs a little and leans in to kiss at Brendon's neck, leaving little bites all the way down to the hollow of his throat that make Brendon press up into Spencer's hand. "It's not," Brendon starts, still unsure of how to say it. "It feels good, really really good, but also kind of itchy. Maybe you could--" Brendon stops, swallowing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. "Maybe under my pants? I mean, still over my underwear, but maybe then--"
Spencer cuts him off, leaning up and kissing him hard and deep. "Yeah," he says breathlessly, pressing his cock against Brendon's thigh a little like he can't seem to help it. "Yeah, that is an excellent idea." He doesn't waste any time in sliding his hand up and under the waist of Brendon's pajama pants, and Brendon gasps out and jerks up when Spencer's hand wraps around his cock, over his underwear.
Logically, it's not that different. His pajama pants are old and worn thin and they couldn't have been much of a barrier, but it feels different, feels like so much more. Spencer's hand is big and hot and squeezing at his cock and he's just staring, all dark and intent. Brendon knows he's blushing, but Spencer just keeps squeezing, not really moving his hand. Just squeezing around Brendon's cock and staring at him as Brendon bites down on his lip so he doesn't do something stupid like beg.
"Fuck," Spencer whispers, and then he leans down and kisses Brendon, deep and desperate, and Brendon clings to his shoulders gratefully because he kind of felt like he was about to explode with Spencer staring at him like that. Spencer finally, finally starts to move his hand, keeping his grip tight and jerking his hand up and down Brendon's cock. Brendon can't figure out if he wants to moan or if he wants to cry because the fabric of his underwear is catching and dragging and it's uncomfortable and really hot at the same time. His hips keep tilting up helplessly, trying to push his cock further up into Spencer's hand, and he's so focused on the way it feels that he doesn't realize Spencer is making noise against his mouth, breathy little groans that he processes right around the same time he realizes that Spencer's cock is pressing up against his hipbone, and, like. That's Spencer's cock. That's Spencer's cock and it's on him, even though it's really not, and Brendon's maybe freaking out a little. He wants to touch Spencer, he really does, but he can't seem to get his hand to move.
It doesn't matter, though, because Spencer shifts his hand and the head of Brendon's cock starts to bump up against his thumb on every stroke, and Brendon makes a high, desperate noise into Spencer's mouth and forgets everything else, because wow. His underwear is wet from pre-come and Spencer's thumb keeps dragging the fabric over the head of his cock, harsh and sticky over the sensitive skin. It's almost too much, keeping Brendon so wound up and straining up underneath Spencer, his stomach twisting with heat like he's almost there but not close enough yet to come. Spencer kisses him hard and Brendon whimpers when he opens his mouth against Spencer's, and it's pathetic and Brendon's flushing hotly, but seriously, he can't help it.
Spencer breaks away, kissing down Brendon's neck, down to his chest, and each kiss over Brendon's heated skin feels like so much, like more than it is. Brendon's maybe still making pathetic little noises when Spencer finally lifts his head up. "Are you okay?" Spencer asks in a low voice, his eyes big and dark and staring up at Brendon. Brendon nods, arching back a little and gasping when Spencer's chin brushes over Brendon's nipple, where it's drawn up tight and hard.
"Yeah?" Spencer asks after a moment, pressing a quick, soft kiss to Brendon's nipple, and Brendon has to grab at the sheets because Spencer isn't stroking him anymore, he's just sort of cupping Brendon through his underwear instead, but Brendon still feels like he might actually die.
"Please. Spencer, Spence, please," Brendon whines, almost near tears again because it feels like he's been on edge forever now, so close to coming but not quite there.
"Yeah," Spencer says, his eyes wide and his voice a little shaky. "Yeah, hey, shh," he says, leaning up and kissing Brendon quick and light as his hand starts back up over Brendon's cock. Spencer ducks his head back down, kissing gently at Brendon's nipple through his shirt. Brendon can barely even feel it, more of an itch than anything, but it's enough to make him groan, arching up and pushing his chest against Spencer's mouth, pushing his cock more firmly into Spencer's hand. Spencer starts to suck, his mouth wet and warm through the fabric, and Brendon squirms a little, letting go of the sheets with one hand to grab at Spencer's shoulder, to keep him right where he is. Brendon can feel the muscles in Spencer's arm flexing under his hand as he jerks Brendon off, and Brendon digs his fingers in a little, just to get a better grip.
Spencer moves to his other nipple, trailing his mouth across Brendon's chest and making his shirt pull tight and taut over his nipples. Brendon's expecting another kiss, but Spencer bites down instead, sharp and sudden, and Brendon lets out a noise that's mostly a yelp as he jerks up into Spencer's hand.
"Okay?" Spencer asks quietly, looking up at Brendon. Brendon opens his mouth and nothing comes out but a kind of embarrassing squeak when Spencer's knuckle presses under the head of his cock, so he just nods instead, letting out a ragged breath when Spencer squeezes around his cock and drops his mouth back down to Brendon's nipple. Spencer scrapes with his teeth, the fabric dragging harsh and stinging across his skin.
It feels-- it feels like so much, his whole body drawn up tight and waiting, Spencer's hand and mouth dragging the wet fabric of his underwear and his shirt over his sensitive skin. He's so close, so tense with it that he's shaking a little. "Spencer," Brendon gasps out, digging his fingers into Spencer's shoulder again. "Spence, please, I--"
"Come on," Spencer says into his chest, his voice rough and rumbling over Brendon's skin, and all it takes is Spencer biting down again, his hand still jerking Brendon roughly through his underwear, for Brendon to come. He jerks up underneath Spencer's body, coming so hard that he feels a little dizzy, his eyes going unfocused and his brain going fuzzy. Brendon's shaking, his hand still clutching weakly at Spencer's shoulder, and Spencer kisses up his neck, to his jaw, his mouth meeting Brendon's and kissing him wet and deep. Spencer's still moving his hand, not jerking Brendon off, just cupping Brendon's cock through his wet underwear and squeezing, and it makes Brendon's skin feel like it's on fire, the wet fabric scraping against his over-sensitive cock.
"Ah," Brendon says into Spencer's mouth, trying to pull his hips back from Spencer's hand but only managing to press closer. "Hey, Spence," he says, squirming, when Spencer finally pulls away from his mouth.
"Oh shit, sorry. Sorry," Spencer says as he pulls his hand out of Brendon's pants.
"It's okay," Brendon says. His voice sounds weird, like it's coming from kind of far away, and Brendon tugs on Spencer's shoulder, trying to pull him closer. He's still shaking, a little, and Spencer brushes his hair back from his forehead, looking down at Brendon with dark, wide eyes.
"Fuck," he says quietly. "Brendon, that was. You're so hot." He shifts down with Brendon when he kisses him again, his hips pressing restlessly into Brendon's thigh, and Brendon can feel how hard he is. And it's not that Brendon's freaking out, except for how he's kind of freaking out because he just kind of had sex. Not just any sex, either, but sex with Spencer. And while Brendon wants to touch Spencer's cock - he really, really does - he can't quite make himself do it. He's just about to say something, probably something stupid, when Spencer breathes out raggedly against Brendon's mouth and pulls back.
"Can I?" Spencer asks, sitting up and shifting his weight until he's sitting over Brendon's thighs, reaching down with one hand to squeeze at his cock through his pajama pants. "I can go to the bathroom if you want me to," he says hoarsely, "but I don't really want to."
"Yeah, no," Brendon says, swallowing hard and trying his best not to think about how he's going to see Spencer's cock. Spencer gives him kind of a confused look, and Brendon wants to laugh but he's pretty sure that might ruin the mood. "You can, yeah, please," Brendon says, reaching out hesitantly and petting at the outside of Spencer's thigh. It feels weird to be nervous about touching Spencer after Spencer just jerked him off, but still. Spencer just smiles, though, his eyes slipping shut and his breathing getting even more ragged as he slides his hand into his pants. Brendon lets out a breath, shaky and maybe just a tiny bit relieved as he watches Spencer start to jerk off, his hand moving quick and hard under his pants.
Spencer's kind of ridiculously hot like this, and Brendon can't stop staring at the way Spencer's cheeks flush, the way he keeps biting at his bottom lip. His eyes are squeezed shut, and Brendon rubs at Spencer's thigh with his hand, trailing it up to squeeze gently at Spencer's hip. Spencer's eyes snap open and Brendon freezes, but Spencer shakes his head, says, "No. Please. You can." Brendon just nods, squeezing again and holding Spencer's gaze because he can't bring himself to look away. Spencer looks stupidly hot, flushed all the way down to his chest. His forehead is just a little sweaty and his mouth is open, panting softly as he jerks off.
Spencer finally closes his eyes, tilting his head back with a groan, and Brendon lets himself glance down, his eyes following the press of Spencer's knuckles through his pajama pants up and down in time with his strokes. His pants are kind of bunched down, just enough that Brendon can see the way his skin gets paler, the very last of his summer tan fading. Brendon can't stop thinking about reaching out, trailing his fingers along the smooth line of skin. He just squeezes at Spencer's hip instead, biting down on his bottom lip when he looks back up and sees Spencer staring again, his eyes hot and focused on Brendon's lips. Spencer's hips twitch, jerking forward, thrusting up into his hand in a jerky, uneven rhythm. Brendon breathes out and spreads his fingers, just a little, just enough that he can feel the movement of Spencer's arm with the very tips of his fingers, and Spencer gasps shakily.
"Please," he says, looking down at Brendon with unfocused eyes. "You can touch, Brendon, you can do anything you want." Brendon cock twitches in his ruined and sticky briefs, and he winces a little at the feeling, but he's too focused on Spencer to really care. Spencer is so hot and so close and he's right there, and Brendon lets his hand move up and grab at Spencer's forearm. Brendon can feel the muscles in Spencer's arm moving under his palm, and he squeezes, just a little, keeping his grip light so Spencer can still move his arm, still jerk himself off. Spencer's hips jerk forward. "So close, Brendon, shit," Spencer says, reaching out with his free hand and grabbing onto Brendon's, linking their fingers and holding on tight.
Brendon doesn't know what to say, doesn't know if he's actually supposed to say anything or not, but he nods just in case and lets his fingers trail up from Spencer's arm, skimming lightly over the soft skin and twitching muscles in Spencer's stomach. Spencer groans, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut, and Brendon trails his hand higher, up over Spencer's collarbone and down again, pressing his shaking fingers against Spencer's nipple because he can't talk himself out of it. Spencer's hips jerk forward roughly and his fingers go tight where they're clasped with Brendon's, and then he's letting out a deep, raw noise, curling on himself a little as he comes. Spencer slumps forward, pulling his hand out of his pants when he's finished twitching and wiping it hurriedly on Brendon's sheets before grabbing for Brendon's other hand and holding on tight as he leans down and kisses Brendon. It's a messy kiss; Spencer's just kind of sucking at Brendon's lips and trailing his tongue across them, but Brendon doesn't mind. He wrestles a hand free from Spencer's grip and pushes down on Spencer's shoulder, pressing him closer.
"Shit," Spencer says shakily as he pulls away from Brendon's mouth and tucks his face into Brendon's neck. Brendon pets at Spencer's hair before he thinks about it, cringing a little when he realizes that his hand is a little sticky from Spencer's, but Spencer also wiped his hand off on Brendon's sheets, so he figures it's fair. It seems to make Spencer happy, at least, and he settles more firmly on top of Brendon with a content grumbly noise, kissing softly at Brendon's neck.
"You okay?" Spencer asks after a few minutes, lifting his head up just enough to meet Brendon's eyes. "Was that okay? Are you still cool with me staying over?" Spencer chews on his lip a little, a nervous habit, and Brendon thought that he would be more freaked out, that things would be awkward and uncomfortable. But mostly he just wants to stay here, underneath Spencer, even if his briefs are full of come and kind of gross, and even if he's pretty sure he can feel Spencer's pants damp against his hip. "Brendon?" Spencer asks again, his voice nervous, and Brendon shakes his head a little before wincing when Spencer's face falls immediately.
"No, no," Brendon says quickly, petting at Spencer's shoulder. "No, I mean, that was so much more than okay. That was awesome and you're awesome, and everything is awesome right now and you should stay right here, okay?" Brendon almost winces again, because he doesn't understand why he can never keep his stupid mouth shut, but Spencer just grins bright and wide, his eyes soft and a little sleepy as he looks down at Brendon.
"Yeah?" he asks, letting go of Brendon's other hand so he can stroke at Brendon's hair.
"Yeah," Brendon says, and he even manages not to blush this time when Spencer grins and kisses him. Spencer shifts off of Brendon, settling down on his back, pulling Brendon close, and wrapping his arm around Brendon's shoulders.
"We should change," Spencer says around a yawn. "This is going to be gross and probably painful in the morning. But I don't know if I can move. It's possible my legs don't work anymore."
"I don't think my anything works," Brendon says, wiggling around a little until he's settled more comfortably against Spencer's chest. "Besides, I was there when you and Brent had that hot dog eating contest, and nothing will ever, ever be as gross as that. I had nightmares."
"That sounds like a challenge," Spencer says around a yawn, squeezing Brendon closer and tangling their feet together. Brendon rolls his eyes, and then rolls them again at himself when he realizes Spencer can't see him. Spencer had a point about the grossness, but Spencer is also warm and soft and comfortable, and Brendon can hear his heart beating, slow and steady under Brendon's ear.
"We're not gonna go clean up, are we?" Spencer asks after a minute or two of trailing his fingertips idly up and down Brendon's arm.
"Not even a little bit," Brendon answers, cuddling a little closer and smiling to himself when Spencer laughs.
Authors: fallintosilence and boweryd
Rating: R
Pairing: Brendon/Spencer
Word Count: 5,000+
Summary: Spencer is really hot. Spencer is really hot and really shirtless and really straddling Brendon's waist on his shitty mattress on the floor, and Brendon really wishes he was dead instead of a total headcase who was cockblocking himself. Because wow, is Spencer hot.
Warnings: Overstimulation, biting, shame issues. Both characters are under the age of 18 but of the legal age of consent.
Author Notes: Written for the kink bingo prompt "sensation play." Thanks to untappedbeauty for the awesome and speedy beta. Title is from the song "New Heights" by A Fine Frenzy.
Spencer is really hot. Spencer is really hot and really shirtless and really straddling Brendon's waist on his shitty mattress on the floor, and Brendon really wishes he was dead instead of a total headcase who was cockblocking himself. Because wow, is Spencer hot. Also, Spencer keeps saying stuff, stuff that's making Brendon blush and squirm and generally feel like an even bigger idiot, because, seriously.
"You look really good in that shirt," Spencer says as he kisses at Brendon's jaw.
"It's just-- just an undershirt," Brendon says, tightening his grip on Spencer's arms and trying not to arch up when Spencer sucks at the skin beneath his ear. "We have to wear them under our polos at work."
"Uh-huh," Spencer mumbles, kissing his way down Brendon's neck in a way that's making it really hard to stay still. "You still look hot."
"That's good," Brendon says, wincing as soon as the words are out of his mouth. It doesn't help that Spencer laughs into his neck, but then Spencer sucks at this place right over his collarbone that makes Brendon gasp and squirm, and his face feels so hot he's going to die from blushing. It's totally possible. He's pretty sure.
"Shit," Spencer says, his voice low and rough in a way that makes Brendon's stomach twist up tight. "Brendon, seriously," and then his hands are pushing beneath Brendon's shirt, skimming it up, and everything in Brendon's body is thinking yes, yes, yes but for some reason his brain is panicking and his mouth is saying, "No, hey, just," and Spencer groans softly and drops his head to Brendon's shoulder as he pulls his hands back out from under Brendon's shirt.
"I'm sorry," Brendon says, feeling stupidly like he wants to cry. "It's just."
"No, hey, Brendon, I'm sorry," Spencer says, pulling back and leaning down to kiss Brendon gently. "It's okay. It's my fault, I got kind of-- you're really hot, fuck," Spencer says, laughing a little and shaking his head. "I didn't mean to."
"It's not," Brendon says, swallowing heavily. "It's not that-- I want to," he says, feeling his face heat back up. "I really, really want to, I just. I wasn't supposed to, or whatever, and so I've never, and it's just kind of. Scary. I don't know. That sounds stupid. It's just being naked, and, like, letting you. I don't know. I'm a freak. I'm a freak of nature, and I am a defective teenager, and I'm going to die a virgin while you're off having tons of hot sex with hot people who like to be naked. Oh my god why can't I stop talking?"
"Brendon," Spencer says, stroking hair away from Brendon's forehead, "you're kind of an idiot."
"I know," Brendon groans. "I know, and I try not to be. It's just, like, a bigger deal than I thought it would be and I totally understand if you want to break up and, like--"
Spencer leans in and kisses Brendon mid-sentence, biting down a little on Brendon's lower lip in that way that makes Brendon gasp and squirm again. Before he knows it he's right back where he started, hard and holding on to Spencer's arms desperately as Spencer kisses him deep and slow.
"This okay?" Spencer asks, pulling away.
"Yeah, yes, I promise," Brendon gasps out. He's so hard he can't even be embarrassed that he's babbling.
"What about this?" Spencer asks, kissing down Brendon's neck again, sucking and biting just enough that Brendon's going to have marks again, more hickeys that he'll press his fingers to and blush while he's making someone's pineapple gauva smoothie.
"Yeah," Brendon says, trying to keep himself from squirming again. "Yes, I really, really like that."
"I can tell," Spencer says against his skin. "The noises you make are pretty fucking hot." Brendon thinks he probably blushes at that, but it's hard to tell since he's already flushed from Spencer on top of him, kissing him. Brendon mostly just feels stupid and squirmy and kind of itchy, his whole body really sensitive and aware of everywhere Spencer's touching him.
"What about this?" Spencer asks, trailing his lips down the v-neck of Brendon's shirt and then kissing over the fabric. It kind of tickles, at first, the fabric scratching over his skin, but then Spencer puts his lips around Brendon's nipple and sucks, his mouth wetting the fabric and making it cling and scrape, and Brendon's pretty sure he's going to come in his pants, holy crap.
"Spencer, Spence, that's--" Brendon gasps out, grabbing at Spencer's shoulders. Spencer stops and lifts his mouth, but Brendon shakes his head quickly, trying to ignore the way his face is still hot and red because he wants Spencer's mouth back, oh god. "No, please, I want-- don't stop, Spence, it's good."
"Yeah?" Spencer asks, raising his eyebrows and grinning too wide. Brendon just tilts his head back and moans weakly as Spencer fits his lips back over Brendon's nipple, his mouth warm and wet through the material of Brendon's shirt. Spencer sucks and Brendon can feel his body arch up without his permission, squirming underneath Spencer and gasping when Spencer's teeth accidentally drag over his nipple.
"Shit, sorry," Spencer says quickly, pulling back and pressing his thumb gently over Brendon's nipple, through the wet fabric. Brendon just shakes his head.
"No, no, it's, I kind of-- do it again," Brendon finishes quickly. He hopes to god Spencer won't make him ask, because as hot as this is and as much as Brendon's cock is throbbing right now, he doesn't think he can bring himself to say the word "nipple" out loud. He's embarrassed enough already when Spencer's eyes go dark and he leans back down, moving to Brendon's other nipple and sucking around it just hard enough to have Brendon arching up again. He's unable to stay still with the heat that shoots through his stomach at Spencer's mouth on him, at the way it feels.
"You're amazing," Brendon breathes out without thinking. "It feels like-- oh my god." Brendon cuts himself off with a groan as Spencer scrapes his teeth across Brendon's nipple again, biting down softly and keeping his weight over Brendon when Brendon moans and squirms. He wants to feel embarrassed, he should feel embarrassed, but it's not his fault that this feels fucking incredible. Besides, Brendon can feel how hard Spencer is through his pajama pants, pressing in against Brendon's thigh, and it's a little scary and new but also strangely comforting to know he's not the only one who's really, really turned on by this.
Spencer shifts his hips down a little and groans around Brendon's nipple, and Brendon swears he can feel the vibration of it, the way it rumbles out and over Brendon's skin through the wet fabric of his shirt. Brendon feels overwhelmed and turned on and kind of like he's about to just burst out of his body if Spencer keeps biting at his nipple and then licking over it. It doesn't really hurt, it just stings a little in a surprisingly hot way that makes Brendon whine and squirm and arch up helplessly underneath Spencer. Brendon's glad Spencer's on top, warm and solid and holding him down so he doesn't just float right out of his body at the way this feels, because wow.
"Spencer," he gasps without meaning to. "Spencer, I don't. Just like, I can't, I don't know--" he cuts himself off, biting down into his lip, because seriously, what is wrong with him.
"You okay?" Spencer asks, pulling back, and Brendon whines through his closed lips at the sight of Spencer's face, his eyes dark and hot and his mouth red and wet with spit. Brendon can feel how wet his shirt is, the fabric cool and clingy in the air now that Spencer's mouth isn't keeping it warm. "Do you want to stop?"
"No," Brendon says, desperately and way too loud. "No, please don't stop, I just don't know how, like, I can't--" Brendon can't finish, he doesn't even really know what he's trying to say, but he thinks maybe Spencer gets it when he leans in and kisses Brendon hot and deep, his hand coming up to stroke at the wet fabric over Brendon's nipple, making it catch and drag on his skin. Brendon hisses against Spencer's mouth and arches up, groaning when his cock presses against Spencer's through their pajama pants. It feels good, feels amazing, and Brendon wants to arch up and just rub, wants Spencer to settle back on top of him and hold him down and rub against him, but he can't help the sick dread in his stomach at the thought of taking off their clothes, at Spencer seeing him naked. He's frustrated and pissed off at himself, and his eyes are starting to sting the way they do right before he starts to cry.
"Hey," Spencer says, pulling back and staring down at Brendon. "I'm gonna touch you, okay? Over your clothes, and you can tell me if you don't want me to or if you don't like it. And I'll stop, I promise."
Brendon just nods, not trusting himself to talk right now, and squeezes his eyes shut when Spencer shifts on top of him.
"Hey, no," Spencer says, reaching up and stroking through Brendon's hair. It feels good when Spencer brushes the hair off Brendon's sweaty face, away from his eyes, even if it makes it harder for Brendon to hide. "Look at me."
Brendon forces his eyes open, swallowing even though his throat is tight and clenched up, and he tries to will himself not to give in and cry. Even though he keeps fucking things up for himself.
"Brendon," Spencer says softly. "Brendon, we don't have to. I swear, we can stop right now and watch a movie or something and it'll be fine. I might have to go jerk off in the bathroom, but as long as you don't judge me for that, it'll be fine."
"I want to," Brendon says desperately, squeezing his eyes shut again before he remembers and blinks them back open. "I want to do everything, I swear, it's just. I can't explain it. I want to and my body wants to, holy shit does my body want to, but my brain just, like. Is stupid. It's stupid and it hates me and it's the biggest cock block in the world." He feels a little better once he's done, or at least less like he's going to cry, and Spencer leans back in to kiss him, smiling against Brendon's mouth.
"I can work around that," Spencer says pulling back and grinning down at Brendon. "All you have to do is tell me if you want to stop, or if something's too much, okay?"
"Yeah," Brendon says, a little breathless from the way Spencer's already kissing back down his neck. "Yeah, I promise."
"I wish you could see how good you look like this," Spencer says in a low voice, and Brendon shivers a little underneath Spencer, biting hard at his bottom lip when Spencer brushes his lips back over Brendon's nipple. He slides his hand down between them, down over Brendon's stomach, and Brendon's breath hitches. "And that-- those noises you make. You're so hot, Brendon, fuck."
"You don't have to--" Brendon starts, but Spencer's teeth close around Brendon's nipple and dig in, just enough to sting and make Brendon arch up with the feeling. Spencer slides his hand lower, just brushing over the outline of Brendon's cock where it's straining against the material of his pants, and Brendon's so focused on Spencer's hand and the sound of his heart beating loud in his ears that it takes another sharp bite from Spencer before he realizes Spencer's talking to him.
"Is this okay?" Spencer asks, looking up at Brendon with his lips just above Brendon's chest. Brendon wants to reach down and grab Spencer's hair, tug him back up and kiss him hard, but then Spencer's rubbing slowly at Brendon through his pants and underwear, and Brendon bites back what was going to be a very embarrassing moan.
"Hey," Spencer says, squeezing his hand a little, and then Brendon does moan. Really loudly. He's only so strong. "Is this okay?" Spencer asks again, and Brendon almost chokes out a laugh.
"Yes, yes. This is really okay. Please, just-- harder?" Brendon asks, face flushing with a fresh wave of heat. He arches up, though, pressing into Spencer's hand when the friction makes heat twist low in Brendon's stomach, hot and tight and already close to coming, every touch making him ache.
"Fuck, Brendon," Spencer says, his voice rough. He's staring at Brendon in a way that makes Brendon's entire body tense up and strain into Spencer's hand. Brendon can't stop panting, his breath coming out in harsh, quick gasps. "So hot," Spencer says as he leans back down to kiss Brendon. Brendon groans into Spencer's mouth and kisses him back desperately, his hips rocking up into Spencer's hand. He's so hard, hard and so sensitive that the cotton of his underwear and pants dragging over him is almost painful, but he can feel the heat of Spencer's hand, feel the way his fingers twitch as he tries to get a better grip. Brendon's whole body is drawn up tight and tense, and he arches against Spencer, making a frustrated noise against Spencer's mouth and squirming a little beneath his hand at the constant, scratchy drag of his clothes.
"All right?" Spencer asks, drawing back from Brendon's mouth.
"Yes. No. I don't know, I'm just, this is. Do it some more," Brendon says, tipping his head back and groaning half in frustration and half in embarrassment. Spencer just laughs a little and leans in to kiss at Brendon's neck, leaving little bites all the way down to the hollow of his throat that make Brendon press up into Spencer's hand. "It's not," Brendon starts, still unsure of how to say it. "It feels good, really really good, but also kind of itchy. Maybe you could--" Brendon stops, swallowing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. "Maybe under my pants? I mean, still over my underwear, but maybe then--"
Spencer cuts him off, leaning up and kissing him hard and deep. "Yeah," he says breathlessly, pressing his cock against Brendon's thigh a little like he can't seem to help it. "Yeah, that is an excellent idea." He doesn't waste any time in sliding his hand up and under the waist of Brendon's pajama pants, and Brendon gasps out and jerks up when Spencer's hand wraps around his cock, over his underwear.
Logically, it's not that different. His pajama pants are old and worn thin and they couldn't have been much of a barrier, but it feels different, feels like so much more. Spencer's hand is big and hot and squeezing at his cock and he's just staring, all dark and intent. Brendon knows he's blushing, but Spencer just keeps squeezing, not really moving his hand. Just squeezing around Brendon's cock and staring at him as Brendon bites down on his lip so he doesn't do something stupid like beg.
"Fuck," Spencer whispers, and then he leans down and kisses Brendon, deep and desperate, and Brendon clings to his shoulders gratefully because he kind of felt like he was about to explode with Spencer staring at him like that. Spencer finally, finally starts to move his hand, keeping his grip tight and jerking his hand up and down Brendon's cock. Brendon can't figure out if he wants to moan or if he wants to cry because the fabric of his underwear is catching and dragging and it's uncomfortable and really hot at the same time. His hips keep tilting up helplessly, trying to push his cock further up into Spencer's hand, and he's so focused on the way it feels that he doesn't realize Spencer is making noise against his mouth, breathy little groans that he processes right around the same time he realizes that Spencer's cock is pressing up against his hipbone, and, like. That's Spencer's cock. That's Spencer's cock and it's on him, even though it's really not, and Brendon's maybe freaking out a little. He wants to touch Spencer, he really does, but he can't seem to get his hand to move.
It doesn't matter, though, because Spencer shifts his hand and the head of Brendon's cock starts to bump up against his thumb on every stroke, and Brendon makes a high, desperate noise into Spencer's mouth and forgets everything else, because wow. His underwear is wet from pre-come and Spencer's thumb keeps dragging the fabric over the head of his cock, harsh and sticky over the sensitive skin. It's almost too much, keeping Brendon so wound up and straining up underneath Spencer, his stomach twisting with heat like he's almost there but not close enough yet to come. Spencer kisses him hard and Brendon whimpers when he opens his mouth against Spencer's, and it's pathetic and Brendon's flushing hotly, but seriously, he can't help it.
Spencer breaks away, kissing down Brendon's neck, down to his chest, and each kiss over Brendon's heated skin feels like so much, like more than it is. Brendon's maybe still making pathetic little noises when Spencer finally lifts his head up. "Are you okay?" Spencer asks in a low voice, his eyes big and dark and staring up at Brendon. Brendon nods, arching back a little and gasping when Spencer's chin brushes over Brendon's nipple, where it's drawn up tight and hard.
"Yeah?" Spencer asks after a moment, pressing a quick, soft kiss to Brendon's nipple, and Brendon has to grab at the sheets because Spencer isn't stroking him anymore, he's just sort of cupping Brendon through his underwear instead, but Brendon still feels like he might actually die.
"Please. Spencer, Spence, please," Brendon whines, almost near tears again because it feels like he's been on edge forever now, so close to coming but not quite there.
"Yeah," Spencer says, his eyes wide and his voice a little shaky. "Yeah, hey, shh," he says, leaning up and kissing Brendon quick and light as his hand starts back up over Brendon's cock. Spencer ducks his head back down, kissing gently at Brendon's nipple through his shirt. Brendon can barely even feel it, more of an itch than anything, but it's enough to make him groan, arching up and pushing his chest against Spencer's mouth, pushing his cock more firmly into Spencer's hand. Spencer starts to suck, his mouth wet and warm through the fabric, and Brendon squirms a little, letting go of the sheets with one hand to grab at Spencer's shoulder, to keep him right where he is. Brendon can feel the muscles in Spencer's arm flexing under his hand as he jerks Brendon off, and Brendon digs his fingers in a little, just to get a better grip.
Spencer moves to his other nipple, trailing his mouth across Brendon's chest and making his shirt pull tight and taut over his nipples. Brendon's expecting another kiss, but Spencer bites down instead, sharp and sudden, and Brendon lets out a noise that's mostly a yelp as he jerks up into Spencer's hand.
"Okay?" Spencer asks quietly, looking up at Brendon. Brendon opens his mouth and nothing comes out but a kind of embarrassing squeak when Spencer's knuckle presses under the head of his cock, so he just nods instead, letting out a ragged breath when Spencer squeezes around his cock and drops his mouth back down to Brendon's nipple. Spencer scrapes with his teeth, the fabric dragging harsh and stinging across his skin.
It feels-- it feels like so much, his whole body drawn up tight and waiting, Spencer's hand and mouth dragging the wet fabric of his underwear and his shirt over his sensitive skin. He's so close, so tense with it that he's shaking a little. "Spencer," Brendon gasps out, digging his fingers into Spencer's shoulder again. "Spence, please, I--"
"Come on," Spencer says into his chest, his voice rough and rumbling over Brendon's skin, and all it takes is Spencer biting down again, his hand still jerking Brendon roughly through his underwear, for Brendon to come. He jerks up underneath Spencer's body, coming so hard that he feels a little dizzy, his eyes going unfocused and his brain going fuzzy. Brendon's shaking, his hand still clutching weakly at Spencer's shoulder, and Spencer kisses up his neck, to his jaw, his mouth meeting Brendon's and kissing him wet and deep. Spencer's still moving his hand, not jerking Brendon off, just cupping Brendon's cock through his wet underwear and squeezing, and it makes Brendon's skin feel like it's on fire, the wet fabric scraping against his over-sensitive cock.
"Ah," Brendon says into Spencer's mouth, trying to pull his hips back from Spencer's hand but only managing to press closer. "Hey, Spence," he says, squirming, when Spencer finally pulls away from his mouth.
"Oh shit, sorry. Sorry," Spencer says as he pulls his hand out of Brendon's pants.
"It's okay," Brendon says. His voice sounds weird, like it's coming from kind of far away, and Brendon tugs on Spencer's shoulder, trying to pull him closer. He's still shaking, a little, and Spencer brushes his hair back from his forehead, looking down at Brendon with dark, wide eyes.
"Fuck," he says quietly. "Brendon, that was. You're so hot." He shifts down with Brendon when he kisses him again, his hips pressing restlessly into Brendon's thigh, and Brendon can feel how hard he is. And it's not that Brendon's freaking out, except for how he's kind of freaking out because he just kind of had sex. Not just any sex, either, but sex with Spencer. And while Brendon wants to touch Spencer's cock - he really, really does - he can't quite make himself do it. He's just about to say something, probably something stupid, when Spencer breathes out raggedly against Brendon's mouth and pulls back.
"Can I?" Spencer asks, sitting up and shifting his weight until he's sitting over Brendon's thighs, reaching down with one hand to squeeze at his cock through his pajama pants. "I can go to the bathroom if you want me to," he says hoarsely, "but I don't really want to."
"Yeah, no," Brendon says, swallowing hard and trying his best not to think about how he's going to see Spencer's cock. Spencer gives him kind of a confused look, and Brendon wants to laugh but he's pretty sure that might ruin the mood. "You can, yeah, please," Brendon says, reaching out hesitantly and petting at the outside of Spencer's thigh. It feels weird to be nervous about touching Spencer after Spencer just jerked him off, but still. Spencer just smiles, though, his eyes slipping shut and his breathing getting even more ragged as he slides his hand into his pants. Brendon lets out a breath, shaky and maybe just a tiny bit relieved as he watches Spencer start to jerk off, his hand moving quick and hard under his pants.
Spencer's kind of ridiculously hot like this, and Brendon can't stop staring at the way Spencer's cheeks flush, the way he keeps biting at his bottom lip. His eyes are squeezed shut, and Brendon rubs at Spencer's thigh with his hand, trailing it up to squeeze gently at Spencer's hip. Spencer's eyes snap open and Brendon freezes, but Spencer shakes his head, says, "No. Please. You can." Brendon just nods, squeezing again and holding Spencer's gaze because he can't bring himself to look away. Spencer looks stupidly hot, flushed all the way down to his chest. His forehead is just a little sweaty and his mouth is open, panting softly as he jerks off.
Spencer finally closes his eyes, tilting his head back with a groan, and Brendon lets himself glance down, his eyes following the press of Spencer's knuckles through his pajama pants up and down in time with his strokes. His pants are kind of bunched down, just enough that Brendon can see the way his skin gets paler, the very last of his summer tan fading. Brendon can't stop thinking about reaching out, trailing his fingers along the smooth line of skin. He just squeezes at Spencer's hip instead, biting down on his bottom lip when he looks back up and sees Spencer staring again, his eyes hot and focused on Brendon's lips. Spencer's hips twitch, jerking forward, thrusting up into his hand in a jerky, uneven rhythm. Brendon breathes out and spreads his fingers, just a little, just enough that he can feel the movement of Spencer's arm with the very tips of his fingers, and Spencer gasps shakily.
"Please," he says, looking down at Brendon with unfocused eyes. "You can touch, Brendon, you can do anything you want." Brendon cock twitches in his ruined and sticky briefs, and he winces a little at the feeling, but he's too focused on Spencer to really care. Spencer is so hot and so close and he's right there, and Brendon lets his hand move up and grab at Spencer's forearm. Brendon can feel the muscles in Spencer's arm moving under his palm, and he squeezes, just a little, keeping his grip light so Spencer can still move his arm, still jerk himself off. Spencer's hips jerk forward. "So close, Brendon, shit," Spencer says, reaching out with his free hand and grabbing onto Brendon's, linking their fingers and holding on tight.
Brendon doesn't know what to say, doesn't know if he's actually supposed to say anything or not, but he nods just in case and lets his fingers trail up from Spencer's arm, skimming lightly over the soft skin and twitching muscles in Spencer's stomach. Spencer groans, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut, and Brendon trails his hand higher, up over Spencer's collarbone and down again, pressing his shaking fingers against Spencer's nipple because he can't talk himself out of it. Spencer's hips jerk forward roughly and his fingers go tight where they're clasped with Brendon's, and then he's letting out a deep, raw noise, curling on himself a little as he comes. Spencer slumps forward, pulling his hand out of his pants when he's finished twitching and wiping it hurriedly on Brendon's sheets before grabbing for Brendon's other hand and holding on tight as he leans down and kisses Brendon. It's a messy kiss; Spencer's just kind of sucking at Brendon's lips and trailing his tongue across them, but Brendon doesn't mind. He wrestles a hand free from Spencer's grip and pushes down on Spencer's shoulder, pressing him closer.
"Shit," Spencer says shakily as he pulls away from Brendon's mouth and tucks his face into Brendon's neck. Brendon pets at Spencer's hair before he thinks about it, cringing a little when he realizes that his hand is a little sticky from Spencer's, but Spencer also wiped his hand off on Brendon's sheets, so he figures it's fair. It seems to make Spencer happy, at least, and he settles more firmly on top of Brendon with a content grumbly noise, kissing softly at Brendon's neck.
"You okay?" Spencer asks after a few minutes, lifting his head up just enough to meet Brendon's eyes. "Was that okay? Are you still cool with me staying over?" Spencer chews on his lip a little, a nervous habit, and Brendon thought that he would be more freaked out, that things would be awkward and uncomfortable. But mostly he just wants to stay here, underneath Spencer, even if his briefs are full of come and kind of gross, and even if he's pretty sure he can feel Spencer's pants damp against his hip. "Brendon?" Spencer asks again, his voice nervous, and Brendon shakes his head a little before wincing when Spencer's face falls immediately.
"No, no," Brendon says quickly, petting at Spencer's shoulder. "No, I mean, that was so much more than okay. That was awesome and you're awesome, and everything is awesome right now and you should stay right here, okay?" Brendon almost winces again, because he doesn't understand why he can never keep his stupid mouth shut, but Spencer just grins bright and wide, his eyes soft and a little sleepy as he looks down at Brendon.
"Yeah?" he asks, letting go of Brendon's other hand so he can stroke at Brendon's hair.
"Yeah," Brendon says, and he even manages not to blush this time when Spencer grins and kisses him. Spencer shifts off of Brendon, settling down on his back, pulling Brendon close, and wrapping his arm around Brendon's shoulders.
"We should change," Spencer says around a yawn. "This is going to be gross and probably painful in the morning. But I don't know if I can move. It's possible my legs don't work anymore."
"I don't think my anything works," Brendon says, wiggling around a little until he's settled more comfortably against Spencer's chest. "Besides, I was there when you and Brent had that hot dog eating contest, and nothing will ever, ever be as gross as that. I had nightmares."
"That sounds like a challenge," Spencer says around a yawn, squeezing Brendon closer and tangling their feet together. Brendon rolls his eyes, and then rolls them again at himself when he realizes Spencer can't see him. Spencer had a point about the grossness, but Spencer is also warm and soft and comfortable, and Brendon can hear his heart beating, slow and steady under Brendon's ear.
"We're not gonna go clean up, are we?" Spencer asks after a minute or two of trailing his fingertips idly up and down Brendon's arm.
"Not even a little bit," Brendon answers, cuddling a little closer and smiling to himself when Spencer laughs.