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Nov 04, 2009 17:16

I'm so sick of living in this house ( Read more... )

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something interesting anonymous December 4 2009, 22:51:53 UTC

Hey Nicole, I found out much to my surprise that one of my friends has been diagnosed as clinically depressed for many years and I looked up depression online to look for symptoms that may match hers. Much to my surprise, one of the symptoms of depression is severe joint pain which sounds like what you have.

I'm not sure if Bipolar falls under the larger umbrella of depression or not but it got me to wondering if that may be the actual cause of your severe pain? It very well sounds like it could be. I admittedly am very unknowledgeable about these things but I was shocked to see that this was one of the symtoms of depression.

I don't know if you have had the cause of the pain checked out yet but this could very well be the cause of it and would eliminate the possiblity of athritis.....which should come as a relief to you. A lesser of two evils I would imagine.

Anyways, I hope you are doing alright. You have not updated in quite a while (*growl/sigh* an old school reset for sure. What's next a "Nicolette" reference? LOL) and I want you to know I very much hope things are going better for you.

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Re: something interesting allfiredup86 December 5 2009, 00:29:20 UTC
There's no need for me to update. I'm just one big ball of angry.

Bipolar is a sort of depression - the other term for it is manic-depressive...because you flip between being manic and depressed. So I'm either ecstatic and pumped and irritable, or sad and angry.

Basically, it blows.

I'm still alive though, no worries :)

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Re: something interesting anonymous December 5 2009, 23:01:35 UTC
HOLY. SHIT. That second line opened my eyes to what yet another of my internet friends may be suffering from. I've never seen anything like this person.....from the highest of highs one minute to the depths of despair the next. And it happens all day.....every day.

For such a short reply from you, it had a major impact for me.

I cannot imagine living like that where you suffer from such mood swings and do not know the cause. I fully understand depression (small d) becuase I know exactly what is bringing me down and how painful that is. What I can't understand is Depression (capital D) where you cannot control it or even know why you are down.

You know how I am reluctant to ever say anything nice about you (*rolls eyes*) but I gotta tell you that I admire you so much for a reason you don't even know. The reason is that you are a fighter despite some serious problems in your life and some very serious downturns in your mood. And I am not talking about "Fists of Fury Nicole" either. I could throw you in a paper sack and open both ends, see if you can fight your way out and I am betting on the paper sack, (sorrrryyy....I just had to! LOL). But I am talking about this inner fighter in you that I picked up on way back in the day. I have seen you so down and then get determined and take hold of that inner fighter in you and rise back up again. And I have seen that many times too.

You are one of the VERY few people I know (particularly online) that stands up to me. Most of the time I maul people in droves due to their gutlessness and lack of intellect. You, on the other hand, always stood your ground when we would argue and never back down. You were not lashing out so it was not an anger issue but rather for you it was a PRIDE issue and I'll always respect you for that because it is so rare to find these days. But there were so many times after an arguement that I'd say to myself "She is totally wrong but God Damn she is one tough chick!". So I'd often leave the arguement both pissed off and yet at the same time smiling at how you stood your ground so well.

What you need to do is refind this inner fighter in you that I know you have and fight through all this. I know you have this in you. And I know it oh so well. The lashing out is self destructive, I do it all the time myself. I'm talking about channeling this anger into a positive energy and apply it to something constructive like school. I am flat out telling you that I know how strong you REALLY are despite some emotional frailties. This trait of yours that I don't think you realize you have is the biggest reason I am SO confident that you will get through all of this angst. And I am hardly saying this just to be nice.....it is legit and I'd be doing you a disservice if I were not sincere in that thought.

When you are determined and focused you are absolutely one of the last people I'd ever bet against in accomplishing whatever they wish. And that is a most sincere take. I'd never bet against you when your mind is right.

Anyways, I hope you have a change of heart and update more frequently even if is just to vent. You are obviously on friendly turf with me as I am one of your biggest cheerleaders (possibly the first 6'5" cheerleader in history tooLOL). But I think highly enough of you to want to see you succeed and will always encourage you to do so. I also think highly enough of you to tell you when I think you are wrong.....if I didn't I'm just wasting my time here. But just know that I am looking so much for you to beat all this and come out the other side of this shitstorm happy and strong.

That was a loooooooong response to a short reply. Guess I had a lot to say.

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