just to catch up..
soo... there is a boy. a cute boy... who happened to build a house right across the street from my house... and this boy... this boy is veryyy cute... ad he came into work the other day and told me we should hang out and got my number. i like how i look out my bedroom window and see him. hehe. i feel sneeky sometimes.
work is going pretty well. i really like working the days opposed to the nights. those night shifts are really lame. you never get the hours you are promised and then you always end up working with someone either rude or obnoxious. (chances are if you read my LJ aka Joli or Rachel, of course this is not directed at you, but im sure you know what im talking about. because i kinda love you two!) but yeah, days' are just fun and im now getting weekends off for a few weeks.
Chistmas is in.... ten days... but christmas eve, which can sometimes be more fun than christmas is in 9! holy cow! I am really excited to know what i got. sure that sounds materialistic... but this is honestly the first year, in who knows when, since i haven't personally opened all of my gifts and taped them back up. man, i sucked at life as a child.
So I was very mad yesterday... someone i work with decided to make a racial comment about a certain race... that I happen to have in my entire family... and i got very upset. so i figured i would give him the benefit of the doubt, and tell him he offended me so he had a chance to apologize. im not a mean person... i would have accepted it gratefully and then moved on.. but no. after i tell him that this comment really offended me... he followed it with..."well the sad thing, is that, that comment was so true." I then flew off the handles because he kept pushing this, so i went on a huge rant (with a knife in my hand, mind you) about how my family is twice the man he will ever be, has a better job than he could ever imagine having and how he's trash. oh lord. i really hate ignorant people. ALL I WANTED WAS A SIMPLE..."IM SORRY".
So shannon and I went out to silverdale to brandon's new apartment, and honestly that is probably the cutest/most beautiful place i have ever seen. i really <3 hanging out with him and trevor... its just a comfortable feeling, and they can make shannon and i laugh for hours... *i know i know, that may seem easy, buts its not.*
CALEB WILSON!!!!!!!! it was very weird.. last night, i was watching gladiator... (which is probably really useless to know) but while i was watching this, i started to fall asleep, and everytime i closed my eyes, something would remind me of you. and i wanted to call you, but #1 it was midnight, and #2, i've called you abillion times and you never seem to answer. but yeah.. i think that was my inner self telling me, YOU NEED CALEB WILSON. so yes... i need you, and probably hot cocoa, so that seems to be my cure. think about it.
Tyler's first show is this weekend. not to mention its another glorious show of claymore's... so yes, im going. Chris page, do not worry.. i'll be there. and dont worry, shannon and i will scream for you like normal, so dont fret. i promise you.
So this is my final decision... i've come up with this, YES, all on my own... but i know im not the only one who feels like this. I know i always get angry when i read posts that i KNOW are about me, but they dont have my name in it... but #1, this is the only way i can seem to reach you, and #2.. its no ones business to know who im talking about. you should just know. what is your deal. you say you suck at everything and no one likes you.. but you know what... i have tried. even though it has been really hard. i have tried to make life normal for the two of us again. calling you up , going places with you... coming to get you when you had unwanted visitors at your house.. calling you when you were so down about everything... and what do i get in return. YOU LIEEEEEEEE and im fucking sick of it bro. not only do you lie about everything.. you lie about things that is easy for me to find out about. its like your intentionally pissing me off. you know, shannon and i wouldnt have a problem hanging out with you. as a matter of fact, we always talk about how we miss when the four of us were just friends. but you know why that will never be the same again? because you lie. you neglect yourself from the entire world. then you play this "pitty me" game. and no one cares about it. if you dont want to get help, then you wont. and threatening this same quote, "tell everyone goodbye for me, im going tonight." is bullshit. and you are just being selfish. you've realized how you hurt everyone, and you want sympathy. but for what? being a liar?
and as for saturday night... *you know what saturday im talking about too*.. i dont know if your more of a piece of shit for saying all along that she was nasty, and that you can't even look at her without cringing or.. going against all of that... and doing something like that. THEN GET MAD AT HIM!!! he didn't do anything. so im going to end this now... but all i have to say to you is this... when you decide to grow up... you have three people that you need to take the initiative to make things right with again. you fucked up, now you need to fix this all. YOURSELF. you may be mad that i said all of this... but im not going to say sorry. you may think your friends are the ones saying "you dont suck at everything, your wonderful" but you need to be mature enough to realize that your real friends are going to be the ones that say your being a moron and you need to realize it. think about it.
OUCH!! so I wake up a few mornings ago, and have a huge bruise on my hip.. and every day it keeps getting bigger. i think im dying. say a prayer? hey , thanks.
well, I think its time to go and get ready for work. boo. another long day. oh well it will go by quick enough.
in my deepest thoughts and affection.
.Love.:.Love.:.Love.
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